An Experiment

(Brushing the cobwebs away & hoping i can remember how to do this - here's an Experiment)

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I dunno. What do you think I should do?”

“I think you should go see a doctor, or something.”

“A doctor? What for? I’m not sick, I’m just gay.”

“Just gay? There’s no ‘just’ about it. It’s a pretty big deal you know – a really big deal. What would you want to be gay for?”

“Who said I wanted to? Who would ever want to be gay? I never asked for it. I just am.”

“You just are. This is a joke, right? You’re not gay.”

“I bloody am!”

“You bloody are not! Come on, Man, I’ve known you since forever. I can’t ever remember not knowing you. I’ve never seen you do anything gay. What makes you think that you are?”

“You know that new kid in town, Barry Saunders? He makes me think that I am.”

“Barry Saunders? What’s that little shit done? Did he rape you or something?”

“What? No!!! But . . I kinda wish that he would.”

“Ewww! You do not. That’s so gay! Damm! You are, aren’t you?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you – I’m gay.”

“Yeah. What about me then? You ever think about doing that stuff with me?”

“With you? No thanks.”

“I wasn’t offering. But, why not anyway? I’m not ugly.”

“Yeah you are. You’re gross and you’re a dork.”

“Well, thanks! Looked in a mirror lately? You know what they say about birds of a feather flying together, well, we do. We’ve always hung out together.”

“Yeah, we have. Thanks. Okay, you’re not ugly, I’ve just never thought about you like that. You’re my mate, my best mate, but I haven’t got the hots for you. No way.”

“So you don’t want to kiss me all over my hot, sexy body? Good job too, ‘cause you’re not going to. I’m keeping it for the ladies.”

“The ladies? In your dreams!”

“They always are. I hope I’m not in yours.”

“You in my dreams? Not likely!”

“But Barry Saunders is? Eww!”

“There’s no ‘eww’ about it. He’s a cool kid. He’s cute and . . . I dunno, I just think he’s sexy. I really like him.”

“He’s sexy and you really like him. That’s so gay.

“Maybe it is.”

“It is! You’ve never talked like this before. What about Sandra then?”

“What about her?”

“Sandra’s really hot. I’d give her one. I would, but I never have, I’ve never even tried to and, do you know why? Because she’s your bloody girlfriend, that’s why.”

“Sandra’s not my girlfriend.”

“She thinks she is, doesn’t she?”

“No she doesn’t. We’re just friends – good friends. Not as good as you and me though.”

“Well, of course not! I’m the best.”

“You are. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.

“I am! You’re so lucky! Luckier than me, all I’ve got for a best mate is you.”

“I’m not that lucky. Well, yeah, I am really. You’re a good mate – always have been.”

“Aaaah! You’re pretty cool too – for a gay-boy.”

“Know a lot of gay-boys, do you?”

“No. I don’t know any. Or, I thought I didn’t – looks like I was wrong there.”

“You often are.”

“Am not! Shut up, Dork!”

“Takes one to know one, and – “I wasn’t shut-up, I was brought-up.”

“And when I look at you, I throw-up.”

“And then your mother comes along and licks it up.”

“Eww! You’d better not let my mum hear you say that, she’d kick your arse.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time. She’s kicked my arse a few times over the years.”

“Only when you needed it. Anyway, your mum’s done the same to me.”

“You always need it. You think they got together and planned that? – “You kick my one’s arse and I’ll kick your one’s”.”

“Probably. Mothers are like that – really cunning. Well, ours are anyway.”

“They are! But, they’d say that they have to be.”

“They would.”

“Anywho. That’s enough lying around in the sun. Much more of this and we’ll be getting burnt again. You want another swim, or shall we just go home?”

“Let’s go home. Time we got something to eat.”

“Sounds good. What do gay-boys eat anyway? Pink stuff, I suppose.”

“Shut up! They do not. I dunno, I just eat what I always have – same as you – anything and everything.”

“Still sounds good. There’s limits though. Some things I wouldn’t eat – like, you.”

“Eat me? Not a chance! We’ve already agreed on that.”

“No we didn’t. I said you’re not eating me, not the other way around.”

“You’re not anyway. Told you – I’m not interested in you like that.”

“My feelings could get hurt here – only gay-boy I know and he doesn’t want me.”

“I can’t fucking win, can I? You don’t want me to want you and then you get all hurt when I don’t anyway. You’re bloody impossible!”

“My name’s not Impossible – it’s Hayes, Clint Hayes.

“Hayes, Clint Hayes. You’ve been watching too many old James Bond movies. Got a licence to kill, have you?”

“Licence to thrill, maybe. Oh, damm! Speaking of which, here comes that bloody Katie Gray. Let’s go back up this way and avoid the silly little girls.”

“No arguments there. But, if you’re the straight one, shouldn’t you be running towards the girls, not away from them? You could score there.”

“Shut up! I like girls, just not those ones. Silly little cow’s always had a crush on me. Come on up the bank through the trees here. We can get back on the track up at the top.”

“Right. I do know where the track goes, you know. I’ve lived around here for as long as you have.”

“No you haven’t. I’m older than you are.”

“By two months you are. Big deal! Want me to give you a hand up here, Old Boy?”

“I think I can manage, Junior. Get your butt out of my face. I don’t want to smell that thing.”

“You’re the one shoving your nose up against it.”

“Actually you know, your legs are not that different to a girl’s really. You’ve got nice legs.”

“Get off! I’m not a girl; I’m a boy!”

“Yeah, a gayboy. I didn’t say that you were a girl; I said that your legs are like a girl’s, kind of. Maybe they’re a bit thinner. Most girls have got fat legs, especially around the thighs. Your’s aren’t – they’re just long and thin – all golden and hairless too. You’ve got no hairs at all on your legs. Got any around your dick yet?”

“Shut up! None of your business. What are you looking at my legs for?”

“I can’t help it, can I? They’re right in my bloody face!”

“Not my fault. Do you want to swap places with me?”

“And have you perving at my legs? No, I’ll just stay here.”

“And perve at mine? Enjoy the show then.”

“I am. Actually, umm . . when we get back to my place, there won’t be anybody at home. Do you want to – umm – try an experiment, maybe?”

“An experiment? What experiment? What are you talking about, Clint?”

“You know. I just thought . . . maybe . . . we could try . . . well, do you want to suck my dick?”

“What?? Are you serious? Me, suck your dick?”

“Yeah, I’m serious. Why not anyway? A blow-job’s a blow-job. I’ve never had one. They say that they’re awesome, and, I do like you – I could trust you with the ‘family jewels’. So . . . do you want to?”

“Seriously? Really?? Yeah, all right, we could do that, but you have to suck mine as well. I want to know what a blow-job’s like too. We could ‘69’, that’s, like, both doing it at the same time.”

“Yeah, okay. We’ll try that, just you and me – as an experiment.”

“All right – just us. An experiment.”

Flight of the Kiwi

Westpoint Tales - the Lost Years, 11 (final)

“Look, come in here and sit down.”

Billy ushered everyone into their room. Bryce and Robbie sat on the chairs, Billy sat on a window ledge and Justin and Conrad on the bed.

“Okay, thanks Billy, that’s better. Now let’s talk. First of all you can stop calling me Superboy. I’m not Superboy, I’m Justin. Okay?”

“Okay, Justin. But what am I going to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“To do? I don’t know. I don’t know. I just want to love Nicholas, that’s all I know. I want to, but I can’t! She scares me, his mother, she bloody terrifies me and she hates me!”

