Kaimoana Tales, Ashton 54

Mrs. de Groot woke them in the morning with a tray of tea and toast. “Good morning, Boys. It is time that you were awake. Did you sleep well, Ashton?”

“Umm, yes, I did, thanks. Thanks for the tea.”

“Enjoy it. Peter, you need to get the fire going please. I will have scrambled eggs for you when you are ready.”

“Thanks, Mother. We’ll be there soon.” Peter sat up and took toast in one hand and tea in the other. “Are you okay, Ashton?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Ashton sat there, feeling awkward. Nobody had said anything, but he felt a bit strange being in bed with Peter when his mother was in the same room. He was sure glad that he’d worn the pj’s.

“Do you, ah, do you have friends staying over often?”

“Friends?” Peter smiled. “What friends? No, I’ve never had anyone stay the night before. Ever. It’s a whole new experience for me. Thanks, Ashton.”

“Thank you. I really didn’t want to go home last night. I still don’t, but I’d better.”

“Will your parents be worried about you?”

“Not likely! They won’t even know I’m not there. They don’t give a damm about me; as long as the work’s done, they don’t care.”

“They’re mad! Maybe things will change now that they’ve lost a son?”

“I can’t see it. They won’t change, but I bloody will!”

“That is good,” Peter nodded. “It’ll be good if something good comes out of your poor brother’s dying.”

“Yeah? I think something good has already happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve got you for a friend, haven’t I? That’s good.”

“It is! Very good. You could’ve always had me, you just didn’t know.”

“No, I didn’t. I was blind. You’re a good one, Peter.”

“I’m just me,” he blushed. “You are the special one. Our worlds are so different, we just didn’t come together.”

“Now they have. I’ve got to go home, there’ll be a mess to clean up, but I’ll be back if I can.”

“You can come back any time you want to. You’ll always be more than welcome here.”

“Thank you, My Friend.”

“Now I’d better get up and light the fire. Your clothes are on the chair, I folded them and Mother has left a towel for you. You could get dressed in the bathroom and have a shower if you want to.”

“Thanks, I’ll do that.”

They cleaned up, and then sat at the table and Mrs. de Groot served up big plates of scrambled eggs on toast. They were light and fluffy, but they were almost like omelets, they had chopped onions, tomatoes and herbs in them.

“This is great, Mrs. de Groot. I’ll be as big as a house if you keep feeding me like this.”

“Nonsense. Growing boys need their food. Enjoy it, Ashton. I like to see people eating good food.”

“This is very good food. The eggs are a rich colour.”

“Of course they are, they’re free range and organic fed. We have our own hens, on the hill out at the back. Now, I’m going to clean-up my bedroom. There’s a box of food there. Take it home to your mother when you go. The poor woman won’t be feeling like cooking.”

“She never does, but thanks. That’s nice of you.”

(He’d take it home all right. Suzanne could have some, but the parents wouldn’t – stuff ‘em. It was too good for them.)

When he left, Peter walked out to the car with him. “You’re not going to school today?”

“No. I couldn’t stand that. I’m having the rest of the week off. How come you never go to school?”

“I’m home-schooled, I don’t even have to leave the room. I do my schooling on the desk by my bed.”

“That’d be nice on a wet day.”

“It is nice. I get a bit lonely though.”

“Wrong! Maybe you used to, but not any more. I’ll be back so often you’ll get sick of the sight of me.”

“That is never going to happen. You’ve made me very happy, thanks, Ashton.”

“Thank you, Peter. I’m sad for my brother, but you’ve made me happier than I’ve been for a long time, maybe forever. Thanks for coming and finding me yesterday. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there.”

“I don’t even want to think about that. I’ll always be there for you.”

“Yeah? I think you would too, and that’s good!”

Ashton hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He got into his car and left before he started crying. Peter went back inside, grinning from ear to ear. Riley was so not going to believe this! His impossible dream had come true – wicked!

Peter hung around home all day, which was not unusual. He did have some errands that he should’ve been doing, but they could wait. It was more important for him to be there if Ashton came back. However, he didn’t.

He was disappointed, but decided that that was just being selfish. He wanted to see him, but Ashton was probably busy. They’d just buried his brother and his family probably needed him there. The Woods would, wouldn’t they? Yes, of course they would.

Even so, he couldn’t help looking up hopefully ever time a car went past. He didn’t show.

After dark, he was lying on his bed, reading a book – on it not in it as he usually did. He had still not quite stopped hoping that Ashton would come back. There was a knock on the door and he flew across the room and opened it before his mother was halfway there.

“Oh. It’s you.”

It was only Riley. Only? Any other time he would’ve been delighted to see his friend.

“Sorry. I was expecting . . .someone else. Hello Riley, how’re you?”

“I’m good. Nice that you’re so pleased to see us. Can we come in for a minute?”

“Of course. I am pleased to see you, I always am. Please come in.”

“Okay. Come on, Jake! Shake a leg or whatever!” He grinned at Peter. “He’s in the toilet.”

“I don’t want to think about that. Come and sit by the fire.”

Riley stepped in the room, Mrs. de Groot looked up and beamed. “Riley! How nice. Come and sit down and I will make us some tea.”

“Hey, Mrs. de Groot. No tea, thanks. We’re not stopping, we just called in for a minute to say hello.”

“Nonsense. It’s chilly out there. Some nice hot tea will warm you up. I’ve got cake.”

“You’ve always got cake. Really, thanks but we don’t want anything. We haven’t got time.”

