Westpoint Tales - The Last Time, 5

Andy was a bit hesitant at the kitchen door, but Justin steered him in. Most of the crowd had finished and gone anyway. Dee and Dianne were busy cleaning up and Kathleen was sitting at the table, drinking coffee with Connors.

“I think they’ve thrown your breakfast away, Justin. Hello Andy. I thought that it was you with him. You all right, are you?”

“Andy didn’t answer, so Justin did it for him. “He’s going to be fine. Andy has had a fight with Marty, and he’s going to be staying here with us for a while.”

“Oh, is he just? Have you had any breakfast, Boy? No? I’ll get you something then. Help yourself to the cereal, you know where it is.”

“Thank you, Gran.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart. Excuse me a minute, Connors.”

“Hello Connors,” Justin smiled. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going fine, Superboy. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m good. I’m always good. It’s not the same without you here though. Dee’s nearly as grumpy as Grandmother in the mornings.”

“Shut up, Justin,” came from both ends of the room.

A few minutes later, Justin was reading mail on the computer and Andy sat eating his breakfast, when Jeremy and Junior came bounding in.

“See you later, Grandmother. We’re going around to the Square to watch the girls’ hockey.”

“Goodbye then, Boys. I didn’t know that you were into hockey?”

“Yeah, of course we are. All the girls, long legs and short skirts, what’s not to like? Hey Dad, how’s it?”

“Hey Son. Hey Junior. Goodbye Boys.”

“’Bye Uncle. What are you doing here, Andy-Pandy? Are you coming with us?”

“No, not today. I’m staying here, with Justin.”

“Okay then. Suit yourself. See you when you get home.”

Andy heaved a sigh of relief when they left as quickly as they had come in. He glanced around at Justin who was grinning at him.

“It’s okay, Andy. Things are never as bad as you think they’re going to be.”

“So far anyway.”

Bob came in, stopped behind Andy and squeezed his shoulders. “Feeling better now? Good to see. You stick with Justin, he’ll look after you.”

He carried on and out of the back-door. Billy came in as he went out.

“Damm, it’s wet out there! There you are, Justin. I’ve got to go down to Brownsville today, with Claire. I’ll see you when we get back. Hello Andy.”

“See you then, Sunny. Why are you going to Brownsville with Claire?”

“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. It’s your birthday soon, isn’t it?”

Right! Go then. What are you waiting for? Andy’s staying here with me for a while.”

“Good for Andy. See you later.”

Billy left and Justin grinned again. “No problems, Andy. Everything’s sweet.”

“So far, yeah.” Andy nodded. “Here, it’s okay.”

“Of course it is. Now, I’m going around to see your mum and dad. You just wait here for me. You could get those wet clothes into the wash too.”

“All right, I guess. Thanks, Justin.”

“Welcome, my Friend. Stay here, don’t worry and I’ll be back soon.”

It was almost lunchtime, the rain hadn’t stopped and Justin hadn’t returned, when Marty came running into the kitchen.

“Hey, Gran! Where’s my brother?”

“Hello Marty. Junior’s with Jeremy. They went to watch the hockey at the Square.”

“No, not Junior, my other brother.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve got another brother, but, if you’re looking for Andy, I think that he’s up in Justin and Billy’s room.”

“Of course he’s my brother. I’ll go and look up there then. Thanks Gran.”

“All right then. Marty, no more fighting, okay?”

“Not if I can help it. Laters, Gran.”

He left in a hurry. Kathleen looked at Dee and shook her head. “I don’t know. The older I get the harder it is to keep up with these kids!”

“Tell me about it,” said Dee. “Looks like Justin’s been working his old magic.”

“I hope so, Dee. I hope so.”

Marty went up to the uncle’s room and walked straight in. Andy turned around from the computer.

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want, Martin?”

“What do I want? I want you. I’m sorry for yelling at you, Andy. When are you coming home?”

“Fuck you, Marty. This is my home now and I’m staying here.”

“No! You can’t! You’ve gotta come home, where you belong, with me.”

“With you? You told me to get out. You said that you hated me.”

“Well, I was wrong. I was wrong and I’m really sorry. I love you, Andy. Please come back. I need you and I can’t do this without you.”

“You never could. What about the other stuff?”

“Other stuff?”

“You know, about me sucking your dick? Why you yelled at me – why you hit me!”

“I really shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry. No excuses, but I was mad and I lost it – totally. I’m trying to fix this, Andy. Tell me that I haven’t stuffed up my life – our lives.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“Of course I don’t hate you. I fucking love you!”

“Okay. Prove it then.”

“Prove it? How? You can punch me if you want. I won’t stop you.”

“No, I don’t want to hit you.”

“Good! I’m pleased about that. Do you want me to suck yours?”

“No, I don’t want you to suck me. I shouldn’t have done that to you and I’m sorry too. I do love you, Marty.”

