Wills & Dills in Westpoint, 6

There was some sort of party going on. A group of adults were sitting around on the wooden deck on the back of the house, and there were kids all over the yard, dozens of them!

Dylan said, “Wow! Are these all Carvers?”

“Probably,” Christian said. “Maybe some of them are just friends, but they’re most likely Carvers. There’s a lot of them.”

“There really is!” William said. “They don’t all live here, do they? I mean, it’s a big house, but it’s not that big.”

“No, they don’t all live here, just some of them. They live all over town. This is Ma’s house, she’s the head of the family. That’s Ma there, they’ve brought her table and chair outside! We’d better go and say hello to her first.”

They got out of the cars and Robert led them over to his grandmother.

“Hello, Robert. Who’ve you got here?” Ma looked up.

A long, skinny, guy sitting on the edge of the deck chortled. “Robert’s brought some fresh meat for us.”

“Shut up, Stretch!” the old lady snapped. “You’re not funny. Go and make yourself useful somewhere. Robert, who are your friends?”

“These are William and Dylan. They put their car off the road last night, near Windy point. Roman pulled it out of the ditch this morning, but it’s not going. We were hoping that someone would have a look at it.”

“You put your car off the road and into a ditch, in the rain? Bugger. Stretch, there’s a job for you. Go and fix the boys’ car.”

“Yeah, okay, Ma. Sure.” Stretch got to his feet. “We’ll have a look. Whose car is it?”

“It’s my mum’s car actually,” Dylan answered.

“You broke your mother’s car? Hoo boy! We’d better fix it then.”

Dylan followed Stretch back to the car and opened it. They stood looking at the engine.

“What’s the party for, Ma?” Robert asked.

“Do we need a reason? No, it’s Butch’s birthday next week. I can’t believe that my baby is 50 already! Make sure you wish your uncle a happy birthday. He’s cooking steaks on the barbeque, down the back.”

She looked down the yard and sighed, “Jeremy! Robert, go and get Jeremy and bring him here. I want to talk to him.

William, is it? Where are you boys from?”

“Umm, we live in Kaimoana, in North Canterbury.”

“By the sea. Yes, I know Kaimoana, nice town. Crappy beaches though, ours are much better. What brings you to Westpoint?”

“Well, Dills did. We just came over for the weekend, to have a look at the Coast.”

“It’ll take you more than a weekend to see all of it, it’s a big area. I’ve lived here all my life and I haven’t seen all the Coast. Still, you’re in the best part of it.”

“Everyone says that,” William grinned.

“Because it’s true, Boy. Ah, Jeremy!”

Robert came back with a tiny blond-haired boy in tow.

The old lady smiled, dotingly, “Jeremy, Sweetheart, you can’t play football with the big boys. They are too rough and you’re too little. You stay away from them.”

“But they need me!” he protested. “I’m not little. I bash them if they rough.”

“I’m sure you would, but you mustn’t do that. Your daddies would not be happy.”

“My daddies are not here. They’ve gone. They won’t know, so I bash them!”

“They’ll bash you back. Don’t fight with your cousins, Jeremy. They are your best friends.”

“They not! My daddies are my best friends.”

“Don’t make them sad then. You’ll make me sad too, and that’s not good.”

“That’s dangerous!”

“Yes, it is,” she laughed. “So don’t do it, you Scamp. This is William. Take him down to the Barbie and tell your Uncle Butch to feed him. Okay?”

“Okay, Ma. You love me, Ma.”

“I do. Now go away, Little Rascal. No fighting and no football.”

The little boy looked William up and down and he grinned and said, “Race ya!” and he took off at full speed, down to the far end of the yard.

Robert sighed, “That’s our Clown Prince. One day he’ll own everything; there’s a scary thought. Come and see Butch.”

Walking down the busy yard, William asked, “Why do you call him a prince? Is he Ma’s favourite?”

“No. Ma doesn’t have favourites, I think. Jeremy is Superboy and Billy’s boy. Everything they’ve got will be his, if they haven’t already given it away.”

