Wills & Dills in Westpoint, 3

"Si hoc legere scis, nimiam eruditionem habes" - Anybody? Lloyd?


A dog immediately started barking loudly. Someone yelled at it.

“Shut the fuck up, Bruno! Dumb dog! We can hear a knock too. Some bloody watch-dog you are! Get out of here!”

The door opened and a tall, skinny, red-haired boy looked out. “Hello!” he snapped.

“Whoah,” William said. “Sorry to disturb you. We’ve had a bit of trouble - put the car off the road and into a ditch. Can we please use your phone to call for help?”

“The phone? You’re off the road? Look, I’m sorry. The dumb dog upsets me. Come on in out of the rain.”

“Dylan said, “Do you think we should? We’re awfully wet.”

“And getting wetter. Come inside where it’s warm.”

They stepped into the warm kitchen. The boy closed the door and grinned at the pair of them standing there, dripping water and embarrassed.

“Sorry,” Dylan said. “I did tell you that we’re wet.”

“Of course you’re bloody wet. It’s not a problem. I don’t think you’re going to flood us out.”

“Robert? Who’ve you got here?” Another boy came through from the next room.

“Well I don’t know. Just a couple of strangers who’ve run off the road and want to use the phone.”

“A couple of very wet strangers! Are you hurt, Guys? Is anyone else with you?”

“No, there’s just us and we’re fine. Maybe a bit shaken up.” Dylan replied.

“Of course you are. You picked a bugger of a night to do it!”

“We weren’t planning on it,” William said.

“Of course you weren’t. Look, come and sit by the fire in the big room and I'll get you some towels.”

“We don’t want to be a bother,” Dylan said.

“It’s not a bother. The fire’s going and you’re cold and wet. Come and sit by it. Robert, could you go and get Roman? I think he’s out in the workshop.”

“He will be. He lives in the bloody workshop. I’m not going out in the rain. I’ll call him on his cell.”

“You’ve got cell-phone coverage here?” William said. “We tried just up the road and there wasn’t any.”

“No? Well there is here. Just as well too. You guys go and dry off and I’ll make some tea.”

Dylan said, “Tea? Not for me, thanks. I’m a coffee drinker.”

“Tonight you’ll have tea, it’s medicinal, hot and sweet, it’s good for the nerves. Everyone knows that.”

“Okay. Maybe just one then.”

“Good thinking,” said the other boy. “Come through here.”

They followed him through to the other room. ‘Big’ did not even begin to describe it. This room was humungous! It even had two fireplaces.

“Wait there, by the open-fire, and I’ll get some towels.”

He went back to the kitchen and returned with a handful of towels. He handed them one each, telling them to dry their heads, and spread a couple on the couch facing the fire.

“There you go. Now you can sit down without getting Mrs. M’s couch wet. My name’s Christian, what’s yours?”

“I’m William and this is Dylan.”

“William and Dylan. Are you brothers, or what?”

“No, we’re just mates. We are cousins, but mostly we’re friends.”

“Mostly? Yeah, Robert’s our friend too, sometimes.”

“I heard that, Squires!” Robert called from the kitchen.

“Suck it up, Mathieson!” Christian replied with a grin.

Another boy, ‘tall, dark and handsome’, came into the room.

“What’ve you got here, Christian? Strangers in the night, is it?”

“Something like that, yeah. Guys, this is my mate, Roman. Roman, these are William and Dylan. They just turned up at the door; they’ve put their car off the road.”

“You’ve had an accident? Are you hurt?”

“No, we’re fine,” William replied. “We’re just wet and stranded. We’ll call a tow-truck, and then we’ll be on our way.”

“I don’t like your chances.” Robert came in with a big teapot and a bottle of milk. “If you’re off the road, you’re not blocking it. There’s only 2 tow-trucks in Westpoint and I can’t see them coming out on a night like this.”

“Too true,” Roman nodded. “You’re probably going to have to wait until the morning.”

Dylan said, “Damm. Oh well, I guess we can go back and sleep in the car.”

“In the rain? I thought you said it was in a ditch?”

“Yeah, it is, but it’s upright and not broken or anything, just stuck.”

Christian said, “You’re not sleeping in your car. You can stay here with us. We’ve got 14 bedrooms and just the 3 of us at home.”

“Fourteen bedrooms! Have you really got that many?”

“Yes, really. Eight in the house and six in the sleep-outs. We had a big family,” Robert grinned.

“You must’ve!” William exclaimed.

“Yeah. Not that many, but we had a lot. Most of them have left home now. There’s just Mum, Ross and I, and these 2 refugees left. Ross is my twin, he’s in town for the night. He’s meant to be at Ma’s, but he’s more likely at his girlfriend’s. Mum’s away working, she won’t be back until Sunday.”