“Yeah, she scares me too. But forget about her for a minute, let’s talk about Nicholas. You want to love him. You want to bend him over a bed and fuck him, do you?”

“Justin!” Red-faced, Conrad leapt to his feet and glared down at him. “Don’t be disgusting! Fuck you, Superboy! I’m outta here.”

“Oh no you’re not.” Justin stood, put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down again. “You came here to talk, so talk to me and no bullshit. Do you want to fuck Nicholas or not?”

“No! I don’t want to fuck Nicholas!” Conrad snapped. He was getting mad.

“Good! I didn’t think that you did actually. So, what do you want?”

“Want? I want . . .I want . . to be with him, to hold him and love him. I want to talk with him and be his friend and enjoy him. I love him.”

“Being his friend is good – very good. Do you want to make love to him?”

“Damm! You’re blunt. I don’t know. Yes, I do! I want to love him totally, if he wants to. I want to give him all of me, if he wants it, one day.”

“Oh he wants it. That much we do know. Nicholas loves you, Conrad. He’s a sweet, gentle boy and he loves you. Don’t you ever hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him. I never would. I couldn’t. I love him, but I can’t! I can’t get near him, there’s his mother. She hates me.”

“Oh yes, there’s his mother all right. We’ve got a problem there. But there’s a couple of things that you’ve got to understand. She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t know you. She loves Nicholas, in her own way, and she’s trying to protect him. She’s been doing it for all of his life. Nicholas is a gentle, vulnerable boy and he’d be so easily hurt.

Donna Awatere-Jones is not so bad really. She drinks too much, she’s confused and she’s way too emotional, but she’s just a frightened little lady, all on her own, and she loves her boy. Somehow, we’ve got to show her that you’re not a threat, that you love him too and want to make him happy.”

“You can do that?”

“”I don’t know, but we’re going to try. I’ve already convinced her that I’m not a threat and that I’ll help protect him. And, Conrad, get this very, very straight. I WILL protect him.

I like you. I like what I see, a lot, but if you ever, knowingly, hurt that boy, you won’t have to worry about his mother. I, personally, will make you wish that you’d never been born. And that’s a promise!”

“Whoah. You’re right – she’s not so scary at all. Now I’d really be scared, but I’m not. I’ve got nothing to be afraid of because I wouldn’t hurt him. Thank you, Justin. You’re a good friend.”

“He is!” said Billy. “Justin’s the best friend that anyone could have. I think you can rest assured that he’s on your side too.”

“Oh, but I am!” Justin grinned. “You’re great, Conrad. I see what Nicholas sees in you. I think I’m going to love you too. Gimme a hug!”

Conrad hugged him, hard and long. “Thank you Justin. I feel much better now. Nothing’s changed but I’m so glad that you’re on our side. I don’t care what you say, you ARE Superboy. There’s no-one like you and I love you too.”

“Right!” said Billy getting to his feet. “Enough for one night. It’s getting late. Life goes on tomorrow and we’ve all got jobs to go to. Besides which, our boy’s in the next room, storing up energy for the morning. Go home, go to bed and don’t worry, things will turn out all right. We’re all on your side. Now, go away.”

Driving home to Carvers’ Beach, Bryce said, “Conrad, I’m sorry about your problems, but I can’t tell you how delighted we are to see you coming out of your shell. It’s worth it, Boy, it really is. People are not meant to live alone, we’re not designed that way.”

“Thanks Bryce, but I don’t live alone. I live with you guys.”

“You do, and that’s good but that’s, mostly, just physically, in the same house. I’m talking about living alone emotionally. You need a mate.”

“I do! I’ve found him too. I want what you and Robbie have got.”

“That’s good. That’s really good, but sometimes you have to fight for what you want. Do you know how we first got together?”

“Yeah, of course I do. You started by playing dedications to each other on the Toucan’s show.”

“We did, but there’s more to it than that. I still had to fight for what I wanted.”

“No you didn’t. Your families were all wonderfully accepting of you, you didn’t have to fight them. Oh, you mean that preacher guy, don’t you? But you two didn’t fight him, you just folded up and Robbie’s dad stood up for you both.”

“He did, and that was great, but I still had to fight.”

“Who then? Not your families, not the church guy, who did you have to fight?”

“Robbie.”

“Robbie? But Robbie loved you before he even spoke to you.”

“He did, and that was the problem. He wouldn’t talk to me. He ran away every time I looked at him. At least you know that’s not going to happen to you.”

“Apparently not. But, what did you do about it then?”

“I caught him. I literally caught him. He was standing on the beach one day; I ran up behind him, grabbed him and held him until he settled down.”

“You did? Wow. And then what did you do?”

“I kissed him, and then I kissed him again.”

“And you lived happily ever after?”

“So far, yeah,” Robbie agreed. “Everyone has a different story. All Bryce is saying is that you have to fight for what you want, your own battles in your own way.”

“I’m going to. I already am. Nicholas’ mum, is too much for me but, hey! We’ve got Superboy on our side. We can’t lose.”

“We hope so, we really hope so. Justin will try, but he’s not perfect you know. We’re all on your side, Conrad.”

“Yeah, and that’s good too. Thanks Guys.”

Kathleen took Jeremy to pre-school the next day. It was normally Justin’s day, but he was busy. She wasn’t complaining. And, she’d get to see the other grandchildren as well. She did love the little ones, all of them, but she was glad that she wasn’t responsible for their full-time care. Too much was too much.

Conrad thought a lot about what Justin had said. Mrs. Awatere-Jones loved her boy and was only trying to protect him. But Nicholas didn’t need protecting from him. No way! There was no way that he would ever hurt Nikita. How was he going to make her see that they were on the same side? Could anyone? Could even Superboy do that?

Bryce and Robbie said that he had to fight his own battles. But could he? The woman bloody terrified him. Was being with Nicholas worth it? Well, was it? He didn’t know.

He drove to school next morning and parked, in his usual place, in the street outside. Nicholas was there waiting for him and looking worried.

“Hey Nikita,” he greeted him with a smile. This poor kid did not deserve his worries.

“Conra-a-a-d!” A big grin spread across his face. “I was waiting for you. I’m really sorry about my mother. Are we still going to be friends?”

“Sure we are,” Conrad grinned back. “We ARE going to be friends and no-one’s going to stop us.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that you wouldn’t want to know me now. I like being your friend, Conrad. I like you.”

“”I like you too, Nikita. I like you very much. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but we are going to be together. We will, I promise.”

“Big words!”

They both swung around. Nicholas’ sister, Jo-Anne was standing there watching them.

“I thought that he might have been waiting here for you, so I waited too. You say you’re going to be together, you and Nicky?”

“We are. Somehow, someday, we are going to be together.”

“That might be easier said than done.”

“Oh, I know that,” Conrad sighed. “But we will.”

“Yeah? Look, Mr. Seeker, my little brother loves you, he adores you and he thinks that the sun rises and sets in your direction. You fuck with him and I’ll fucking kill you!”

“I wouldn’t hurt him! I wouldn’t do that. Why does everyone keep thinking that I will?”

“Who keeps thinking that you will?”

“Everybody. Superboy said the same thing. Well, he said that he’d make me wish that I’d never been born, but he meant the same thing.”

“Yeah, he’d do that. Good for Superboy, but he won’t have to worry, you’ll already be dead. I’ll see to it. Look, Kid, my little brother’s a gorgeous boy. He’s a bit slow, but he gets there in the end. He’s got a beautiful soul, he’s soft and gentle and he’s totally in love with you – has been for years.

You could so easily hurt him. One word, one wrong look and you could destroy him.”