“Well good. And, no, you shouldn’t have done that, not without asking me first. I woke up and it felt like I was being raped.”

“Yeah, I know and I know that it was wrong. Sorry. But?? Are you saying that it would be all right if I asked you first?”

“Well, maybe. You’ll never know until you try.” Marty grinned for the first time.

“Oh, wow! Marty, if I come home with you, can I suck your dick?”

“I thought you’d never ask. Sure you can, but only if I can suck yours too.”

“You want to? Wow! Let’s go and do it then. But we’re not making a habit of it – just this once.”

“Yeah, just this once. This will be the last time.”

The boys hurried down the stairs. Both of them knew that another argument could blow up at any time and they didn’t want that! They passed Bob on the way out of the front door.

“’Bye Granddad,” Andy grinned. “I’m going home with my brother.”

“So I see and it’s good to see too. Boys, try to get through one day without squabbling.”

“Of course we will! See you, Granddad.”

They hurried off, down the main street, to their home at the ‘Beachhouse’, (which was a stupid name really; it was miles away from any beaches).

Bob went back to the kitchen to report that the war was over – for now.

Back at the Beachhouse, there were raised voices coming from the down-stairs lounge. Justin, Jonathan, Claudette and Lana were still talking, loudly.

“Shocking eh?” Marty grinned. “You’d think that brothers could get on better than that.”

“Shut up, Marty. It’ll be us that they’re talking about.”

“Oh, right! Come on upstairs quick, before they see that we’re here.”

They rushed up to their room, locked the door and fell, giggling, on a bed, together. They lay close, facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes. The giggles stopped and there was a moment of awkwardness.

“How are we going to go about this?” Andy asked.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well. It’s us, isn’t it? It’s a bit strange being here like this, with you.”

“Maybe. I think it’s just because this is something new – we’ve never done this before.”

“Dunno what we’ve been waiting for. You do still want to do it, don’t you?”

“Bloody oath I do! You?”

“Double bloody oath! Let’s just do it – whatever feels good.”

Their lips drifted together and they kissed. It was almost like kissing a mirror, but not quite – this was better – much better! Andy slid a hand forward, into Marty’s crutch, and he was hard. They both were.

“Oh, yes,” Marty breathed. “That feels good.” He did the same back to Andy.

They continued kissing deeply while their busy hands opened the clothes and fondled each other.

“Oh yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes! This is so good, Marty. We’re going to do everything, right?”

“You’ve got it. Well, almost everything. There’s no butt-fucking, but anything else that feels good.”

“No fucking? Why not?”

“Because we’re not. We can do anything else, but not that. I’m keeping that for when I’m with the one who I’ll be spending the rest of my life with.”

“Fair enough. No butt-fucking then, but everything else.”

“Yeah!”

They kissed again, and then kissed all around each other’s faces, grinning broadly. “This is just a bit of fun but we’re not making a habit of it. I’m still going to get me a boyfriend.”

“So am I. This is just, like, a practice.”

“It is. A fun time and the last time.”

“The last time. Best make the most of it then.”

And, they did.

They forgot about lunch, for once in their lives. They were far too busy to even think about it. However, in the late afternoon, they cleaned up and went down for dinner with the family. There was a limit to how long they could go without eating.

They weren’t allowed food of any description up in their room. That had been banned, way back, when they were 11 years old. Their mother had found a family of mice up there, living on scraps and left-overs. The boys thought that that was a good idea – having living garbage disposals. Their mother didn’t – “Disgusting creatures!” So, no more food and no more mice.

After dinner, they took care of some chores and then went to choir practice, at the Community Centre. Marty was an exceptionally good singer. Shades of his uncle Justin, perhaps? Andy was not so hot. He was average at best, but he was in the choir because Marty didn’t go anywhere without him.

On returning home, they had a bite of supper. Left-over pizza tastes better when it is re-heated. Justin came into the kitchen and looked at them sitting there together.

“Everything all right, Boys?”

“Yeah, thanks Uncle.”

“We’re sweet.”

“You are sweet, both of you, especially when you’re not fighting. Later Boys, stay good.”

“Laters, Justin. We will. Thanks.”

Justin left. Marty said, “He’s a good guy, is Justin.”

“He is a good guy. He’s the best uncle ever.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I never am.”

Yeah, right. Let’s go to bed.”

Back up in their room, they got undressed and climbed into bed in the dark. Or, as dark as it ever got with a street-light right below their window.

“Marty?”

“What?”

“Thanks for coming and getting me today.”

“Thanks for coming back.”

“I love you, Marty.”

“I love you too. Shut up and go to sleep.”

“Can I sleep with you?”

“In my bed? Yeah, okay. Come on then.”

Andy climbed in and cuddled up to his twin.

“No sex now. We’ve done that Go to sleep.”

“Couldn’t we – you know – just one more time?”

“One more time? Well, why not? But this is going to be the last time.”

“Oh yes! The last time.”

