Whakahapa, 14

(Pronounced - 'Foka-har-par')

“Jeroboam!!” Amos flew to his side. He was there, leaning over him, before Esther even got out of her chair. “You're awake! How long have you been awake? Are you hurting? Where does it hurt? You must be hungry – we've got this stuff, a meal in a drink. Do you want some now? Does it hurt? Oh Shit! You're bloody awake, at last!”

Jeroboam smiled up at him. “Hello, Amos. Since when do you use swear words?”

“Since now. Esther taught me, she knows lots of swear words – bloody good ones too. This is Esther. She's been looking after you real good. I'd be useless!”

“Yes, I think you would. Out of the way, Boy. Let me have a look at him.”

“Don't go far,” Jeroboam smiled.

“I won't. I'll be here. What can I do, Esther?”

“You can stand down at the end of the bed. Now, Mister Jeroboam, how does that head feel?”

Amos stood quietly watching, feeling more and more useless while Esther checked Jeroboam over, cleaned him and changed his dressings. She seemed to sense this because she tried to get him involved, passing bandages, ointments and cloths etc., but he held back and she had to do it all herself. He smiled to himself, he knew what she was trying to do, it was fairly obvious, but he was shy all of a sudden so he didn't play along. Esther might talk rough and tough, but she had a good heart really.

“Okay.” She finished at last. “You're not too bad. We'll have you up and about soon. We were lucky.”

“We?” Jeroboam queried. “I don't feel lucky.”

“You were, you're not dead and, yes, we – you got hit and it was me that hit you.”

“Oh, that. It was my fault. I was sleeping in a car. I woke up and heard you coming and I was afraid that I was going to miss you, that you wouldn't see me and you'd be gone. I ran out on the road in front of you. I should have been more careful.”

“Yes, you should've, and so should I. It's amazing how fast you get used to racing around on empty roads. I just learnt they might not be totally empty.”

“You might be right,” he grinned. “What's your prognosis, Doctor? Will I live?”

“I'm no doctor, but I think you might. You look pretty good to me, much better than you did. There's just one thing worries me a little – that leg doesn't look good at all. I don't think there's a fracture, I hope I'm not wrong. But it's swollen and that's some really bad bruising. Maybe you're bleeding on the inside. How does it feel to you?”

“It's, ah, I don't know. It's so swollen it is really, really tight and just numb. Everything feels tight.”

“Yeah?” She held his foot and bent and straightened his knee a couple of times. “No screaming, so it's not broken. In the bad old days, they would've put leeches on you to suck the blood out and release the pressure. I'm not sure if that did any good or not, but we can't try it anyway because the leeches will be all gone. We'll cut it if we have to.”

“I hope not!” he cringed. “Everything has gone, all the people, all the animals, everything!”

“Almost everything. If he ever finds his tongue again, Amos can fill you in on that. Do you think you can try eating something?”

His serious face lit-up with a smile. “I thought you'd never ask! I'm starving here.”

“Of course you are,” she nodded. “It's all part of the teenage condition, isn't it? All you kids think about is your bellies and what hangs off them.”

“No, it's not,” he mumbled and blushed as brightly as only a fair-skinned blond can blush.

“Oh but it is,” Esther grinned. “Amos, My Sweet, we need to get him, at least, semi-upright so he can eat and drink. We'll need pillows, lots of pillows to prop him up. Go get us 12 or 20 pillows from the other rooms.”

“I will. I'll do that.” Amos rushed out of the room.

“Gone quiet, hasn't he?” said Jeroboam. “I'm starting to think he's not happy to see me.”

“Don't you believe it!” Esther snorted. “He's not just happy, he's absolutely delighted to see you. He's been hanging out for you to wake up. Now you have, he doesn't know what to say and he's gone all whakama. You be nice to him.

Amos is a damm nice kid and he really likes you. You could very easily hurt him and, if you do you'll answer to me!”

“You think he likes me?”

“I know he does, he likes you a lot.”

“Could've fooled me. We used to be friends when we were little. He was my best friend ever. Then we got older and he didn't want to know me and always stayed as far away as he could.”

“He did, but not because he didn't like you, quite the opposite. What about you, do you still like him?”

“Oh yes, very much! It hurt when he left me, but I never stopped loving him. Since whatever it was happened, I've been searching everywhere for him. I came here, to Hebron, because I thought that anyone left would come here to the capital, but it's so big it's scary when you're all on your own! Now Amos is here, and that's good, I think.”

“Oh boy! You, Kid, and the Boy, need to talk. You need to talk a lot and be honest with it.”

“I will, I do, I do need to talk.”

“Good, good. I don't know how much you've figured out, as far as we know, we three may be the only people left in the world. There could be others, but we haven't found them yet. There's not many in any case. The old world, with all its rubbish, has gone and the old rules and laws don't apply anymore. The law is now what we say it is and everything is there for us to use. Remember that.”

“I suppose we could just keep the 10 Commandments, everyone said they are all the law a society needs.”

