Westpoint Tales - the Lost Years, 11 (final)

“Look, come in here and sit down.”

Billy ushered everyone into their room. Bryce and Robbie sat on the chairs, Billy sat on a window ledge and Justin and Conrad on the bed.

“Okay, thanks Billy, that’s better. Now let’s talk. First of all you can stop calling me Superboy. I’m not Superboy, I’m Justin. Okay?”

“Okay, Justin. But what am I going to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“To do? I don’t know. I don’t know. I just want to love Nicholas, that’s all I know. I want to, but I can’t! She scares me, his mother, she bloody terrifies me and she hates me!”

“Yeah, she scares me too. But forget about her for a minute, let’s talk about Nicholas. You want to love him. You want to bend him over a bed and fuck him, do you?”

“Justin!” Red-faced, Conrad leapt to his feet and glared down at him. “Don’t be disgusting! Fuck you, Superboy! I’m outta here.”

“Oh no you’re not.” Justin stood, put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down again. “You came here to talk, so talk to me and no bullshit. Do you want to fuck Nicholas or not?”

“No! I don’t want to fuck Nicholas!” Conrad snapped. He was getting mad.

“Good! I didn’t think that you did actually. So, what do you want?”

“Want? I want . . .I want . . to be with him, to hold him and love him. I want to talk with him and be his friend and enjoy him. I love him.”

“Being his friend is good – very good. Do you want to make love to him?”

“Damm! You’re blunt. I don’t know. Yes, I do! I want to love him totally, if he wants to. I want to give him all of me, if he wants it, one day.”

“Oh he wants it. That much we do know. Nicholas loves you, Conrad. He’s a sweet, gentle boy and he loves you. Don’t you ever hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him. I never would. I couldn’t. I love him, but I can’t! I can’t get near him, there’s his mother. She hates me.”

“Oh yes, there’s his mother all right. We’ve got a problem there. But there’s a couple of things that you’ve got to understand. She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t know you. She loves Nicholas, in her own way, and she’s trying to protect him. She’s been doing it for all of his life. Nicholas is a gentle, vulnerable boy and he’d be so easily hurt.

Donna Awatere-Jones is not so bad really. She drinks too much, she’s confused and she’s way too emotional, but she’s just a frightened little lady, all on her own, and she loves her boy. Somehow, we’ve got to show her that you’re not a threat, that you love him too and want to make him happy.”

“You can do that?”

“”I don’t know, but we’re going to try. I’ve already convinced her that I’m not a threat and that I’ll help protect him. And, Conrad, get this very, very straight. I WILL protect him.

I like you. I like what I see, a lot, but if you ever, knowingly, hurt that boy, you won’t have to worry about his mother. I, personally, will make you wish that you’d never been born. And that’s a promise!”

“Whoah. You’re right – she’s not so scary at all. Now I’d really be scared, but I’m not. I’ve got nothing to be afraid of because I wouldn’t hurt him. Thank you, Justin. You’re a good friend.”

“He is!” said Billy. “Justin’s the best friend that anyone could have. I think you can rest assured that he’s on your side too.”

“Oh, but I am!” Justin grinned. “You’re great, Conrad. I see what Nicholas sees in you. I think I’m going to love you too. Gimme a hug!”

Conrad hugged him, hard and long. “Thank you Justin. I feel much better now. Nothing’s changed but I’m so glad that you’re on our side. I don’t care what you say, you ARE Superboy. There’s no-one like you and I love you too.”

“Right!” said Billy getting to his feet. “Enough for one night. It’s getting late. Life goes on tomorrow and we’ve all got jobs to go to. Besides which, our boy’s in the next room, storing up energy for the morning. Go home, go to bed and don’t worry, things will turn out all right. We’re all on your side. Now, go away.”

Driving home to Carvers’ Beach, Bryce said, “Conrad, I’m sorry about your problems, but I can’t tell you how delighted we are to see you coming out of your shell. It’s worth it, Boy, it really is. People are not meant to live alone, we’re not designed that way.”

“Thanks Bryce, but I don’t live alone. I live with you guys.”

“You do, and that’s good but that’s, mostly, just physically, in the same house. I’m talking about living alone emotionally. You need a mate.”

“I do! I’ve found him too. I want what you and Robbie have got.”

“That’s good. That’s really good, but sometimes you have to fight for what you want. Do you know how we first got together?”

“Yeah, of course I do. You started by playing dedications to each other on the Toucan’s show.”

“We did, but there’s more to it than that. I still had to fight for what I wanted.”

“No you didn’t. Your families were all wonderfully accepting of you, you didn’t have to fight them. Oh, you mean that preacher guy, don’t you? But you two didn’t fight him, you just folded up and Robbie’s dad stood up for you both.”

“He did, and that was great, but I still had to fight.”

“Who then? Not your families, not the church guy, who did you have to fight?”

“Robbie.”

“Robbie? But Robbie loved you before he even spoke to you.”