Westpoint Tales - The Last Time, 4

(Patience? what's that?)

Next morning, it was obvious that no-one would be going kayaking. The weather forecast was right for once and it was belting down out there.

The family were sitting eating breakfast in the warm kitchen of the Adelphi Hotel. Junior was there with them as he, Billy and Jeremy had arrived back late so he stayed the night, sleeping in the spare bed in Jeremy’s room.

Something out the back caught Bob’s eye and he sat looking out of the window.

“Yes, I thought so,” he nodded to himself and he got up and went out of the door into the driving rain.

In a couple of minutes he returned. “Justin, would you come out here for a minute please. There’s something I want to show you.”

Justin got up and followed him out. “Man! It’s wet out here. What’s up, Granddad?”

“He asked me not to tell anyone but you. Go and look in the garage.”

“In the garage? Okay, sure.”

Bob went back inside, to the warmth, Justin ran across the yard to the old garage. (It was more like a car-port really, it had no doors – they’d fallen off years ago and nobody thought it was worth the trouble, or expense, of putting them back on.)

At least there was no rain in the garage, but it was cold as the wind blew in one end and out of the other. There was a boy sitting huddled-up in the corner, on the floor.

“Oh? Who have we got here?” Justin knelt down in front of him.

The head came up and teary eyes looked at him.

“Andy! Andy, what the hell are you doing here Boy? Look at you, you’re sopping wet! You’re drenched to the skin. Come on inside out of this weather.”

“No, Justin, I can’t. I don’t want to see everybody, just you.”

“Just me? What are you talking about? They are just your family, Andy.”

“I can’t! Junior and Jeremy are in there. I don’t want them to see me like this.”

“Well you’re not sitting here freezing to death. Come with me, we’ll go up to my room. You can have a hot shower, I’ll get you some dry clothes and then you can tell me all about it.”

“Well. . “

“No arguments, Andy. Come on.”

Justin lifted him to his feet.

“I don’t know why you bloody kids can’t wear coats. Okay, I know that it’s not ‘cool’, but you’re freezing.”

He took him by the wrist and towed him inside, up the stairs and into his room.

“Strip off and get into the shower.” He turned the water on. “There’s towels on the rail there. Just drop your clothes on the floor, we’ll dry them later.”

Andy nodded and started stripping. Justin quickly pulled out some boxers, a t-shirt, a jersey, sweatpants and socks. He put them all on the seat inside the bathroom door.

“Clothes are on the stool here. I’ll be right back. I’ll just go and get us a hot drink.”

When he returned a few minutes later, with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, Andy was sitting quietly on the bed, dressed in the dry clothes.

“Okay Boy? I’ll bet that feels better.”

“Yes, it does. Thanks Uncle.”

“You’re welcome, my Friend – any time.”

Justin snibbed the lock on the door, and then handed a mug to the boy and sat down next to him.

“Right then. Now no-one comes in here until we let them in. I’m all yours. What’s the matter Andy?”

“I had a fight with Marty.”

“You don’t say? Should we get the paper to hold the presses? Andy, you and Marty always fight, it’s what you do.”

“Yeah, little fights, but this was a big one – really real. He hit me!”

“Okay, that’s going a bit far, but it’s not the first time.”

“He hates me! He said he hates me and he wishes that I was dead.”

“Marty doesn’t hate you.”

“He does. He hates me and I love him. I love him, Justin – really love him.”

“Of course you do. Your brother loves you too. How could he not? He’s your twin, your other half.”

“He hates me! He hates me and he wishes that I was dead.”

“Marty doesn’t hate you, he loves you.”

“Not any more. He told me to get out and don’t come back. He says that I’m a dirty queer and he doesn’t want to know me.”

“A dirty queer, are you? So what is Marty? A clean queer? He said that he’s gay too. What happened? Oh. I think I know already – you’ve been molesting your brother, haven’t you?”

“Well, umm, yes. I tried to, but he didn’t want to . . Oh, this is embarrassing” Andy mumbled and he hung his head.

“Hey!” Justin put his drink down and he wrapped his arms around the boy, hugging him tight. “Don’t be embarrassed. There’s no-one here but you and I and, I love you. You know that don’t you? I love you, Andy. I love you very much.”

“Oh Justin! Thank you. I love you too, I really do. You’re the greatest uncle ever.”

“Just for now, forget that I’m your uncle. I just want to be your friend, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I need a friend.”

“We all do. Now, what happened?”

“Umm. You won’t tell this to anybody, will you?”

“No, of course I wouldn’t.”

“Not even to Billy?”

“Not even to Billy. I promise you; whatever you say here will stay here.”

”Thank you, Justin.”

“Thank you for coming to me. Now, say it for goodness sake!”

“Umm, yeah. Well, I woke up this morning and Marty was still sleeping. He was uncovered. Well, it gets hot in our room, we’re up on the top floor.”