“Maybe, but a lot of them don't apply now. Like the one about not coveting your neighbour's ass, that's his donkey, not his arse. What donkey? What neighbour? Covet whatever you like, you can't steal, it belongs to no-one.”

“Oh. We might have to rewrite the Commandments!”

“That's not allowed – adding to or subtracting from the bible is expressly forbidden. Don't tell me you're another one who hasn't read the book for himself.”

“I won't tell you then.”

“Yeah? You're all right, Kid. You be nice to the Boy and everything will be sweet.”

“I, ah – yeah.”

Amos hurried back in with all the pillows he could carry, cutting their conversation short, and he stopped staring at the boy on the bed who stared back at him.

“All right then!”Esther took charge, again. Somebody had to and it obviously wasn't going to be either of these two young loons. She peeled the covers forward from his chest and shoulders. “Turn on to your back, Kid. I'm going to hold you under the shoulders and sit you up. If it hurts, say so! We don't want to damage you. Amos, you get behind him and pack the pillows in to support him.”

They got him upright with no protests and he sank back into the pillows, pale in the face and sweating a little, but he assured her that he felt fine.

“All right, as long as you're sure. I'm going to go and rustle-up some food. Anything you fancy?”

“Anything!”

“Yes, I thought so. Amos, you stay here. Give him a bottle of the food drink and, for goodness sake, talk to him! This is your friend, remember?”

She left and Amos silently offered the bottle, complete with a drinking straw. Jeroboam took it in his unbandaged hand, had a sip, and then paused and said, “I remember. It was a long time ago, but I remember when we were friends. Why did you turn away from me, Amos?”

“I had to. I didn't want to but I had to stop being around you.”

“But why did you?”

“It doesn't matter now, does it? Everything has changed.”

“You can say that again! So we can be friends now?”

“If you want to, we can..”

“Of course I want to, I've always wanted to and that hasn't changed. I love you.”

“You would. It's your Christian duty to love everyone.”

“Not everyone, just you and I don't think it's agape I'm feeling. Not totally anyway.” It's more like philos with a good helping of eros mixed in too.”

“Oh wow. You were paying attention in classes. You always were a good scholar, weren't you?”

“Oh yes, I was always the good little everything wasn't I? What a load of bull!”

“What? What do you mean? You were always perfect.”

“But I wasn't! It was an act, Amos. It was always an act and it was a lie.”

“A lie? You couldn't tell a lie.”

“Is that what you think? It was all a lie, my whole life was. I acted the good boy because I was scared not to and I didn't know what else to do. If you'd been with me, I might have been able to stand-up to them, but alone I couldn't do it.”

“Really??”

“Really. You have to believe me. For once in my life I'm telling the truth. We can do that now, we don't have to pretend anymore.”

“We really don't, do we? I have always pretended too. I think I've spent my whole life in a mild state of terror, always afraid of everybody and afraid to just be me.”

“We both have. Do you like me at all, Amos?”

“Like you? No, I don't. You are my better-than-a-brother and I love you. I always have and I always will and if that means I'm going to Hell, then I'm going to Hell.”

“I think we've already been to Hell. I think we were born and bred there. If God is like the Elders, then I don't want to go to the other place. If you love me, show me!”

“How can I show you I love you?”

“Kiss me.”

“You think I should?” Amos leant towards him.”

“I think you should.” Jeroboam cupped his hand behind his head, reeled him in and he kissed him. They embraced, carefully and gently, and cried on each other's shoulders.

They broke apart when Esther brought some food in, (omelettes). She said nothing, just grinned at their teary faces, offered the dishes, and then went back for her own.

Next time she came back, she said that she was pleased to see them sorting themselves out. She asked Jeroboam if he could cook, and when he said only very basically, she snorted and said that they were two of a kind! They agreed and said that they were, in many ways.

They sat and talked for a while, but not for long. Jeroboam was still tired and he needed sleep. He knew no more about what was going on than they did. Maybe the planet was fighting back against colonialisation in ways that they couldn't understand?

Jeroboam had woken-up one day and everyone had gone. Like Amos had, he went up to the top floor of the Community Building and was shocked at what he saw there. That was when he realised that he wasn't the only one who was living a lie. Maybe everybody was?

Elder Bethuel even had an album full of photographs of naked boys, mostly taken in the shower rooms. Had Amos seen that? No, he'd missed that one. Jeroboam said that there were photos of himself in there, and one of Amos – he'd pinched that one, it must be still in the car. Both boys grinned and blushed.

He knew that Amos had, for some reason, been sent to Elder Stephanas for correction and that he'd gone on retreat, so he stole a car and went to look for him. The Community always used the same lakeside resort town for their retreats, Engaddi, so that was where he went, but he found no trace of anyone there.

He figured that anyone living would probably head to Hebron, so he bought some food, (yes, he left money), and he'd came here looking for Amos. And here they all were!

“Indeed we are.” Esther stood up. “Unlikely survivors too, the three of us. It's time for bed. You can stay in here, Amos, but no talking! This Kid needs to sleep to recover, so you let him. If I hear any noise, I'll be back and I won't be happy!”