“I won’t! Dammit. I won’t hurt him. Not now, not ever. I love him. I bloody love him!”

“For real? The Seeker loves the Dummy?”

“No. Conrad loves Nicholas. Don’t call him the Dummy, he isn’t.”

“No, he’s not. That your car?”

“Yes, it’s my car. What of it?”

“You’ve got petrol in it? Right then. You get back in your car, take Nicholas and bugger off for the day. Just the two of you, go and get lost somewhere out of town. Don’t come back until school’s out.”

“You really think we should?”

“I really think you should. Just do it.”

“But, what about school?”

“Forget about school. They’ll survive a day without you. What’s more important, a day together or one more day in school?”

“More important?” He turned around and grinned. “Nikita, let’s get in the car. Thanks, Jo-Anne.”

“Shut up and drive.”

They left at speed, up Derby Street to turn north and head away out of town. Jo-Anne watched them go and then she thought, ‘Bugger it, I’m not going to school either.’

She went home to talk to her mother, but when she got there, Superboy his brother, Jonathan, and Billy were already there. She listened, for a minute, to what they were talking about and then went in to join the conversation.

Conrad drove up Brigham Street and passed the intersection with Eastman’s Road without looking down there for fear of what he might see. They went north, out of town, across the bridge over the Williamson River, past the cemetery and away up country.

They went along in silence, not speaking a word, through Fairfield, through Waimari and Ngakawau. Partway to Seddon, there was a narrow graveled road alongside the small Snowy River, (which was just a creek really). He turned off there and drove up through the tree-lined road along the river-bank.

There was a small, sun-washed, clearing with a grassy bank between the road and the bubbling stream. He parked off the road, turned off the engine and the silence was deafening.

“This is a nice place,” Nicholas smiled.

“It is. I came here once with my dad, fishing. We didn’t catch any, but it’s a nice place. Plus, it’s private. You can hear any cars coming from miles away. We’ll get the blanket out of the back and sit down by the river.”

They spread the tartan rug on the grass at the edge of the bank and sat watching the water. Conrad threw out a stick and watched it float away.

“Conrad, what are we doing here?”

“We’re having a day off. Enjoying the sunshine and spending some time together.”

“That’s good. You told Jo-Anne that you love me.”

“I did. I did and I do. I did tell her and I do love you.”

“I love you, Conrad. I have always loved you, since forever.”

“Yeah! So I’m told. I wish I’d known that a long time ago.”

“You know now. Are you going to kiss me?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

“Hell yes!”

So, he did.

A kiss is such a simple thing. Two heads, two pairs of lips coming together. Conrad had never kissed anyone, apart from family and that was a long time ago. This was different. Wow! Was it different!

They melted into each other. Their clothes were lost and they delighted in each other’s naked bodies.

Hours later, they sat, still naked, and ate their school lunches washed down with water from the creek – well, it was clean. Conrad sat and smiled at the boy next to him. Clothed he was good-looking, but naked he was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Nicholas was warm and loving, accepting and giving. He was adventurous and he was hot! He was a sex machine. Nicholas made love with his whole body and he gave it his total, 100%, attention; this boy was made for loving!

Conrad was surprised – surprised, amazed, astounded and absolutely delighted. He’d never imagined that anything could be so good and he never wanted this day to end. If he thought he loved him before, he was wrong. Now he loved him. He was totally and completely, 100%, over the top and head over heels in love with this boy. Totally!

Even the best of days must end and, at 2.30pm, they cleaned up, dressed and headed back into town. Nicholas sat smiling widely. Actually, the smile hadn’t left his face all day, except for – well, you know when!

Conrad drove, glancing at him and smiling himself. This was so good! His life, their lives, should always be this good. A frown flicked over his face when he thought about what might be waiting for them in town. Would anyone know where they’d been? Would SHE know?

No! Fuck it. He didn’t care. He loved this boy and he didn’t care who knew it. He didn’t care if SHE knew it. He loved Nicholas and he was going to be with him – he’d fight for the right to be with him. He’d even fight HER. He would.

Back in town, in Brigham Street and approaching Eastman’s Road, Nicholas broke the silence. “Maybe you’d better stop here and I will walk home.”

Conrad kept going. “No, I don’t think so.”

He went around the corner into Eastman’s Road, drove up to Nicholas’ home and stopped there.

“Thank you, Conrad. I’ll go inside now.” Nicholas shot out of the car.

“We’ll both go inside.” Conrad got out as well.

“Are you sure? She’ll kill you.”

“I don’t care. Nikita, I love you. I love you and you love me. Your mother has to know that, she just has to!”

“Maybe we should go and get Superboy first.”

“No. We don’t need Superboy, we’ve got each other and that’s enough. Come on, let’s do it.”

They marched resolutely into the house and through to the kitchen where Mrs. Awatere-Jones was sitting talking to a strange man. She looked up and they entered and Conrad nearly failed. But, no!

“Mrs,” he coughed to clear the lump. “Mrs. Awatere, I’m Conrad Keenan, I’m 15 and I’m in love with Nicholas and he loves me too. We cut school, we’ve been together all day and I love him.”

“Well!” she said. “You’re a feisty one aren’t you?”

“I’m not really, but I love him and we need to be together. We just have to!”

“Nicholas?” she stood up. “Do you love this boy?”

“Yes, Mum, I do. This is Conrad! I’ve always loved him and I always will.”

“Are you two having sex?”

“I’m sorry,” said Conrad. “But that’s really none of your business. Whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it together.”

They waited for the explosion, but it didn’t come. She just shrugged. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Mum? Mum, are you okay with that – with us?”

“Yes Boys,” she smiled. “I’m okay with that. As long as you’re both together and you’re both happy with it, I’m okay with that.”

“Really? You’re really okay? Oh, Shit! Mum, thank you!”

“Be happy, Son. That’s all I want. I’ve been talking to Superboy and his Billy, and to Jonathan and Jo-Anne too. Everything’s going to be fine.

This here is Bill Taylor, he’s in Alcoholics Anonymous and we’ve been talking. I think we’re going to see a lot of him. Bill has got a gay son too. His boy, Jordan, is in a relationship and very happy in it. Everything’s good.”

“No,” Nicholas shook his head. “Everything is not good. Everything is bloody good! Everything is perfect. Thank you, Mum. Thank you, Conrad.”

“You need to thank Superboy and the others too, but not now. Go away, Boys. Go and thank each other. We’re busy talking here.”

Nicholas took Conrad to his room and they did thank each other – a lot.

(Dare I say) The End.

Westpoint Tales - the Lost Years, 10

Conrad was not a total innocent. He’d fought some major battles with his family, and won some of them too. But he’d never been subjected to a tirade like that. Battles with his family were always on a more sober, civilized level.

And the language! He was no prude. He could swear, sometimes, of course he fucking could! Everybody did. It was still largely a rough-arse, working class town in many respects. But he’d never heard any adult woman sound off like that.

She was foul-mouthed and bloody scary too. She had terrified him. He wouldn’t go back there in a hurry.

“Nicholas! Oh, Nikita, what are we going to do?”

The safe and sensible thing would be to do as she demanded and stay away from him? But, could he? He didn’t want to, he wanted to be with Nicholas.

He drove away from Eastman’s Road and home to Carvers’ Beach, where the sane people were, and lay down on his bed to think.

He went to work, at the radio station, at the usual time and did his 3 hour show, but his heart was not in it. Usually he laughed and joked and had a great old time when he was on the air, but not tonight. Tonight he was flat and lifeless. He didn’t laugh, not once, and just went through the motions making the announcements and playing the music.