“Yes, I know you are.”

“Of course you do. Well, he was lying there, on his back, in nothing but his boxers, and he had, umm, a boner. I don’t know what made me do it, but, well, he just looked so good and I wanted to know what it was like. So, I, ah, I peeled his boxers down to his knees. I wrapped my fingers around his dick and held it, I lifted it up and, well, I kissed it.”

Andy stopped and looked shyly at Justin. Seeing no signs of disapproval, he continued.

“I kissed his dick, I licked it and then I started sucking him. I didn’t think he’d mind it that much. I wouldn’t. If I woke up and he was doing that to me, I wouldn’t be complaining. Anyway, he was still sleeping, but he was getting into it. He was jerking around and thrusting back. And then . .”

“He woke up?”

“Oh, yes! He woke up roaring. He jumped up off the bed and stood there screaming at me. He called me every filthy name that I’ve ever heard of and more.

He was so mad. I’ve never seen him so angry and he made me feel like a lump of dirt. He pulled me up, punched me in the guts and he told me to get the fuck out of his room and out of his life. He hates me and he never wants to see me again.”

Andy broke down in tears. Justin sat holding him, rubbing his back and rocking him while he cried along with him. “Oh, Andy. Oh, my Sweet Boy. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Thanks Justin.” He pulled himself together a bit. “I knew I could come to you. You wouldn’t throw me out, would you?”

“Of course I wouldn’t. I love you, Andy, and there is nothing that you could do that would ever stop me loving you. What you did was wrong, but it wasn’t that wrong. It was just a mistake. You read the signals wrong and went a bit too far.”

“Just a bit!” He shrugged with a wry grin. “Can I stay here with you? Please. I can’t go back there.”

“You can stay here as long as you like – as long as you have to.”

“Thank you! I can’t go back. He said that, if I ever do, he’s going to tell dad what I did and get me thrown out of the family, like Billy’s Uncle Jeremy was, and I can go and whore on the streets for a living.”

“That won’t be happening. Anyway, Jonathan would never do that. He’s no old bigot like Harvey Carver was, and he loves you.”

“Well, maybe. I hope so. But he wouldn’t understand like you do. I’d rather be here with you.”

“And you will be, for as long as you have to. Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out, but until we do, you stay here with us.”

“You think that Billy won’t mind?”

“Of course Billy won’t mind. He’ll be with us all the way.”

“”I hope so. Jeremy won’t like it though.”

“Jeremy will be fine, and, if he isn’t, well – tough! Jeremy’s not the boss around here, he just thinks he is.”

“He does!” Andy grinned again – a genuine smile this time. “But, what about Gran and Granddad? This is their hotel.”

“What about them? They’re your grandparents – your great-grandparents, and they love you just as much as I do.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

“I think nobody loves me as much as you do. Thank you, Justin. I love you too.”

“I should bloody-well hope so. Otherwise I’ve wasted an awful lot of loving over the years. Now, come on.” He handed him a box of tissues. “Clean yourself up and we’ll go down and get some food into that bottomless pit of yours. You’ll feel better then.”

“I do feel better. Thanks, Uncle.”

“You’re very welcome, my Lovely Boy. Now come on.”

Westpoint Tales - The Last Time, 3

With Justin carefully guiding and ushering them all the way, three abreast, they went out of the mouth of the river, circled around to the left, caught a wave and drove straight ahead to land gently on the flat sands of Carver’s Beach. They undid the skirts, stood up and out and carried the kayaks up away from the water.

“That was so cool!” Marty grinned. “Can we do it again?”

“”Oh yeah!” Andy agreed. “That was a buzz! Can we go out and ride in again?”

“In a few minutes. We’ll take a breather first. That was well done, Boys, you handled that like professionals.”

“We did, didn’t we?”

“This is so much fun. Why weren’t we doing it years ago?”

“Because you were too little. You’re still only 14.”

“Nearly 15. We’ll be 15 in a couple of weeks.”

“Oh yes! Don’t I know it?”

“You do? Have you bought our presents yet?”

“What did you get us?”

“A car would be nice.”

“I’m sure it would, but you’re not getting one. I thought maybe we’d give you both a big hug and a voucher for a meal at Billy’s Burgers.”

“That’d be nice, Uncle McScrooge.”

“Yes, thanks, you cheapskate!”

“I don’t have to buy your love, Boys. You know I love you without expensive gifts.”

“You’re right. We do know that.”

“We love you too.”

They sat on the beach, looking out to sea. The boys looked and nodded at each other. Marty took a deep breath.

“Justin, we’ve got something to tell you.”

“Yeah,” Andy leapt in. “Marty’s gay.”

“Oh?” Justin replied.

“Shut up, Big-mouth! But, yeah, Andy’s gay.” Marty said.

“Hold on a minute. You say that he’s gay and you say that he is?”

“That’s right. We’re both gay.”

“Both of you? Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we’re sure. I’m gay and so is Marty.”