“He did, and that was the problem. He wouldn’t talk to me. He ran away every time I looked at him. At least you know that’s not going to happen to you.”

“Apparently not. But, what did you do about it then?”

“I caught him. I literally caught him. He was standing on the beach one day; I ran up behind him, grabbed him and held him until he settled down.”

“You did? Wow. And then what did you do?”

“I kissed him, and then I kissed him again.”

“And you lived happily ever after?”

“So far, yeah,” Robbie agreed. “Everyone has a different story. All Bryce is saying is that you have to fight for what you want, your own battles in your own way.”

“I’m going to. I already am. Nicholas’ mum, is too much for me but, hey! We’ve got Superboy on our side. We can’t lose.”

“We hope so, we really hope so. Justin will try, but he’s not perfect you know. We’re all on your side, Conrad.”

“Yeah, and that’s good too. Thanks Guys.”

Kathleen took Jeremy to pre-school the next day. It was normally Justin’s day, but he was busy. She wasn’t complaining. And, she’d get to see the other grandchildren as well. She did love the little ones, all of them, but she was glad that she wasn’t responsible for their full-time care. Too much was too much.

Conrad thought a lot about what Justin had said. Mrs. Awatere-Jones loved her boy and was only trying to protect him. But Nicholas didn’t need protecting from him. No way! There was no way that he would ever hurt Nikita. How was he going to make her see that they were on the same side? Could anyone? Could even Superboy do that?

Bryce and Robbie said that he had to fight his own battles. But could he? The woman bloody terrified him. Was being with Nicholas worth it? Well, was it? He didn’t know.

He drove to school next morning and parked, in his usual place, in the street outside. Nicholas was there waiting for him and looking worried.

“Hey Nikita,” he greeted him with a smile. This poor kid did not deserve his worries.

“Conra-a-a-d!” A big grin spread across his face. “I was waiting for you. I’m really sorry about my mother. Are we still going to be friends?”

“Sure we are,” Conrad grinned back. “We ARE going to be friends and no-one’s going to stop us.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that you wouldn’t want to know me now. I like being your friend, Conrad. I like you.”

“”I like you too, Nikita. I like you very much. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but we are going to be together. We will, I promise.”

“Big words!”

They both swung around. Nicholas’ sister, Jo-Anne was standing there watching them.

“I thought that he might have been waiting here for you, so I waited too. You say you’re going to be together, you and Nicky?”

“We are. Somehow, someday, we are going to be together.”

“That might be easier said than done.”

“Oh, I know that,” Conrad sighed. “But we will.”

“Yeah? Look, Mr. Seeker, my little brother loves you, he adores you and he thinks that the sun rises and sets in your direction. You fuck with him and I’ll fucking kill you!”

“I wouldn’t hurt him! I wouldn’t do that. Why does everyone keep thinking that I will?”

“Who keeps thinking that you will?”

“Everybody. Superboy said the same thing. Well, he said that he’d make me wish that I’d never been born, but he meant the same thing.”

“Yeah, he’d do that. Good for Superboy, but he won’t have to worry, you’ll already be dead. I’ll see to it. Look, Kid, my little brother’s a gorgeous boy. He’s a bit slow, but he gets there in the end. He’s got a beautiful soul, he’s soft and gentle and he’s totally in love with you – has been for years.

You could so easily hurt him. One word, one wrong look and you could destroy him.”

“I won’t! Dammit. I won’t hurt him. Not now, not ever. I love him. I bloody love him!”

“For real? The Seeker loves the Dummy?”

“No. Conrad loves Nicholas. Don’t call him the Dummy, he isn’t.”

“No, he’s not. That your car?”

“Yes, it’s my car. What of it?”

“You’ve got petrol in it? Right then. You get back in your car, take Nicholas and bugger off for the day. Just the two of you, go and get lost somewhere out of town. Don’t come back until school’s out.”

“You really think we should?”

“I really think you should. Just do it.”

“But, what about school?”

“Forget about school. They’ll survive a day without you. What’s more important, a day together or one more day in school?”

“More important?” He turned around and grinned. “Nikita, let’s get in the car. Thanks, Jo-Anne.”

“Shut up and drive.”

They left at speed, up Derby Street to turn north and head away out of town. Jo-Anne watched them go and then she thought, ‘Bugger it, I’m not going to school either.’

She went home to talk to her mother, but when she got there, Superboy his brother, Jonathan, and Billy were already there. She listened, for a minute, to what they were talking about and then went in to join the conversation.

Conrad drove up Brigham Street and passed the intersection with Eastman’s Road without looking down there for fear of what he might see. They went north, out of town, across the bridge over the Williamson River, past the cemetery and away up country.

They went along in silence, not speaking a word, through Fairfield, through Waimari and Ngakawau. Partway to Seddon, there was a narrow graveled road alongside the small Snowy River, (which was just a creek really). He turned off there and drove up through the tree-lined road along the river-bank.