“Oh, I see. He’s the heir to Billy’s Burgers then?”

“That and others, yeah, one day.”

“Lucky kid,”

“Yeah, he’s lucky. Hey, Butch. Happy Birthday. Got any food for some starving men?”

“Starving men?” the big guy at the barbeque looked around. “What men?”

“Shut up, Butch. We’re hungry.”

“When aren’t you? Grab some plates and I’ll fill them up. Who’s this then? Got yourself a boyfriend, Robert?”

“Shut up! I have not. This is William and that’s his mate, Dylan, up there at the car. They put it off the road last night, at Windy Point. Roman pulled it out this morning, but now it won’t start. Stretch is having a look at it.”

“Stretch is having a look? Good luck with that. He’s bloody useless.

Here, you boys take over the Barbie and I’ll go and see what’s wrong. Don’t burn the steaks or Ma will kill you.”

He handed over the implements and went up to the car.

“Stretch is useless?” William worried. “I thought you said they’re all good with cars.”

“Well they are! Don’t worry, they’ll fix it. It’s just what they’re like, they all think that they’re the only one who knows anything.”

“Except you.”

“Yeah, except me, I know nothing. I don’t need to, I’ve got uncles. I’ll do this, until I can get out of it. You get some plates, coleslaw and bread, bring them here, I’ll fill them and you can take one up to Dylan. Tell Christian and Roman to come and get their own.”

William got plates for Dylan, himself and Robert, put coleslaw and slices of bread on them and took them to the cook. “What happened to Jeremy? Oh, there he is – playing football again.”

“He what?” Robert looked around. “Oh, Jeremy. So young to die!”

“To die?”

“Yeah. Ma’s on her feet. Watch Ma stop the party.”

“JEREMY CARVER!!!” Ma stood at the front of the deck and roared.

Everyone there, from the adults to the smallest children, froze in their tracks and it was like the crowded yard was full of statues. The little blond-haired boy dropped the ball and meekly walked up to the deck. He stood below his great-grandmother with his head hung down and not looking at her.

Ma said, “Inside.” And she gestured at the wide-open glass door behind her.

Jeremy walked up the steps, went inside, quietly slid the door shut and everyone relaxed, or tried to. Ma huffed back to her chair.

“Whoah. Scary,” William breathed.

“Yeah,” Robert grinned as he put steaks and sausages on the plates. “Let that be a lesson to you, Young Man. Don’t mess with Ma Carver.”

“I won’t,” he agreed. “The poor wee boy.”

“Jeremy? Give him 10 minutes and he’ll be back, charming Ma and laughing like it never happened.”

“Okay. I’ll take this food to Dills.”

By now, there were 4 guys standing around the car, poking and prodding at the innards. Dylan was standing there too, looking hopeless. He didn’t have a clue, but he felt he should be there.

“Hey, Dills. I brought you some food. How’s it going here?”

“Good, I think. What would I know? Yeah, let’s eat.”

They sat down together, on the lawn in front of the deck. Christian and Roman came over.

“Hey! Where’s ours?”

“Robert says, go and get your own. He’s at the barbeque, down the yard there.”

“Of course he is. He won’t admit it, but he likes cooking. C’mon, Christian.”

Another couple, a boy and a girl, stood looking down at them. The boy squatted down.

“Hi. You must be Dylan and William. I’m Ross, Robert’s twin.”

“Hey, Ross. Yeah, we are, I’m William. Nice to meet.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dylan said. “And, I can see you’re twins. Robert’s got red-hair and you’ve got blond, otherwise you look identical.”

“We do,” Ross grinned. “We pinched some of Ma’s hair-dye once and dyed each other’s hair black – confused the hell out of everybody. How’s the car going?”

“It’s not, but there’s plenty of guys trying.”

“Yeah, they’re all triers. Maybe I can do something, that’d annoy them. Laters, Guys.”

He stood and joined the group at the car. His girl went down to the barbeque, William and Dylan sat eating and were soon joined by Christian, Roman and Robert, all with heaped plates and plastic cutlery.