“I see. Have you told your parents?”

“No, we haven’t told anyone, just you.”

“Just me? Well, thank you Boys. I’m honoured.”

“Well, we figured that you’d know what it’s like.”

“I certainly do! It’s not all good, but it’s not all bad either. So, how long have you known?”

“How long have we known that you’re gay? Forever really.”

“Shut it, Andy. Let’s try to have a serious conversation for once in your lives. So what now? Do you want me to come with you when you tell your mum and dad?”

“That might be a good idea. Thanks.”

“But not yet. There’s no point in upsetting everyone before anything has happened.”

“Before anything happens? Have you got any potential boy-friends yet? Either of you?”

“Nope.”

“Not a sausage.”

“Justin, how did you do it? How did you find Billy?”

“Yeah. And when did you know that he’d be the one you’d be sharing your life with?”

“How? When? Well, I really don’t know. The ‘how’ is easy. I wasn’t looking for anyone, but one day I just looked up and there he was – the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen, standing there shining in the sunshine.

But, ‘when’? I don’t know. I knew that that was what I wanted, but I didn’t think that it would ever happen. I just got lucky, I guess – very, very lucky. And, Jonathan helped too, of course.”

“Dad helped you find a boyfriend? We never knew that.”

“We didn’t! That’s awesome. Do you think he’ll do the same for us?”

“Doubt it!”

“No, Boys,” Justin smiled. “You’ve got it all wrong. It wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like then?”

“Yeah, what did he do?”

“He loved me.”

“Ewww! You and Dad?”

“Don’t, Andrew. Any more cracks like that and this conversation is finished.”

“Okay, sorry!”

“All right then. There’s a big difference between love and sex and if you don’t know that then you don’t know anything. Some people never learn the difference – the lucky ones do.”

“What did Dad actually do for you then?”

“Lots. I was dying, he saved me and then he wrapped himself around me and showed me that I could be loved.”

“That’s very cool. You make him sound like a hero.”

“Your dad is a hero, don’t you ever doubt it. None of us would be here now if it wasn’t for him.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“It is! You love your brother, don’t you, Justin?”

“Very much. I hope that you two love each other too. I really do.”

“Love Andy? I guess I do really.”

“Thanks, Marty.”

“And?”

“And, okay! I love you too – Dorkface.”

“Shut up, Dickwad.”

“You just can’t help yourselves, can you?” Justin grinned and shook his head. “Keep on loving your brother. Everything else grows from that. Someone said that he could move the world if he had a long-enough lever and a place to stand. Jonathan gave me a place to stand on. It’s that simple.”

“What was your lever then?”

“Dunno. I haven’t worked that part out yet. Anyway, this is not my life that we’re talking about, it’s yours. I know that you don’t think so, but you’re still very young. Kids go through these stages.

One day you might realise that this was just a passing thing and that you’re not gay at all.”

“That is not going to happen. No way!”

“For once, I totally agree. We are gay – end of argument.”

“Okay, okay, we’re not arguing. I’m just saying that it could happen.”

“Didn’t happen for you, did it?”

“No it didn’t – obviously. I wouldn’t want it to either.”

“Yeah? Well, neither would I.”

“Nor me.”

“Time will tell. At least you’ve got each other for support. Don’t stuff that up, Boys. Your relationship with your brother will always be one of the very most important in your life.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. And I mean it.”

“Okay. We’d still have you for support anyway.”

“Of course you would. You’ve got me, your parents, your grandparents and all of your family. You’re lucky kids.”

“We are lucky. Your family love you too, Justin. We love you.”

“We do! We love you heaps.”

“I love you too, both of you, very much. I always have and I always will. Now stand up and give me a hug and then we’ll get these boats back out in the water.”

They lined up the kayaks on the sand at the water’s edge, pointing back out to sea. They sat down in them, secured the splash-skirts again and, using their hands, hauled themselves forward into the water. When they were afloat, they took up the paddles and drove forward out through the small breaking waves. Easy!

Two more returns and landings on the beach, and then Justin decided that that was enough and they went back up the river. Back up at the top end of the wharves, they played around for a while and he showed them how to roll the kayaks over and get back upright again if they got swamped.

“I really should have shown you how to do that first, not last. Please don’t tell your mum that I did that. She’d freak and we wouldn’t be allowed out again. ‘Kay? Now it’s time to get out of here.”

“Justin, thanks for that, and we won’t tell if you don’t.”

“Thanks Uncle. When can we do it again? Tomorrow?”

“Well, maybe – we’ll see what the weather is like – the forecast is foul. Let’s go home, Boys.”

Westpoint Tales - The Last Time, 2

("Oh, very young one!")

Marty won the race and he spoke to their father on his cell. “Dad, can we come out now? We’ve been stuck in here for hours and we’re not fighting anymore.”

Andy chipped in, “Tell him that Uncle Justin’s waiting for us. We’re going kayaking.”