There was a small, sun-washed, clearing with a grassy bank between the road and the bubbling stream. He parked off the road, turned off the engine and the silence was deafening.

“This is a nice place,” Nicholas smiled.

“It is. I came here once with my dad, fishing. We didn’t catch any, but it’s a nice place. Plus, it’s private. You can hear any cars coming from miles away. We’ll get the blanket out of the back and sit down by the river.”

They spread the tartan rug on the grass at the edge of the bank and sat watching the water. Conrad threw out a stick and watched it float away.

“Conrad, what are we doing here?”

“We’re having a day off. Enjoying the sunshine and spending some time together.”

“That’s good. You told Jo-Anne that you love me.”

“I did. I did and I do. I did tell her and I do love you.”

“I love you, Conrad. I have always loved you, since forever.”

“Yeah! So I’m told. I wish I’d known that a long time ago.”

“You know now. Are you going to kiss me?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

“Hell yes!”

So, he did.

A kiss is such a simple thing. Two heads, two pairs of lips coming together. Conrad had never kissed anyone, apart from family and that was a long time ago. This was different. Wow! Was it different!

They melted into each other. Their clothes were lost and they delighted in each other’s naked bodies.

Hours later, they sat, still naked, and ate their school lunches washed down with water from the creek – well, it was clean. Conrad sat and smiled at the boy next to him. Clothed he was good-looking, but naked he was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Nicholas was warm and loving, accepting and giving. He was adventurous and he was hot! He was a sex machine. Nicholas made love with his whole body and he gave it his total, 100%, attention; this boy was made for loving!

Conrad was surprised – surprised, amazed, astounded and absolutely delighted. He’d never imagined that anything could be so good and he never wanted this day to end. If he thought he loved him before, he was wrong. Now he loved him. He was totally and completely, 100%, over the top and head over heels in love with this boy. Totally!

Even the best of days must end and, at 2.30pm, they cleaned up, dressed and headed back into town. Nicholas sat smiling widely. Actually, the smile hadn’t left his face all day, except for – well, you know when!

Conrad drove, glancing at him and smiling himself. This was so good! His life, their lives, should always be this good. A frown flicked over his face when he thought about what might be waiting for them in town. Would anyone know where they’d been? Would SHE know?

No! Fuck it. He didn’t care. He loved this boy and he didn’t care who knew it. He didn’t care if SHE knew it. He loved Nicholas and he was going to be with him – he’d fight for the right to be with him. He’d even fight HER. He would.

Back in town, in Brigham Street and approaching Eastman’s Road, Nicholas broke the silence. “Maybe you’d better stop here and I will walk home.”

Conrad kept going. “No, I don’t think so.”

He went around the corner into Eastman’s Road, drove up to Nicholas’ home and stopped there.

“Thank you, Conrad. I’ll go inside now.” Nicholas shot out of the car.

“We’ll both go inside.” Conrad got out as well.

“Are you sure? She’ll kill you.”

“I don’t care. Nikita, I love you. I love you and you love me. Your mother has to know that, she just has to!”

“Maybe we should go and get Superboy first.”

“No. We don’t need Superboy, we’ve got each other and that’s enough. Come on, let’s do it.”

They marched resolutely into the house and through to the kitchen where Mrs. Awatere-Jones was sitting talking to a strange man. She looked up and they entered and Conrad nearly failed. But, no!

“Mrs,” he coughed to clear the lump. “Mrs. Awatere, I’m Conrad Keenan, I’m 15 and I’m in love with Nicholas and he loves me too. We cut school, we’ve been together all day and I love him.”

“Well!” she said. “You’re a feisty one aren’t you?”

“I’m not really, but I love him and we need to be together. We just have to!”

“Nicholas?” she stood up. “Do you love this boy?”

“Yes, Mum, I do. This is Conrad! I’ve always loved him and I always will.”

“Are you two having sex?”

“I’m sorry,” said Conrad. “But that’s really none of your business. Whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it together.”

They waited for the explosion, but it didn’t come. She just shrugged. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Mum? Mum, are you okay with that – with us?”

“Yes Boys,” she smiled. “I’m okay with that. As long as you’re both together and you’re both happy with it, I’m okay with that.”

“Really? You’re really okay? Oh, Shit! Mum, thank you!”

“Be happy, Son. That’s all I want. I’ve been talking to Superboy and his Billy, and to Jonathan and Jo-Anne too. Everything’s going to be fine.

This here is Bill Taylor, he’s in Alcoholics Anonymous and we’ve been talking. I think we’re going to see a lot of him. Bill has got a gay son too. His boy, Jordan, is in a relationship and very happy in it. Everything’s good.”

“No,” Nicholas shook his head. “Everything is not good. Everything is bloody good! Everything is perfect. Thank you, Mum. Thank you, Conrad.”

“You need to thank Superboy and the others too, but not now. Go away, Boys. Go and thank each other. We’re busy talking here.”

Nicholas took Conrad to his room and they did thank each other – a lot.

(Dare I say) The End.