Before the 10 o’clock news, he played one last dedication.

“Okay, that’s it for tonight. This is Conrad Keenan signing off. Before we go, here’s one last dedication. This one goes out from me to you – you know who.”

He played Elton John’s ‘Nikita’.

Hey Nikita is it cold In your little corner of the world
You could roll around the globe And never find a warmer soul to know
Oh I saw you by the wall Ten of your tin soldiers in a row
With eyes that looked like ice on fire The human heart a captive in the snow
Oh Nikita You will never know anything about my home I'll never know how good it feels to hold you
Nikita I need you so Oh Nikita is the other side of any given line in time
Counting ten tin soldiers in a row Oh no, Nikita you'll never know
Do you ever dream of me Do you ever see the letters that I write
When you look up through the wire Nikita do you count the stars at night
And if there comes a time Guns and gates no longer hold you in
And if you're free to make a choice Just look towards the west and find a friend


Conrad cried in the car on the way home. He arrived and went straight to his room. In a couple of minutes, there was a knock at the door and Robbie and Bryce came in.

“Conrad? Are you okay? You weren’t your usual bright and breezy self on the air tonight.”

“Hey Robbie. I’m okay. I let you down didn’t I? I just wasn’t in the mood. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Lad. I don’t give a bugger about the show, it’s you that I’m concerned about. What’s wrong, Conrad?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing!”

“I don’t know what it is, but whatever’s wrong, it’s not nothing.”

Conrad hung his head and didn’t answer, he was too busy trying not to cry. Robbie, seeing that he was not going to tell him, continued.

“Conrad, please don’t shut us out. I’m not your father but I’m the nearest thing to it that you’ve got right now. I’m your favourite uncle, aren’t I?

Believe it or not, we were kids once too. We’ve been where you are now. Maybe we can help you, but we can’t unless we know what the problem is.”

“Listen to your uncle, Boy,” said Bryce. “He loves you and he just wants to help. We both do. Who is Nikita?”

Once again, Conrad-who-never-cried started bawling. He had no control over it anymore. His emotions welled, tears overflowed and he sobbed his heart out.

“Oh Conrad!” Robbie sat beside him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. Bryce sat on his other side and held both of them.

“Su. . .Su. . .Superboy,” Conrad sobbed.

“Superboy? Justin? Has Justin done something to upset you? He wouldn’t , would he?”

“No! Not like that. I want Superboy!” he wailed.

“You want Justin? Oh shit, Conrad! You’re a great kid, a really great kid, but that is not going to happen. No way! Justin is with the great love of his life and nothing or no-one is ever going to prise him away from him. Not going to happen.

“No!” Conrad looked from one serious face to the other and grinned through his tears.

“No, Robbie. Don’t be a dork! Of course I don’t want Superboy like that. I’m not in love with him. He’s old anyway. I need to talk to him, I need his help.”

“Oh. I see. Sorry. But why can’t you talk to us? We’re here for you. We’ll always be here for you and there’s nothing you can’t say to us.”

“Like Robbie said,” Bryce spoke up. “We’ve been where you are. We were gawky teenagers once.”

“You were never gawky, Blondie.”

“Shut up, Robbie. I’m talking to the boy. Conrad there is nothing that we wouldn’t do for you, but you have to let us help.”

“You can’t! You can’t help, only Superboy can. Superboy knows who Nikita is, he told me about him in the first place. I want Justin. I need him.”

“Ah!” said Robbie. “Nikita’s a boy. What’s your problem with him?”

“You don’t know, Robbie. You can’t know. You don’t even know who he is or where he is. Only Superboy knows.”

Bryce said, “Just tell us one thing. Are you in love with this Nikita?”

“I don’t know. But . . yes! Dammit, yes I am. I’m in love with Nicholas already. I don’t know what to do!”

“And Justin would know what to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know, but I’ve got to talk to him.”

“I think you do. Come on then, in the car.”

“In the car? What are you talking about, Blondie? Look at the time, it’s late.”

“It’s not late, Robbie. It’s not even 11 o’clock yet.”

“Justin and Billy have got a little kid. They’ll be in bed by now.”

“If they are, then we’ll just have to get them up. Come on, Robbie, this is important. Look at the Boy, he’s a mess. We don’t want him spending the whole night like this.”

“Hmmm. You really think Justin can help, Conrad?”

“I don’t know, but talking to him might.”

“Yes, it might. Come on then, we’re going to see Superboy.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Okay. Thanks Bryce. Thanks Robbie.”

The main street was quiet but not completely deserted, there were still a few people about. The public bar of the Adelphi was still open, so they went in there. Bob Reynolds was behind the bar, cleaning up and getting ready to shut down for the night.

He turned and looked at them. “Hello Bryce, Robbie. You’re too late, sorry, we’re shutting down. In any case,” he looked at Conrad. “We don’t serve underagers in here. There’s no way that you’re 18, Lad, and a hotel bar is no place for kids.”

“Hello Bob,” Bryce grinned. “We’re not looking for a drink.”

“Well that’s good. I’d hate to see your name in the court cases in your own paper. What can we do for you, Gentlemen.”

“We need to see Justin. Is he at home?”

“Justin? Yes, of course he is. He’ll be up in their room, probably asleep, it’s getting late.” He had a close look at Conrad’s face and nodded. “It’s important, isn’t it? Okay, go through the ‘house’ door there, up the stairs and it’s the third door on the left. Try not to wake the little one.”

“Of course. Thanks Bob. You’re a good guy.”

“Sure I am. Superboy taught me,” Bob grinned.

“I dunno about that,” Robbie replied. “Maybe you taught Superboy.”

They trooped upstairs and knocked on the door. It cracked open and Billy looked out.

“Oh? Hey Robbie. Hey Bryce. And you must be Conrad? Are you looking for Justin? I’ll get him. Hold on a minute while we get some clothes on.

Out of bed, Justin! You’ve got visitors.”

In a couple of minutes the door opened again and Justin came out.

“Hello Superboy. Sorry to disturb you.”

“Not a problem, Bryce. Hey Robbie. Hey Conrad. Conrad? What’s wrong, Boy?”

His self-control dissolved and Conrad burst into tears again. “Sor. . sor. . .sorry, Superboy,” he sobbed.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Justin stepped forward and put his arms around him. “It’s okay, Conrad. It’s okay.”

Bryce, Robbie and Billy were close to tears themselves as they stood and watch the boy cling to Justin and cry piteously.

He calmed down, pushed away and made a wry grin. “And I’m the Seeker!’ he shrugged. “I’m sorry Superboy. I’m sorry, but you’ve ruined my life!”

“I have? We’ll have to fix it then. How have I ruined your life, Conrad?”

“You can’t. Nobody can fix it. Nobody!”

“Nobody can do lots of stuff. He’s a clever guy is Nobody. You still haven’t said what’s wrong.”

“Nicholas!” he wailed and he started to cry again.

“Nicholas?” Justin took him back into his arms. “What on earth has Nicholas done?”

“Nothing! I love him. I love him so much, Superboy. Oh, Fuck! I love him and it’s hopeless!”

“Oh, I see,” Justin grinned. “Damm, love is fierce at 15! You love Nicholas and I know that Nicholas loves you. You’ve met the lovely Mrs. Awatere-Jones, haven’t you?”

“Ye-e-e-es,” he wailed again. “She hates me. She really, really, hates me and I love him. Oh, Superboy, what am I going to do?”

“Buggered if I know,” Justin shrugged and forced a little grin.

Westpoint Tales - The Lost Years, 9

“You’re just in trouble if you say what I think you were going to say!”