“Yeah, yeah. He heard that. Okay, thanks Dad. We’ll tell him. See you later”

Marty closed his phone and grinned at his brother. “It’s done; we’re out of here.”

“Cool. About time too. Who are we going to tell and what are we going to tell him?”

“We’re supposed to tell Justin to send us straight back here if we start fighting again.”

“Are we going to do that?”

“What do you think? Not likely! Come on, let’s go while the going’s good.”

They headed up the main street, to the Adelphi Hotel, and burst into the kitchen together.

“Hey.”

“Gran.”

“Where’s Uncle Justin?”

“We’re going kayaking with him.”

“Hello my Lovely Boys,” Kathleen replied. “Nice to see you too. Justin is up on the roof. Go and get him down and tell him to be careful.”

“Okay, sure. But, what’s he doing on the roof?”

“Just checking it out. We asked for a quote to paint it, but Mr. Squires says that he doesn’t know if it’s worth it, we’re going to need a new roof soon. You know Justin, he won’t spend a cent unless he has to. He can be quite mean sometimes.”

“Hey! No he’s not,” Marty protested. “Uncle’s always very generous to us.”

“Yeah,” Andy agreed. “He bought us the kayaks and all the gear to go with them. Justin is easier to get money out of than Dad is.”

“Okay, he’s not mean; not with people he loves. But he hates spending money on things. If we need a new roof, then we need one, it’s that simple.

He’s been up there for an hour. Tell him to get down. I don’t like him being up there. He’s far too clumsy to be clambering around on rooftops. He wouldn’t be doing it if Billy was at home.”

“Right. Where is Billy anyway?”

“He’s away, in Wellington, with Jeremy and Junior’s cricket team. Go and get Justin down, and tell him to be careful. Superboy he might be, but he can’t fly.”

“Okay, Gran. We’ll get him down and then you can stop worrying.”

“About the roof, yeah,” Marty grinned. “Then you can worry about him getting drowned – we’re going kayaking.”

“I don’t worry about him in a kayak, he can handle that. It’s just heights that he’s no good at. And, Boys, if you’re going out on the water, you make sure that you’re wearing your lifejackets.”

“No worries, Gran. Justin wouldn’t let us go without them.”

“Well that’s good. It’s a pity that he doesn’t worry a bit less about other people and more about himself.”

“Are you saying that he shouldn’t worry about us, Gran?”

“Like that’s going to happen! Anyway, Justin doesn’t have to worry about himself, he’s got you to do that for him.”

“Get out of here, you Scamps! Go and get your uncle off the roof.”

“See you later, Gran.”

“Goodbye Boys. Have fun and be careful out there.”

“We will. ‘Bye Dee.”

“What’s that?” Dee looked around from the kitchen computer where she was working. “Oh. Hello Boys, goodbye Boys.”

“Laters, Dee.”

Marty followed Andy out of the back door. “It’s no wonder that old Connors retired. She could never handle cooking with a computer.”

“Go on. It’s easy – even Justin can do it.”

“Yeah, and if he can, anyone can do it.”

Out the back of the hotel, there was a long, extended, aluminium ladder running up to the 2nd storey roof.

“Whoah. That’s a long way up!” Marty looked up the length of the ladder. “You stay here and I’ll go and get him.”

“Why can’t I come up too?”

“Because you’re clumsy enough to fall off the bloody roof. Don’t try to deny it, you know that’s true. Gran thinks that Justin is clumsy; she should take a good look at you. You stay down here and I’ll go.”

Marty started up the ladder. He stopped and looked down at his brother. “Just stay there and hold it steady, and no looking up the legs of my shorts.”

“Why would I bother,” Andy grinned. “What you’ve got up there is exactly the same as what I’ve got – exactly!”

“Maybe that’s because we’re identical twins. Don’t look anyway.”

“Identical twins? Are we really?”

“Shut up, Andy.”

Marty had only gone a few steps up the ladder when Andy exclaimed, “Eww! You’ve got no undies on. Ya dirty bugger!”

He grinned back down. “Going ‘commando’, it’s a hot day. And stop looking!”

Justin’s face appeared at the top of the ladder. “Hello Boys. What are you arguing about now?”

“Hey.”

“Uncle.”

“Gran says to get down before you fall down.”

“Okay, I’m coming. Get down off the ladder, Marty.”

Marty returned to the ground and they both stood holding the ladder while Justin made his way down. At the bottom, he glanced back up.

“Whoah! That’s a long way down.”

“Uncle Justin, how did you know it was me on the ladder? You always know which one of us is which. Most people don’t, but you always do.”

“I dunno, Marty. I just know. I’ve known you boys since the day you were born – before that even. We used to watch the pair of you on the CT scans. You were fighting each other even then.”

“That’s because I’ve got a dork for a brother.”

“Yeah, you have, an identical dork.”

“Shut it, Dorkface.”

