Westpoint Tales - the Lost Years, 10

Conrad was not a total innocent. He’d fought some major battles with his family, and won some of them too. But he’d never been subjected to a tirade like that. Battles with his family were always on a more sober, civilized level.

And the language! He was no prude. He could swear, sometimes, of course he fucking could! Everybody did. It was still largely a rough-arse, working class town in many respects. But he’d never heard any adult woman sound off like that.

She was foul-mouthed and bloody scary too. She had terrified him. He wouldn’t go back there in a hurry.

“Nicholas! Oh, Nikita, what are we going to do?”

The safe and sensible thing would be to do as she demanded and stay away from him? But, could he? He didn’t want to, he wanted to be with Nicholas.

He drove away from Eastman’s Road and home to Carvers’ Beach, where the sane people were, and lay down on his bed to think.

He went to work, at the radio station, at the usual time and did his 3 hour show, but his heart was not in it. Usually he laughed and joked and had a great old time when he was on the air, but not tonight. Tonight he was flat and lifeless. He didn’t laugh, not once, and just went through the motions making the announcements and playing the music.

Before the 10 o’clock news, he played one last dedication.

“Okay, that’s it for tonight. This is Conrad Keenan signing off. Before we go, here’s one last dedication. This one goes out from me to you – you know who.”

He played Elton John’s ‘Nikita’.

Hey Nikita is it cold In your little corner of the world
You could roll around the globe And never find a warmer soul to know
Oh I saw you by the wall Ten of your tin soldiers in a row
With eyes that looked like ice on fire The human heart a captive in the snow
Oh Nikita You will never know anything about my home I'll never know how good it feels to hold you
Nikita I need you so Oh Nikita is the other side of any given line in time
Counting ten tin soldiers in a row Oh no, Nikita you'll never know
Do you ever dream of me Do you ever see the letters that I write
When you look up through the wire Nikita do you count the stars at night
And if there comes a time Guns and gates no longer hold you in
And if you're free to make a choice Just look towards the west and find a friend


Conrad cried in the car on the way home. He arrived and went straight to his room. In a couple of minutes, there was a knock at the door and Robbie and Bryce came in.

“Conrad? Are you okay? You weren’t your usual bright and breezy self on the air tonight.”

“Hey Robbie. I’m okay. I let you down didn’t I? I just wasn’t in the mood. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Lad. I don’t give a bugger about the show, it’s you that I’m concerned about. What’s wrong, Conrad?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing!”

“I don’t know what it is, but whatever’s wrong, it’s not nothing.”

Conrad hung his head and didn’t answer, he was too busy trying not to cry. Robbie, seeing that he was not going to tell him, continued.

“Conrad, please don’t shut us out. I’m not your father but I’m the nearest thing to it that you’ve got right now. I’m your favourite uncle, aren’t I?

Believe it or not, we were kids once too. We’ve been where you are now. Maybe we can help you, but we can’t unless we know what the problem is.”

“Listen to your uncle, Boy,” said Bryce. “He loves you and he just wants to help. We both do. Who is Nikita?”

Once again, Conrad-who-never-cried started bawling. He had no control over it anymore. His emotions welled, tears overflowed and he sobbed his heart out.

“Oh Conrad!” Robbie sat beside him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. Bryce sat on his other side and held both of them.

“Su. . .Su. . .Superboy,” Conrad sobbed.

“Superboy? Justin? Has Justin done something to upset you? He wouldn’t , would he?”

“No! Not like that. I want Superboy!” he wailed.

“You want Justin? Oh shit, Conrad! You’re a great kid, a really great kid, but that is not going to happen. No way! Justin is with the great love of his life and nothing or no-one is ever going to prise him away from him. Not going to happen.

“No!” Conrad looked from one serious face to the other and grinned through his tears.

“No, Robbie. Don’t be a dork! Of course I don’t want Superboy like that. I’m not in love with him. He’s old anyway. I need to talk to him, I need his help.”

“Oh. I see. Sorry. But why can’t you talk to us? We’re here for you. We’ll always be here for you and there’s nothing you can’t say to us.”

“Like Robbie said,” Bryce spoke up. “We’ve been where you are. We were gawky teenagers once.”

“You were never gawky, Blondie.”

“Shut up, Robbie. I’m talking to the boy. Conrad there is nothing that we wouldn’t do for you, but you have to let us help.”