He removed the hand and looked into those big, dark, eyes. “All right?” he smiled.

“All right. Thanks, Justin.” A big grin spread across and lit up his face.

“Okay. Now stand up and give me a hug.”

They stood and hugged. Nicholas clung to him tightly and then he started to cry – great big sobs.

“Nicholas? Oh, Nicky! What’s wrong?”

“’I love him. I really, really love Conrad. I love him so much it hurts. Do you think he’ll ever want to hug me?”

“He will. If he doesn’t then he’s the Dummy, and we’ve already agreed that he isn’t.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know.”

“Oi! What’s going on in here then?” Billy marched into the room. “Are you making a move on my Justin, Nicholas Awatere?”

“No!!” Nicholas wailed. He sprang away and his whole body seemed to crumple inward as he stood and cried.

“I didn’t. I couldn’t. I would not do that!”

“Hey! Hey!” Billy said. “It’s okay, Nicholas. It’s okay. I was just joking with you. Sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Justin grabbed and held him again. “It’s okay, Nicky. Billy was just joking. You shouldn’t do that, Sunny. Nicholas takes everything seriously.”

“Yes, so I see! Sorry Nicholas, I was just kidding with you. I won’t do that again. Any time you want to hug Justin, you go ahead and do it. As long as I’m not using him, that is.”

“Okay. Thank you, Billy. Justin is my friend.”

“Yes, he is, and he’s a good one too.”

“He is! Justin is the best friend ever.’

“That he is.”

“Okay, my Friend. Time you were going home, I think. You’ve got school tomorrow. Does your mother know where you are?”

“No. My mother’s not at home. I haven’t seen her, or Jo-Anne, since this morning.”

“Since this morning? Where would they be?”

“Oh, I don’t know – partying somewhere.”

“On a Monday? So, you’re at home alone then?”

“Well, yes. But I’m used to that. I’m always at home alone.”

Always home alone. That’s not good.”

“It’s better than when the party is at our place. Id better go anyway, if she comes home and I’m not there, there will be trouble.”

“We don’t want that then,’ said Billy. “Come with me and I’ll drive you home.”

“Thank you, Billy. I can walk, it’s all right.”

“Nicholas, go with Billy. He doesn’t get the car out anywhere near enough.’

“All right, Superboy.”

“All right, Justin!”

Billy drove the kid home to his empty house. Justin checked on Jeremy. He was already asleep, so he cleared the books and toys from the bed, covered him up and turned out the light. He had a shower and climbed into bed to wait for his mate.

At school next morning, in the, ever-crowded and always chaotic, locker-room, Nicholas stood quietly waiting to get to his locker.

“Nicholas. Hey!”

He turned around and smiled. “Hello Conrad,” he drawled.

“Great! We’re talking then. Why are you just standing here?”

“I’m waiting to get to my locker.”

“Waiting?’

Conrad looked at the three gossiping girls standing, leaning on the locker-doors.

“Come on Girls. You’re holding things up here. Nicholas needs to get to his locker.”

“Hey Conrad. What do you care? Kid’s no friend of yours, is he?”

“Oh, but he is! Be fair, Girls. You can stand somewhere else.”

“Yeah, okay. For you.”

They moved away and one looked back. “Play us a song, Seeker. You owe us one.”

“’Kay, I’ll do that. There you go, Nicholas. That your locker?”

“It is. Thank you, Conrad.”

He opened the door and knelt down.

“You’re welcome, my friend. I’ll see you at lunchtime, okay?”

“Okay! I’ll look forward to that.”

“Yeah, so will I.” Conrad walked away and Nicholas got out his books for the day.

They met again at lunchtime and ate their lunches together, sitting alone out on the grass at the edge of the sportsfield. Nicholas and Conrad only had eyes for each other, but every other eye in the place was on them, even the teachers.

The Seeker and the Dummy having lunch together? Was there ever a more unlikely match? What did Nicholas Awatere have to make the Seeker want to be with him when he never bothered with anyone else?

Nicholas didn’t see the Seeker, he saw Conrad – the boy he adored and always had. He was delighted that Conrad wanted to spend time with him.

Conrad didn’t see a Dummy, he saw a beautiful boy – unassuming, gentle, softly and slowly spoken and very good-looking too. That slow-spreading smile. Those eyes! This kid was gorgeous and a thoroughly nice person too. He liked what he saw – very much.

Ross and Robert, sitting in the sun with their girlfriends, smiled at each other as they watched the lonely pair.

“Superboy Rules!” Robert nodded at them.

“He does,” Ross grinned. “Justin can do anything.

“What did Superboy do? Is he here?”

“No, Trina. He’s not here. Eat your lunch.”

Nicholas walked home, alone as always, after school. His head hung low and his books were cradled in his arms as he walked along Derby Street. A car pulled up behind him; he took no notice.

The car tooted, he just kept walking. It wouldn’t be anything to do with him, it never was. It tooted again, but he didn’t even look around. The car moved ahead of him and stopped again. Conrad got out of it.

“Nicholas! Didn’t you hear me? Do you want a ride home?”

“Conrad!” He beamed his lazy smile. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Thinking good things, I hope.”

“Yes, of course I was.”

“That’s good. Do you want a ride or not?”

“In your car?’

No, on the next train that comes up the street. No, sorry. That was not nice. Yes, of course with me. Hop in the car and I’ll take you home.”

“Thank you, Conrad. That’s very nice of you.”

He put his books on the front-floor and got in, carefully buckling the seat-belt before closing the door. “You have to ‘make it click’, in case the car crashes. Most car crashes happen in towns.”

“Yeah, so they say. Don’t worry, we’re not going to crash, I’m a careful driver. Where do you live?”

“In Eastman’s Road, at number 76, with my mother.’

“Eastman’s Road? Damm. That’s not very far. Nowhere is very far in Westpoint. We’ll just have to go very slowly then.”

“That will be nice. Thank you, Conrad. This is great. Is this your car?”

“It’s my car. It’s nothing flash. Just a little, cherry-red, Toyota Starlet. It’s old, but it goes and it’s all mine. Uncle Robbie and Bryce bought it for my 15th birthday.’

“That was good of them.”

“It was good, but not completely selfless. Before I had the car, they had to drive me in and out to the radio station. I can’t walk it and I’m not biking that far at night, especially when it’s raining. So now I’ve got my own wheels and they get to stay at home by the fire and everyone’s happy.”

“That’s good. I’m happy too – very happy.”

“Oh, Nikita! If I can make you happy then I’m happy too.”

“What is Nikita? I’m Nicholas, or Nicky sometimes.’

“Nikita – that’s you. It’s a friendly way of saying Nicholas – Russian, I think. Something like that. It’s all good.”

“It’s very good! Are we friends now?”

“We’re friends, if you want to be.”

“Oh, I do! I really, really, do.”

“Yeah. I really, really do too.”

They exchanged smiles and cruised along, slowly, in silence until he pulled up outside Nicholas’ home. Conrad was delighting in this gentle boy. Nicholas was in heaven, sitting beside the boy he loved.

They sat, quietly, in the car at the side of the street, talking a little and smiling a lot; but, not for long. The banshee was at home and not in a good mood.

Nicholas’ mother came running, and screaming, out of the house. “Nicholas! Nicholas!! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get the fuck out of that car!”

“Mum!”

They both got out and stood by the car.

“Mum, please don’t. This is Conrad. He is my friend.”

“Oh no, he bloody is not! You don’t have friends who drive around in cars. I will put up with Superboy, just. Otherwise, you stick to people your own age! I know what teenagers get up to in cars and it’s not nice. They’re all out for the same thing!”