“That’s intelligent, Twin-dork!”

“Okay, okay. Enough! Sometimes you two make me glad that there’s only one Jeremy. Are we going to try these kayaks out?”

“We were hoping to – it’s a great day for it.”

“It is that. Come on then, we’ll get them out of the shed.”

“Justin!” Kathleen called from the kitchen window. “It’s about time you got down. You watch those boys out on the water. Don’t let them go drowning themselves.”

“We love you too, Grandmother. Stop worrying!”

“Worrying is what I do. You all be careful and make sure that they wear their lifejackets.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t let them go without them.”

“See that you don’t, and you wear yours too!” The window slammed shut.

“Ah, Grandmother, no wonder you’ve got gray hair. Come on, Boys, let’s do it.”

They pulled the three kayaks out from the shed behind the garage – Marty and Andy’s brand-new ones and Justin’s older and slightly battered one. Paddles, life-jackets and helmets were checked and placed in the kayaks, and then they took one each and carried them across the railway yard to the riverbank.

Once there, they buckled the jackets and helmets on and Justin showed the boys how to step into the splash-skirt and pull it up to fasten it around the waist. He put his own one on first and stood waiting while they wise-cracked and fell about laughing at him.

“Oh! You look so cute, Uncle, standing there in your tutu.”

“Yeah, give us a twirl! Can you do a ‘pas de deux’?”

“Shut up, you pair of dorks! Come on, get your skirts on and we’ll get going.”

“I don’t know if this is my colour really. Does it clash with my eyes?”

“Sure it does, Darlin’; it suits you – real manly.”

“Come on, Boys. Are we doing this or not?”

“Okay, we’re coming.”

They put their splash-skirts on, sat the kayaks in the water and stepped into them, fastening the skirts around the lip at the top of the opening. Taking up their paddles, they pushed out onto the river.

“Are you going to show us how to roll them over?”

“We’ll leave that for later. Everything is really calm today. I thought we’d go out of the river-mouth and back around to land on Carver’s Beach.”

“Sounds good.”

There were no boats in at all. They made their way down alongside the old wharves, below the Harbourmaster’s office, and past the entrance to the fishermen’s lagoon.

Marty and Andy drifted along with the sluggish current, admiring the views and enjoying the sunshine on the river. Justin was way ahead of them; he looked back and then circled back around to them.

“Come on, Girls. Get a move on. If you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.”

Marty poked his tongue out at him, and then he glanced across at his brother and grinned.

“I say, I say, I say, Andy, and what do you call a man with a one-inch dick?”

Andy, who knew exactly what he was going to say, po-faced, replied, “I do not know, Marty. What do you call a man with a one-inch dick?”

They both looked at their uncle and answered together, “Just – in!” They burst out laughing.

Justin tried not to grin. He used his paddle to flick water at one and then at the other.

“Oh, that’s mean! You’re dead, Girls. You are so dead.”

“Hah!” Marty laughed. “Maybe we should ask Billy if that’s true?”

“Yeah, he’d know,” Andy agreed.

“None of your business, you cheeky little sods!” Justin laughed. “You’re not too big for me to put you both across my knees and spank you. Well, yes you are actually, but I could still boot your backsides for you.”

“You’ve never booted our backsides in our lives, Uncle.”

“Yeah, you love us really.”

“I do love you – not sure why, but I do – Little Shits! Come on, Boys, we haven’t got all day.”

Westpoint Tales - The Last Time 1.

(Finally! (Hey Joah) We're back! - for a short while)

(Westpoint AD2020)

“Marty, I’m gay.”

“No shit. What else is new?”

“What? Is that it? Aren’t you going to say something?”

“What do you want? Don’t think I’m going to kiss you, ‘cause I’m not – no way!”

“Why not? Aren’t you lusting for my luscious lips?”

“Get off! I’d say ‘kiss my arse’, but I’d better not – you might.”

“That smelly thing? I don’t think so.”

“I don’t think so too. I’m not kissing you either, so forget it.”

“Wasn’t even thinking about it. What would you want to kiss my butt for?”

“I don’t. Not now, not ever. Forget it.”

“Right. Why aren’t you surprised that I’m gay? I’ve never told you before.”

“Yeah, you have. You’ve told me that a hundred times.”

“Whatta you mean? I have not. When have I ever told you that?”

“A hundred times, at least, maybe more.”

“When then?”

“Like every time we were in the bath together and you get a ‘stiffy’. You always did, ever since we were little kids.”

“And that means I’m gay, does it? Well, you always got boners too. Junior never did, but you always did, just like I did.”

“Yeah, just like you did.”

“Oh shit! Does that mean that you’re gay too?”

“Well, duh!”

“Damm! I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Pretty obvious, I thought. No big deal anyway.”

“It is a big deal. And, obvious? I’m not a friggin’ mind-reader you know.”

“That’s obvious too.”

“Yeah? Well, fuck you!”