“You can’t! You can’t help, only Superboy can. Superboy knows who Nikita is, he told me about him in the first place. I want Justin. I need him.”

“Ah!” said Robbie. “Nikita’s a boy. What’s your problem with him?”

“You don’t know, Robbie. You can’t know. You don’t even know who he is or where he is. Only Superboy knows.”

Bryce said, “Just tell us one thing. Are you in love with this Nikita?”

“I don’t know. But . . yes! Dammit, yes I am. I’m in love with Nicholas already. I don’t know what to do!”

“And Justin would know what to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know, but I’ve got to talk to him.”

“I think you do. Come on then, in the car.”

“In the car? What are you talking about, Blondie? Look at the time, it’s late.”

“It’s not late, Robbie. It’s not even 11 o’clock yet.”

“Justin and Billy have got a little kid. They’ll be in bed by now.”

“If they are, then we’ll just have to get them up. Come on, Robbie, this is important. Look at the Boy, he’s a mess. We don’t want him spending the whole night like this.”

“Hmmm. You really think Justin can help, Conrad?”

“I don’t know, but talking to him might.”

“Yes, it might. Come on then, we’re going to see Superboy.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Okay. Thanks Bryce. Thanks Robbie.”

The main street was quiet but not completely deserted, there were still a few people about. The public bar of the Adelphi was still open, so they went in there. Bob Reynolds was behind the bar, cleaning up and getting ready to shut down for the night.

He turned and looked at them. “Hello Bryce, Robbie. You’re too late, sorry, we’re shutting down. In any case,” he looked at Conrad. “We don’t serve underagers in here. There’s no way that you’re 18, Lad, and a hotel bar is no place for kids.”

“Hello Bob,” Bryce grinned. “We’re not looking for a drink.”

“Well that’s good. I’d hate to see your name in the court cases in your own paper. What can we do for you, Gentlemen.”

“We need to see Justin. Is he at home?”

“Justin? Yes, of course he is. He’ll be up in their room, probably asleep, it’s getting late.” He had a close look at Conrad’s face and nodded. “It’s important, isn’t it? Okay, go through the ‘house’ door there, up the stairs and it’s the third door on the left. Try not to wake the little one.”

“Of course. Thanks Bob. You’re a good guy.”

“Sure I am. Superboy taught me,” Bob grinned.

“I dunno about that,” Robbie replied. “Maybe you taught Superboy.”

They trooped upstairs and knocked on the door. It cracked open and Billy looked out.

“Oh? Hey Robbie. Hey Bryce. And you must be Conrad? Are you looking for Justin? I’ll get him. Hold on a minute while we get some clothes on.

Out of bed, Justin! You’ve got visitors.”

In a couple of minutes the door opened again and Justin came out.

“Hello Superboy. Sorry to disturb you.”

“Not a problem, Bryce. Hey Robbie. Hey Conrad. Conrad? What’s wrong, Boy?”

His self-control dissolved and Conrad burst into tears again. “Sor. . sor. . .sorry, Superboy,” he sobbed.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Justin stepped forward and put his arms around him. “It’s okay, Conrad. It’s okay.”

Bryce, Robbie and Billy were close to tears themselves as they stood and watch the boy cling to Justin and cry piteously.

He calmed down, pushed away and made a wry grin. “And I’m the Seeker!’ he shrugged. “I’m sorry Superboy. I’m sorry, but you’ve ruined my life!”

“I have? We’ll have to fix it then. How have I ruined your life, Conrad?”

“You can’t. Nobody can fix it. Nobody!”

“Nobody can do lots of stuff. He’s a clever guy is Nobody. You still haven’t said what’s wrong.”

“Nicholas!” he wailed and he started to cry again.

“Nicholas?” Justin took him back into his arms. “What on earth has Nicholas done?”

“Nothing! I love him. I love him so much, Superboy. Oh, Fuck! I love him and it’s hopeless!”

“Oh, I see,” Justin grinned. “Damm, love is fierce at 15! You love Nicholas and I know that Nicholas loves you. You’ve met the lovely Mrs. Awatere-Jones, haven’t you?”

“Ye-e-e-es,” he wailed again. “She hates me. She really, really, hates me and I love him. Oh, Superboy, what am I going to do?”

“Buggered if I know,” Justin shrugged and forced a little grin.