“Don’t, Mum. Please don’t. This is Conrad. He is my age, he’s 15 the same as me. Look at him, he’s in a school uniform. This is Conrad!”

“I don’t care who the fuck he is!” She screeched and shoved him towards the house. “Get inside! Get in the house, right now! He is not your friend and you stay away from him. I know what he wants. They’re all the same, fucking teenagers in their cars. Horny little bastards! Get in the house, Nicholas!”

“’Goodbye, Conrad. I’m sorry.”

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up! Stop talking to him. Get inside!”

Conrad was not as brave as Superboy, he didn’t even try to talk to her. He just slunk into his car. That didn’t stop her though. Having dealt with Nicholas, she turned on his friend and ripped into him.

“You!! Yes, You! Get the fuck out of here! You stay away from my boy. If you’re at the Highschool then you know bloody well that he is a Dummy!

He is Special Needs and he’s got no money, so there’s only one thing that you’d be after. You stay away from him or I’ll have the law on you. Horny Little Bastard!”

She stormed into the house and slammed the door. Conrad, feeling a bit shell-shocked, started the car and drove, sadly, home.

Westpoint Tales - The Lost Years, 8

That night, Conrad started his show in the usual way. After the news, weather and sport, he played a piece of his theme song, Whozzat’s version of the Kinks’ ‘Dedicated Follower of Fashion’.

(“They seek him here, They seek him there,
In Derby Street and ‘round the Square.”)

“Hey People! It’s that time again. Don’t despair, the Seeker is here! How was your weekend? Cool party on Saturday, wasn’t it? Awesome fireworks! Starting the show tonight with something special, I’ve got a dedication to play.

I know, I know, we play dedications all the time, but this one is special. This one is from me. I don’t do that – but tonight I am. Nicholas, I hope you’re listening. This one is for you from me.”

He played Willie Nelson’s ‘Spanish Eyes’.

“Did you like that then, Nicholas? I hope you’re listening. He’s got great eyes, has Nicholas – Spanish Eyes. Shine on, Kid.

I do like Willie Nelson. He’s really cool for an old dude. The original rebel, and he’s an original. Rock on, Willie! Now, for a bit of this. . .”

More music started. Justin and Billy sat in their room and looked at each other.

“Wow!”

“Wow is right. I hope Nicholas heard that, he’d be delighted.”

“Was that your doing, Sweetcheeks? Did he play that because you asked him to?”

“No I didn’t. I did offer to but Nicholas said that, while Conrad playing a song for him was the one thing that he really wanted, it had to be his own idea and not a request from anyone else. Looks like it just happened. I SO hope that he didn’t miss it.”

“Yeah, that would be the pits! That’s your plan, isn’t it? Getting those two together?”

“It is. You can read me like a book, can’t you?”

“Only sometimes. It’s about time we got that boy into bed.”

“In bed? Oh – you mean Jeremy.”

“Of course!! Don’t you even think about anything else.”

“I wouldn’t, Sunny. I never would. Jeremy in his own bed, sometimes, and you in mine, always. That’s all I’ll ever want.

“Yeah, me too.”

They went through to Jeremy’s room and interrupted his playing. He was building a town again, from blocks, bricks, books and anything else he could find.

“I’m sure that this boy’s going to be a builder.”

“A demolition expert is probably more likely! He sets them up and knocks them down.”

“He’s not that bad.”

They hadn’t even got the Boy into bed when they heard a thundering coming up the stairs.

“Just – tin! Justin! Just. . in.”

Justin opened the hall-way door and they looked out to see Nicholas pounding on the door to their room.

“Justin! Are you there?”

“No, I’m not. I’m over here. Hey Nicholas.”

“Justin! Oh, Justin. He did it. Did you hear him? He did it – he played a song for me! Did you hear it? You didn’t ask him to do that, did you?”

“Whoah, Nicholas. Settle down, Boy, you’ll burst a blood vessel. Take some deep breaths and settle down. Yes, we heard it. No, I didn’t ask him to. It was all his own idea, I think.”

“But he did it, didn’t he? That was so cool. He really did it! Why would he do that?”

“What did he do? Who did he what?” Jeremy demanded excitedly. “It was good wasn’t it? Who did what?”

“Jeremy, don’t you start,” Billy replied. “The Seeker played a song on the radio for Nicholas.”

“Oh. Is that all?” Jeremy shrugged and went back to his room.

Justin said, “Don’t listen to him, he’s just a kid. It was a big deal and very exciting – very cool. Come and sit in our room and get your breath back.”

They went into their room and steered Nicholas into the visitors’ chair.

“Nicholas, tell me something. Did you run all the way here from your house?”

“I did,” he nodded. “I had to tell you.”

“That’s great. That was a fast run, I’m impressed. Don’t you ever tell me again that you can’t run – you can! I’ll be struggling to keep up with you soon.”

“Not likely! You’re the best, Superboy. No-one beats you. Why did he play my song?”

“Well, we really don’t know. You might have to ask him.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that.”

“Sure you can. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No! I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t!”

“Okay, don’t get upset. Nobody’s going to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“It’s probably quite simple really,” Billy said. “People have been seeing you around with Justin. Superboy’s friends get noticed. Conrad probably saw you with him somewhere.”

“Do you think so? Oh, Justin – Thank You!”

“Thank you, Nicholas. Thank you for being my friend.”

“I’ll ALWAYS be your friend. What am I going to do about Conrad? I can’t go and talk to him.”

Justin picked up the phone, tapped out the numbers, 0800343374, and handed it to him. “Just say, ‘This is Nicholas, thank you, Conrad.’”

“Can I? Should I? I. . oh. . .Hello. Hello Conrad. Thank you for playing the song, this is Nicholas. Thank you.”

A huge grin spread across his face as Conrad spoke to him. Billy took Justin by the hand and took him back to Jeremy’s room.

“Give the Boy some privacy.”

Got Him! A few minutes after he’d played the song and dedicated it to Nicholas, the phone rang and it was him, Nicholas!

He knew that he’d ring, or, he hoped he would. People rang the station sometimes, to say thank you for playing a request or a dedication. It didn’t happen often, but it did happen.

At first he was certain that Nicholas would ring, but then, as the long minutes dragged past, he was starting to think that maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he didn’t even hear it. So it was with great relief that he answered the phone and heard that soft, drawling, voice.

“Hello Conrad. Thank you for playing the song, this is Nicholas.”

“Nicholas! Hey! It’s so good to hear from you. It was my pleasure to play a song for you. That one just describes you so well, you’ve got great Spanish Eyes, and thank you for saying ‘thank you’. Not everyone does that.”

“It wasn’t my idea. Superboy said that I had to. He rang the number and put the phone in my hand.”

“He did? Good for Superboy then. Tell him I said thanks.”

“I will.”

“He really is Superboy, isn’t he?”

“He is. Justin is great and he’s my friend.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard. You’ve got a good friend there.”

“I have!”

“Is he there with you now?”

“No. He and Billy have gone in the other room.”

“Oh. But he’s at your house?”

“No. I’m at his hotel. I ran all the way here after I heard you play a song for me. I had to tell him.”

“Okay. Why did you have to tell him?”

“Because he’s my friend. I haven’t got any other friends.”

“Really? Why not? You’re a nice guy.”

“Do you think so? I’m not, I’m just a Dummy.”

“I do think so and you shouldn’t say that. You’re not a Dummy.”

“That’s what Superboy says.”

“Superboy says that you’re a Dummy?”