“Fuck me? No, I don’t think so.”

“You must have figured that I wasn’t getting the message. Why didn’t you say something?”

“I just did.”

“About time too. If you can’t tell me, who are you going to tell?”

“I dunno. Mum and Dad, I suppose, or the uncles, or Gran. Anyone but you really.”

“Oh nice! Anyone but me? Why not then? Scared of me, are you?”

“Scared of you? Get real. When have I ever been scared of you? More like the other way around.”

“You think I’m scared of you? Fuck off. You’re about as scary as Carmel’s new kitten.”

“Well, you’re about as scary as Carmel.”

“As Carmel? Newsflash, Andy – our baby sister is not scary at all.”

“She is when she shits herself.”

“Well, okay, maybe then – but only if Mum or Gran or someone is not around to clean her up.”

“Or Dad. He does it sometimes.”

“Only when he can’t get out of it. Dad says that changing your diapers was enough to put him off for life. You were a shocker – a major stinker. Still are really.”

“Like yours doesn’t stink?”

“You’ll never know.”

“Bloody hope not.”

“Yeah, me too. Andy?”

“Yeah, what, Stinkbutt?”

“I love you, Andy.”

“Sure you do. Funny way of showing it sometimes.”

“Well, sometimes you make it hard.”

“Ewww! Pervert.”

“Fuck up, Dickwad. Not my dick. You make it hard to love you sometimes.”

“And so do you.”

“Do you love me, Andy?”

“Of course I bloody love you. You’re my brother, aren’t you?”

“Not my fault.”

“Not mine either, but, yeah, I do love you – sometimes.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“After you, Brother. You shut the fuck up and I will.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

The identical twin brothers lay on their identical twin beds, looking up at the ceiling of their room.

They could easily have had separate rooms, and they would have preferred it too, but they were stuck in there together. It wasn’t like there weren’t enough rooms; they lived in ‘the Beachhouse’, which used to be a hotel, for goodness sake.

But, the parents made them share a room, they always had. The idea was to make them learn to get along together – wasn’t working though. Well, not much.

Andy glanced across at his brother and grinned when he saw him looking back at him. “So, have you got a boyfriend?”

“No. Have you?”

“Not yet, but I’m getting me one.”

“Me too! Who have you got your eye on then?”

“None of your business. I’m not sharing my love-life with you.”

“Fair enough. I’m not sharing mine with you either. But we should at least know who we’re going after.”

“Why? I’m not sharing anything with you.”

“That’s the whole point. I don’t want to share boyfriends with you. What if we’ve both got an eye on the same guy? That’d be just – messy.”

“For once, you’re right. Eww.”

“I’m always right and I’m not wrong now. We need to at least compare notes so that we don’t get involved with the wrong people.”

“We do. So, you first – who do you like?”

“Don’t know. There’s no-one special. What about you? Not Jeremy, I hope.”

“Cousin Jeremy? Not bloody likely! I hope you’re not either.”

“Get with Jeremy? No way! That’d be a sure way of getting turfed out of the family. His fathers would have canaries; they’d never handle that.”

“I don’t see why. After all, they’re gay themselves.”

“You think? Does that mean that they haven’t been sharing a bed for the last fifteen years just to save space?”

“Shut the fuck up, Marty! You can be such a smart-arse sometimes. Of course Justin and Billy are an old married couple; everyone knows that. Why do you think that they couldn’t handle their boy being gay?’

“Because they couldn’t. Jeremy’s their only chance of ever having grandchildren, isn’t he? That won’t be an issue with Dad; he’s got plenty of other kids - three more with Mum and four with Lana.”

“Oh, so that’s why all those kids keep hanging around here?”

“Shut up, Andy. Jeremy’s not gay anyway, I tried copping a feel once and he told me. “

“That he’d punch your lights out if you ever tried that again. I know, he told me the same thing when I did it.”

“So you’ve been groping our cousin?”

“Yeah, once – the same as you. Nothing wrong with feeling up cousins, it’s not like we’re going to have babies or anything. Joe didn’t mind when I tried it with him.”

“Joe? Joe Storer? Shit, Andy, Granddad Storer would kill you if you got it on with Joe.”

“He probably would. Funny, isn’t it? Granddad’s so bloody homophobic and he’s got at least two gay grandsons, maybe three.”

“Yeah.! Serves him right, the old sod.”

For once in their lives, they were in total agreement and they lay there smiling smugly. The twins’ maternal grandfather was a notorious old bigot. The irony was quite sweet really.

Finally, Andy broke the silence. “So, shall we see if we’re allowed out of here yet?”

“Sure. But let’s ask Dad, not Mum. He’s a much softer touch than she is.”

“You think they’ll be okay with us being gay?”

“Yes, of course they will. They’ve had lots of practice with the uncles and all.”

“Yeah. But let’s not tell them just yet, when we’ve got partners will be soon enough.”