“So there’s just you three here then. Where’s your father?”

“In the cemetery, pushing up the daisies. He died, years ago, and left Mum with 8 kids.”

“That must’ve been tough on her.”

“Yeah, it was. But she came from a big family too; they helped. Our grandmother lives in Westpoint and there’s heaps of uncles and aunties and stuff.”

“Stuff is good,” William grinned. “How far is it to Westpoint? We were hoping to get there tonight.”

“Well, you won’t be. It’s 25k’s, not that far – Superboy runs out here sometimes.”

“Superboy?”

“Yeah, our brother. He lives in town with our brother, Billy. I’ll get the mugs and stuff and we’ll have that tea.”

Robert went out, and returned with the mugs. William and Dylan sat on the towels on the couch and watched as he poured the drinks, shovelling plenty of sugar into them. Dylan shuddered, which wasn’t hard to do, he was still shivering anyway.

Roman said, “Actually, I’ve got a car; I could run you into Westpoint. Is anyone expecting you there?”

“No, we don’t know anyone there,” Dylan replied.

William said, “We’ve got a tent, but that won’t be happening. It’s too wet for that. We’ll find a motel somewhere.”

“No, stuff that,” Christian said. “Stay here with us. You’re here now anyway.”

“Well, yeah, thanks,” Dylan replied. “It’s good to be out of that rain.”

They sat and drank the tea. It was sickly-sweet, but it was hot and that was good.

“Okay,” Roman said. “You stay here with us and tomorrow, in the daylight, we’ll see what we can do about your car. It’ll be all right there for the night, won’t it?”

“Guess so. It’s not going anywhere.”

Christian said, “That’s a plan then. You two are still shivering. Finish your drinks and you can get in the shower. That’ll warm you up. Leave your sneakers here, by the fire, and I’ll throw your clothes in the dryer.”

“That’ll work,” Roman agreed. “I’ll get some blankets and you can wrap-up in them. Have you eaten?”

William said, “Not for a couple of hours!”

“Time you did then. Robert?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll rustle up some food – something hot.”

“Sounds great. Thanks. We can pay you.”

“There’s no need for that. Rescuing refugees is what we do here, isn’t it, Guys?”

“Right!” Christian and Roman agreed. “And you do it well.”

“You two were refugees?”

“Yeah, we were. Our parents threw us out, Mrs. M took us in, so we live here now.”

“That was good of her,” William said. “Why did your parents throw you out?”

Roman said, “Because we’re gay – gay and together.”

“You two are together? So are we.”

“Damm!” Roberts said. “More gayboys. I’m always surrounded by them. Well, you’ll only need one bedroom then. You can sleep in Bugs’ room. That’s already seen plenty of action.”

“Bugs’ room?”

“Yeah, Bugs. He’s our other gay brother, we’ve got heaps of them. Him and his partner are away at ‘varsity, flatting together of course.”

Roman said, “That will save on the hot water too. It’s a big old shower so you can both get in there together. You’ve must’ve done that before.”

“Yes, we have,” Dylan replied. “Guys, we’re grateful for your help and everything and we are gay, but we’re together and we don’t play around with anyone else.”

“Good job too,” Roman replied. “Because we don’t either. Christian would kill me!”

“Yes he would,” Christian agreed. “Okay, come and I’ll show you where the shower is.”

They had a quick shower, which was great. There’s no better way to warm up. After that, they went back to the fire, wrapped in blankets, sat on the couch and talked and drank more tea.

William was quiet as he sat studying Robert. Robert finally had to ask, “Something wrong?”

“I was just thinking. You’re a local, Westpoint’s the home of Billy’s Burgers, isn’t it? Are you related? You look like their logo.”

“He does!” Dylan agreed. “I thought you looked sort of familiar. It’s not you, is it?”

“No, it’s not me, but that’s good spotting. The logo is a cartoon of Billy, he’s my brother.”

“Billy is your brother? Wow! You must be sweet for burgers.”

“Yeah, sweet – sometimes. Sometimes he’s as tight as a fish’s bum.”

“Billy is not!” Christian protested. “He’s a good guy, Billy. He and Superboy both are. They do a lot of good for a lot of people.”

“Yeah, okay, they do. He’s still just my brother though. They both are.”

“Damm,” Dylan said. “I wish I had a brother who had a million burger bars.”

“They haven’t got a million of them, yet. But they’re working on it, or, Mum is anyway.”

“Your mum is working on it?”

“Yeah, she works for them. She's the General Manager, or whatever. That’s why she’s away now. She’s up in Auckland, on business again.