“No! He doesn’t.” Nicholas giggled, throatily.

(‘Damm! That’s so cute!’)

“Justin says that I’m not a Dummy and I shouldn’t say that.”

“Good for him then. You should listen to him. He’s a good friend, isn’t he?”

“He is! Superboy is the best.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that too. Look, Nicholas, can you hold on for a minute? The song is finishing and I’ve got to do a voice-break., but I’ll be right back. Please don’t hang up. Wait, okay?”

“I will wait for you, Conrad.”

“Thanks, Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

Nicholas waited patiently. He would’ve waited all night, but it wasn’t long before Conrad came back.

“You still there? Oh good. Thanks.”

“Conrad, why did you play a song for me?”

“Because I wanted to. I thought you’d like it. You did, didn’t you? Superboy said that you always listen to the show.”

“Oh. Justin asked you to, didn’t he?”

“No he didn’t! He didn’t even tell me your name. I figured that out for myself.”

“How did you?”

“Superboy came to see me. He said that he had a friend, a boy my age, who’d never talked to me but who listened to the show all of the time. You’ve been around with him lately, so I figured that it must be you.”

“And you played a song for me.”

“I did. You liked that, didn’t you?”

“I did like it, that was great! But, I don’t know why you did it.”

“I told you, I wanted to. Look, Nicholas, Superboy likes you. He says that you’re a good guy. I think that you might be too, and I’d like to get to know you. Okay?”

“Would you really? Oh shit! I. . .ah. . .you wouldn’t want to know me.”

“Yes I would! Why wouldn’t I want to know you?”

“Because you’re Conrad. You’re great and you’re really smart. I’m not, I’m just a . .”

“Don’t say it! Don’t say that you’re a Dummy, you’re not! Look, Nicholas, I’m sorry but I’ve really gotta go. I’m working here, got stuff to do. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, I will be at school tomorrow.”

“Good, I’ll see you then. You will talk to me, won’t you?”

“I’ll try to.”

“You do that. You try very hard, I won’t bite you. You talk to me or I’ll smack you, okay?”

“You’ll smack me?”

“If you don’t talk to me, I will. Gotta go, Nicholas. Thanks for phoning, it was good to talk to you.”

“It was good to talk to you too. Thank you for playing my song. Goodbye Conrad.”

“Later, Nicholas.”

Nicholas hung up and sat looking at the phone with a big grin on his face. Justin came back through the door.

“Everything all right then?”

“Oh yes! Thank you, Justin. Conrad is great. He’s going to smack me.”

“He what? He bloody better not! Why would he smack you?”

“He said he will if I don’t talk to him at school tomorrow.”

“Oh. Well that’s different then. You talk to him. If you don’t, then I might smack you too.”

“Would you really?”

“No, not really. But I’d feel like it. You talk to him, Nicholas. He’s a nice kid and he needs friends too, we all do.

“I don’t”

“You don’t need a friend? Why not?

“I don’t need a friend, I’ve already got one. I’ve got you and you’re Superboy.”

“No, I’m not – I’m Justin. You have got me, and that’s good, but you need more. You need friends who are your age. Billy is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Or want to. Don’t you want a friend like that? Don’t you want Conrad like that?”

“Justin1 Oh, Justin. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.’

“You could and I think you will, if you don’t run away. You’re good enough, Nicky. You’re good enough for anyone and Conrad will be lucky to have you for a friend. Very lucky.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do and I’m not wrong. Ask Jeremy, he’ll tell you, his Daddys are always right.”

“Jeremy doesn’t know. He’s just little.”

“Don’t tell him that. He doesn’t think he is. Anyway, ask Grandmother, she’ll tell you the same thing and she’s not little.”

“You’re very lucky, Justin. You’ve got all these people who love you. I love you too.”

“I am lucky. You can be too, just let people love you. I love you, Nicky. Anyone who knows you is going to love you.”

“Even Conrad?”

“Yes, even Conrad. He played a song for you, didn’t he?”

“He did! That was incredible. Thank you Justin.”

“Hey, it wasn’t me, it was Conrad who did it. Thank him.”

“I did thank him, you made me do it.”

“You’re not sorry are you?”

“No, I’m not sorry. Conrad’s great.”

“Yeah. Well tell him that. I think you’ll find that he’ll say the same thing to you.’

“That he’s great?”

“No, that you are. You really are, Nicky. You’re a great kid.”

“I’m not. I’m just. . .”

Justin clamped a hand over his mouth to shut him up.

Westpoint Tales - The Lost Years, 7

Nicholas came out of the main entrance of the Highschool, walking slowly and with his head down. His lips moved as he read something in his hand. Some girls hurried out behind him and one of them shoved him out of the way.

“Move your arse, Dummy.”

“Oi!” Justin fronted up to them. “Keep your hands off my friend.”

“Your friend, Superboy? Get real. This is Nicholas, he’s a . .”

“He’s a nice kid and he’s my friend.”

“He is? Really? You must be getting hard up.”

“Hard up? Not at all. I’ve got some great friends, and Nicholas is one of them. Right, Nicholas?”

His wide grin spread from ear-to-ear. “Right, Justin! I’m your friend.”

Justin took him by the arm and led him away. The girls stood watching.

“Well, bugger me!”

He purposely led him along, up Derby Street, through the Square and over to the main street. Nicholas didn’t notice, but everyone was staring at them. Justin noticed, he wanted them to look.

Nicholas took a lot of convincing that his mother was okay with them hanging out together, but Justin eventually got it through to him. They went to the Adelphi; Billy wasn’t back yet, so he introduced him to everyone else there. They took some cokes and went up to the bedroom.

Billy and Jeremy arrived and came into the room. Justin and Nicholas were sitting on the two, wide, window ledges looking down over the main street.

Nicholas blushed and stood up. “Billy. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? What for? This is Justin’s room too. He can bring his friends up here. Jeremy, this is Daddy’s friend, Nicholas. Be nice to him.”

“Gee, thanks Billy!” Nicholas beamed. “Hello Jeremy.”

“Hey Nicholas. Come and see my trains. I’ve got Thomas!”

Jeremy took his hand and pulled on it. Nicholas looked at Justin.

“Should I?”

“Of course. Go and see the Boy’s trains.”

Jeremy led him through to the other room, chattering excitedly.

“He’s a nice kid,” said Billy. He sat on the window ledge. “Good looking boy too.”

“He is,” Justin agreed. “He’s got a great smile, it lights up his face.”

“You think? No, the smile’s okay, but his eyes are his best feature. He’s got beautiful eyes.”

“That he has. The eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul. He’s got a sweet soul and beautiful Spanish eyes.”

“Yeah, he has. If he ever learns to use them, those eyes will be his best weapon. Lady-killer eyes.”

“Wrong, Sunny. He’s not interested in killing the ladies. He’s gay and he’s in love with someone special.”

“He is? Am I allowed to know who?”

“Of course. It’s Conrad Keenan actually.”

“Conrad? The Seeker? So that’s why you went to Robbie’s place last night. Oh, the poor kid, he’s got no chance.”

“I wouldn’t say that he’s got no chance. Slim, maybe but not none. He’s good enough for anyone and Conrad seems to be a nice boy too.”

“You Old Dog, you! You’re matchmaking aren’t you? Good luck with that.”

“We’re working on it, Sunny. We’re working on it. Now, I’ve got to drag him away from Jeremy. We’ll walk back to his home while there’s still a lot of kids around the streets.”

“Why would you want to do hat? Oh, I know. You want people to see him with you.”

“You’ve got it. If the kids see that he’s got one friend, maybe he’ll make some more.”