A young woman walking past, with a red-haired baby on her hip, stopped. She put the baby down next to William and smiled, “Watch Carl for a minute for me.”

She joined the group of guys looking into the car. “Where’s the distributor?”

“Sheesh, Margaret!” Butch said. “What would you know about cars?”

“I know they need a distributor. Where is it?”

“Well, it’s . . . umm . . . damm! Where’s the distributor?”

“Dumb men,” Margaret came back and picked up her baby. “You’ve lost your distributor, Boys. Once they find another one, you’ll be back in business.”

“Really?” Dylan stood up. “Thanks.”

“No problems. You want anything done around here, ask a woman. The blokes are all useless!” She went up on to the deck and disappeared inside.

There was a lot of talking around the car and some were on their cells. Ross came back and sat next to his brother. “Problem solved. As soon as they find one, they’ll be right. Where’s Trina?”

“She got volunteered to take over the Barbie. Have you eaten?”

“Not yet.” Ross jumped up and headed down the yard.

“Ah. It must be love,” Roman grinned.

“Well he loves his food, not sure about the girlfriend.”

“Okay,” Butch came over. “There’s good news and there’s bad news. Laurie’s got a distributor, he’s been wrecking a Toyota, but he’s out at sea and won’t be back until about 6 tonight.”

Robert said, “Can’t we just go and get it?”

“No, we can’t. He’s got his shed locked up as tight as a drum.”

“So?”

“So he said that if anyone breaks in there he’ll friggin’ shoot them. He’s sick of having his gear ripped off and his tools taken. No, he’s being cranky, so we’d better wait.”

Roman said, “We could go back and search around where they crashed. We might find the original one.”

“Then again, you might not. It could be anywhere between there and here and if it hit the road it’s broken. No, it’s best if you just wait. We’ll fix your car by tonight, meantime, go and have a look around the town.”

“Thanks, Butch. We’ll do that. Thanks for all your help. We really appreciate it.”

“No problem, Kid. Our pleasure. Go and enjoy Westpoint.” He went inside to clean up.

Ross and his girl came back with drinks for everyone – coke of course.

“Okay, we’re out of here, Ross. Dad wants you.”

“Oh? Am I in trouble?”

“Not yet. No, he wants a hand with his truck.”

“Okay, sure. Gotta keep him sweet. See you later, Guys. Be good, Robert.”

“Have to, don’t I? Sandie’s away for the weekend.”

“I know. Don’t go near Mary Lamb’s place. Sandy would kill you.”

“Probably. I’ll be good.”

“You’ll probably be good?”

“Shove it, Ross.”

Ross and Trina walked away, hand in hand.

“Mary had a little lamb?” William grinned.

“She sure did,” said Roman. “Mary had a little lamb called Robert. Sore point. Change the subject. Is there anywhere in Westpoint that you want to go?”

“No. We don’t know the place at all. Any suggestions?”

“Not really. What say we just get in the car and cruise around? We’ll be your guides for the day.”

Dylan said, “That sounds great, thanks.”

“No probs. It’ll be something to do and it’ll be fun.”

Robert stood up. “You can count me out; I’ve got something I’ve got to do. I might catch up with you later. Don’t go home without me.”

Christian looked up at him. “What’ve you got to do, Robert?”

“I, umm . . . never you mind. Later.” He walked away.

Christian and Roman looked at each other and shook their heads.

“The boy’s an idiot!”

“He is. He’s thinking with his dick again.”

“As usual. Someone should tell Ma.”

“Someone’s not going to. Mind your own, Christian.”

“Why’s this Mary Lamb so bad?” Dylan queried.

“She’s the town bike. She’s nearly old enough to be his mother and she likes young boys – really likes them.”

“Eww!”

“Yeah, eww. Well, Robert’s busy for an hour or two. Want to go?”

“Will the car be all right here?”

“Safer than Fort Knox. Come on then.”

Roman had already put his car out in the street, so they said goodbye and thanks to Ma, (Jeremy was sitting in the chair with her), and they walked out to the street.