Actually, they’ve got so many businesses around Auckland, Mum reckons that they should move the Head Office and distribution center up there. But Superboy says no, it stays in Westpoint.”

“So, is this Superboy the real boss?”

“Kind of, yeah. He’s Billy’s partner.”

“He’s gay too, is he?”

“Only with Billy. They’re a couple, have been for years.”

“Good for them. Why do you call him Superboy?”

“Because he is. He’s super and he’s a boy, kind of. You won’t see them around, they’re away on holiday again. I think they’re in America.”

“They are,” said Roman. “They’re running in the Boston Marathon. Superboy could win it too, easy, but he won’t because he won’t run away from Billy.”

“Sounds like they’re a good couple.”

“Oh they are!” Christian said. “They’re an inspiration to us all. Robert, are you going to feed us, or what?”

Robert stood up. “Yeah, I am; I was just waiting for the fryer to warm up. Eggs and chips okay with everybody?”

“Sounds good,” said Dylan. “Unless you want to do burgers?”

“Not in this house! I don’t do burgers; I’m not Billy.”

“You’re pretty super though.

“Shut up, Roman.”

Christian and Roman both went with Robert to the kitchen, leaving William and Dylan in front of the fire.

“You okay, Wills?”

“Oh, yes. Very okay. You?”

“I’m good. Very comfy. These are good guys.”

“They are. You couldn’t have picked a better door to knock on.”

“There wasn’t a lot to choose from, but, yeah. We struck it lucky, I think.”

“We did! Certainly beats putting up a tent in the rain.”

“You can say that again.”

“Beats putting up a tent in the rain.”

“Shut up, Dork! Wills, you keep that blanket wrapped tightly around you.”

“Why? No-one’s going to try anything. Christian and Roman are a couple and Robert’s straight.”

“Gorgeous Boy, the way you look is enough to make any guy think twice.”

“It is not.”

“It is too!”

“I love you, Dills.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

“Bloody do!”

“Bloody don’t!”

“Mum! The children are fighting.” Roman came back and stood in front of the fire, facing them. “And what are you two squabbling about?”

Dylan said, “Not a lot. Just who loves who the most.”

“Yeah. And it’s me,” William grinned.

“Not!”

“Is too!”

“Ah,” Roman grinned. “Ain’t love grand? Kicking me out was the best thing my dumbass parents ever did. Now I get to live with my Boy, full-time.”

“You wouldn’t go back then?”

“Not without Christian.”

“Very cool. We used to live together full-time too.”

“You used to, but not now?”

“No, not now. Wills’ parents moved out, to their new house, so he had to go with them.”

“You lived together and his parents were there too?”

“Yeah, and my parents. We’re cousins. Wills’ father is my mum’s brother.”

“I see, I think. So you’re like ‘kissing cousins’ then?”

“Oh yah!” William grinned. “Very like. One day we’ll live together again, just not yet. For now, we have to grab all the time we can get.”

“Like this weekend?”

“Exactly. It started off bad, but it’s getting better.”

“That’s good. You’ve come to the right place.”

Dylan said, “We were just saying that. Thanks for letting us stay.”

“No problem. Stay as long as you like. We know what it’s like to be wandering around with no place to go. I don’t know what we would’ve done if Mrs. M hadn’t taken us in.”

“She sounds like a good lady.”

“She is, she’s the best.”

William said, “She must be pretty cool, having gayboys living in her house. And she’s got gay sons too?”

“She has. Well, 2 out of 5 of them. Of course, the first one to come out was Billy, and he’s with Superboy. Any mother would be glad for her boy to be with Superboy, she’d be mad not to.”

“Because he’s rich?”

“No, because he’s super. Superboy’s not rich, I think. He’s got some money but he works for it. They both do. They were still at school when they got together.”

“Yeah? So were we – we’re still there.”

“We are too, so far.”

Christian came in with a big plate of bread and butter, the tomato sauce, (Watties’ of course), and a handful of cutlery for everyone.

“You guys want more tea, or should we have OJ or coke?”

“Coke!” Dylan stressed. “Definitely coke, thanks.”

“No probs, we’ve got plenty. Roman, coke or Billy’s OJ?”

“Thanks, I’ll have OJ.”

“Of course you will.” He returned to the kitchen.

“Billy’s OJ?” William queried.

“The orange juice that they sell in Billy’s burgers, honey-sweetened and carbonated. They make it in Westpoint and we get it for free.”

“Must be nice being related to Billy’s Burgers.”

“I guess it is. We’re not really, but it’s close.”

Christian came back with the bottles of drink and glasses. “Robert’s bloody disgusting!”

“Why, what’s he done?”

“He cracked an egg, there was a chicken in it and he’s deep-frying it.”

“He’s disgusting.”