“You’re a devious beggar when you want to be, Sweetcheeks.”

“Oh yes. See you later, Sunny. I won’t be long.”

Jeremy protested, of course. He was having a wonderful time, playing trains with his new friend – mostly because Nicholas just let him be the boss and did what he told him to. Jeremy had shades of both of his great-grandmothers in him.

Justin dragged him away and they walked along the main street as far as the clocktower, around there and into the Square, past the skateboard ramps. They walked across to, and up Brigham Street, chatting quietly and pretending not to notice the many eyes watching them.

“Do you run, Nicholas.”

“No, I can’t run. I’m useless!”

“You’re not useless. Don’t say that. You should run – it’s good for you and it’s fun. I run most mornings, around 7 o’clock, in the Square. You should come with me.”

“I couldn’t run with you. You’re too fast for me.”

“I’ll take it easy until you get faster. You’d make a good runner; you’ve got the build for it – long and lanky. Come running with me.”

“Well, okay then, I will. I’ll see you there in the morning.”

“Good boy. Thanks. We might even make a champion runner out of you.”

“Doubt it! I’ll never be a champion anything, I’m just a . .”

“Don’t! Don’t say it, Nicky. Don’t even think it.”

“How do you know what I was going to say?”

“I know and I don’t want to hear it.”

They walked along together, quietly. Nicholas glanced sideways at him. “Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad that you’re my friend. Thanks Justin.”

“Thanks. I’m really glad that you’re my friend too.”

When they came to Nicholas’ home, Justin left him there after telling him. “When you go inside, spend a few minutes talking to your mother. Tell her about your day. Tell her about Jeremy and his trains. Be nice to your mum, and she’ll be nice to you. She does love you, you know.”

“I know, I think. I will talk to her. Thanks, Justin. Goodbye.”

“’Bye My Friend. I’ll see you at the Square in the morning.”

“You might.”

“No might. You be there or I’ll come and get you.”

Justin left him there and walked back home the other way, the long way. After having just shown everybody that Nicholas was with him, he didn’t want to back-track and show them that now he wasn’t.

The second walk across the town, with Nicholas, was a waste of time really. Justin’s purpose of showing him off and getting him noticed had already been accomplished when he met him at the school.

Conrad saw them there together and watched them walk away up derby Street. He listened to the clacking tongues of the gossips around him and thought.

‘So, my new friend is also Nicholas Awatere’s friend? What on earth would they have in common? He was with him at the Party in the Square on Saturday too. I saw him trailing along behind Superboy.’

That was all it took for Conrad to put two and two together. Superboy had a friend, a boy who was 15 and was seriously in love with him. Now he was walking up the street with Nicholas, a boy, aged 15. Ergo, his secret lover was Nicholas Awatere. It had to be him. Ewww! He was a Dummy.

But. Was he really? Superboy liked him. He was good enough for him.

He was a good-looking boy too, if you didn’t know him. He had beautiful eyes. Dark, soft and expressive, Spanish Eyes. He had a wide grin and that long, long, slender body, smooth and tanned. Nicholas was a looker! Why had he never seen that before?

He didn’t know him at all. He thought that he did, but he didn’t.

Nicholas Awatere as a friend, and, maybe, as a lover? Well? Why not anyway?

Conrad drove home to Carvers’ Beach, and lay on his bed, lost in thought.

“Conrad, you’re 15. You’re not a kid anymore, you’re growing up, but you’re all alone.” Superboy sat right there, last night and said that to him. It was true too, he was all alone.

Did he want to be? Was he happy? The hell he was! He needed a friend. He needed someone to love. Nicholas?

Nicholas was . . .he was. . . he was a bloody nice kid, that’s what he was! He was always pleasant, in his own way – never offensive. Good looking, quiet and slow-spoken, he kept to himself and was never a problem to anyone. He never had a bad word to say to anyone. When they mocked him, he didn’t retaliate, just smiled that goofy smile and walked away.

He was a nice kid.

Conrad could like him. He did like him. They could be friends, if Nicholas wanted to. Of course he bloody wanted to! He loved him, didn’t he? Didn’t he?

There was a song, a really old song, that had something to say about this. It was a really, really old song – older than most of Uncle Robbie’s favourites even, and they were ancient. It was not as old as Superboy’s song though. Not quite, but it was getting up there.

What was it called? Someone? It was sung by who? (‘Whom?’) Umm – yes! That was it, sung by the Tremeloes, one of those British groups back in the Beatles’ days.

He sat at the computer, opened his music-sharing programme and ‘searched’. Nothing. There were a few songs by the Tremeloes, some that he knew but didn’t know that they’d done them, but nothing about ‘Someone Who Loves You’.

One song was by Brian Poole and the Tremeloes, so he searched by that artist title. Yes! There it was. ‘Someone Loves You’ by Brian Poole and the Tremeloes. He started a down-load and went over to check on his music-news site.

When the ‘Launch” panel slid up, he clicked on it and sat back to listen.

“Someone (love you), Someone (love you)
Someone who really loves you.
(Someone) When Someone really loves you (Someone)
That’s when your life begins.

Once I was loved by no-one, no-one depended on me
I thought that I was truly happy, but oh how wrong can you be?

Someone (love you), Someone (love you)
Someone who really loves you
(Someone) When Someone really loves you (Someone)
That’s when you life begins.

A heart can be easily broken, a heart can even stand still.
A heart can be easily broken, but I know that mine never will.
Once all the stars were shining, now it’s so easy to see.
Once all the stars were shining, but now they shine for me.

Someone (love you), Someone (love you)
Someone who really loves you
(Someone) When Someone really loves you (Someone)
That’s when your life begins

That’s when your life begins.
That’s when your life begins.”

That was it? Damm, they did short songs back then! He played it again, and this time something happened. He didn’t know why or what it was, but a huge wave of sadness overwhelmed him. He started to cry and streams of silent tears ran down his cheeks.

Conrad never cried – never! He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried, but now he was. He SO wanted someone to love him. He wanted his life to begin. He wanted . . he wanted . . He wanted Nicholas! Yes. He wanted a relationship with Nicholas Awatere with the beautiful eyes.

How? How to begin? Nicholas loved him, Superboy said. Well, he more or less said. It had to be him. It must be him. How?

He’d often heard the story of how Uncle Robbie and Bryce had first got together, away back in the dim, dark ages. Robbie was 14 and very shy, but he had his own radio show even then. That, of course, was how he’d started on the radio himself. Robbie was the boss now and he’d offered a time-slot to his favourite nephew.

“You could be the new Toucan.”

“No thanks. I don’t want to hide like the Toucan did. I’m not you, Uncle Robbie, I’m me – Conrad. That’s it! I’ll do it, but I’ll be the Seeker.”

“The Seeker, searching for and playing songs?”

“No. The Seeker for my initials. CK, Conrad Keenan, me.”

“Right. The Seeker it is then. The Toucan’s dead anyway, I shot him.”

“Bird-murderer!”

And that was how he started on the radio. It was a lot of fun and Robbie paid him well, but there should be more to life than that. He wanted what Robbie and Bryce had. He wanted to love and be loved. He wanted Nicholas.

So? How had Robbie done it? He and Bryce had begun by dedicating songs to each other on the radio; songs that said how they were feeling. (Bryce STILL called Robbie his ‘Little Boy’, sometimes).

He could do that, couldn’t he? Of course he could. Superboy said that Nicholas listened to the show. “Let’s hope he’s listening tonight.’

What song could he play for him? Yes! There was only one possible song. He’d do it tonight.