“Yes you have. There’s always time for tea. Sit down and talk, it won’t take a minute.”

“Well, umm, yeah. Maybe just a taste then.”

“Good boy! Boys need to eat.”

“Mother!” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Shush, Peter. Talk to your friend.”

Jacob appeared out of the dark. “Hey Guys. Sorry about that, I was busting!”

“That’s okay, Jacob. When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. At least you didn’t do it on the vege garden.”

“I thought I was going to have to do it out in the street! We just got here in time. Hey, Mrs. de Groot, how are you?”

“I am very well, thank you Jacob. Thank you for asking. Take a seat by the fire; I am just getting tea.”

“There’s a surprise! No, sorry. Tea would be great, thanks, but we’re really not hungry.”

“Of course you are. Of course you are. Boys are always hungry.”

“Not around here, they’re not.”

“Don’t be cheeky, Jacob.”

“Cheeky? Who, me?”

“Yes you, you scamp. Go away before I have to smack you.”

They exchanged grins and Jacob joined the others by the fire.

“So, Peter, who were you expecting if not us? Is your father due home? No, he wouldn’t knock, would he?”

“No, not Father. I thought that you were Ashton actually.”

“Ashton? Not likely! We don’t even look like him; and we haven’t got a Beamer.”

“I had noticed that.”

“Everyone’s smart tonight. Peter, my friend, why would you think that it was Ashton knocking on your door? Seriously, you’ve really got to get over this obsession with Ashton Woods. He’s got his world and you’ve got yours, and there’s no way that he’s going to come knocking on your door.”

“Don’t you believe it, Riley,” Peter grinned. “Ashton was here yesterday. He gave me a ride home in the Beamer.”

“No! Really?”

“Yes, really. He stayed the night here too; he slept with me.”

“He did not!”

“He did so. Ask Mother, she woke us up this morning.”

“She did? Really?? Damm, Peter, that’s fantastic! How did that happen?”

“Ashton has a place where he goes when he’s feeling down and needs to be by himself. I thought he’d go there after Damian’s funeral and I was worried about him, so I waited there for him. We talked, he brought me home, he didn’t want to go back to his house, so he stayed here. He slept in my bed. Nothing happened, we just slept. He went home this morning; he said that he’d be back, but he hasn’t yet. He’s probably busy with family stuff.”

“Wow! Just wow. That’s great, Peter, really great. Ashton Woods and Peter de Groot!” Riley beamed his approval.

Jacob agreed. “It is great. You’re a fantastic kid, Peter. Ashton is a lucky boy. If I didn’t have my Riley, I’d be chasing you too.”

“Oi!!” Riley protested.

“Shut up, Riley. I’m all yours and you know it, but who wouldn’t want a love like Peter has for that kid?”

“Yeah, you’re right, and Ashton is very lucky. So he hasn’t come back yet? He’s an idiot if he doesn’t. Has he got a big dick?”

“Eww! Shut up, Riley – really shut up! I don’t know and I wouldn’t tell you if I did.”

“Fair enough, I suppose. Dammit. Can I be your Best Man?”

“Yeah, right! I can’t see that ever happening, but if I ever need a Best Man, of course it would be you.”

“Yeah, we love you too, don’t we, Jake?”

“Sure we do. You’re our mate, Peter, and we love you.”

“As you should, as you should.” Mrs. de Groot came over with the dreaded tea-trolley, but this time there was surprisingly little on it. She handed them each a small plate with a single, large and round, cookie on it.

“Now, Boys, as you all insist that you are not hungry, I want you to try these and tell me what you think of them. Don’t say that they are nice to be polite. Tell me what you really think. The tea is in the pot, help yourself when you are ready.”

They watched each other as they all took a taste and chewed thoughtfully. They all bit bigger mouthfuls. Jacob swallowed, looked at what was left, and looked up. “Wow!”

“Definitely,” Riley agreed. “You’ve got it, Jake. Wow says it all. Mrs. de Groot, these are fantastic – incredible! You always make good food, but these are something else. I’ve never tasted anything like it.”

“Yes, wow,” Jacob grinned. “Got any more? I never want to eat anything else again.”

“It’s wonderful, Mother. Really wonderful. Is this the recipe that Father emailed to me?”

“Yes, it is. Thank you, Boys. It is a recipe that Father and Uncle developed together. Would you like another one?”

Jacob held up his empty plate. “Does a bear shit in the woods? No, sorry, but yes! Please, more!”

“Seriously.” Riley held his plate up as well.

“Just one more then.” She replenished their plates. “If you are still hungry, there is fruit-loaf on the sink-bench.”

“Mrs. de Groot, would you consider selling these in Mum’s café?”

“I don’t think so, Riley, but thank you for asking.”

“But, well, why not then? If people get a taste of these, they’d buy all that you could make. You could make a lot of money.”

“I hope that we do. That is the Plan. You know.”

“The Plan? I hope it works for you.”

“So do we all. If all goes well, we hope to sell thousands of these every week.”

“Thousands?” said Jacob. “How do you plan to do that?”

“Ah, that is for me to know,” she smiled. “Thank you, Boys. I am going to bed now; have a nice visit.”

“’Night, Mrs. de Groot.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Mother.”

Greetings from New Zealand

Kick arse!

Kaimoana Tales, Ashton 53

(Just because).

Mrs de Groot busied herself in the kitchen area, the boys sat and looked at the fire. It was all driftwood burning, like a beach-fire brought inside. So that was why he saw Peter pushing a cart full of wood around.

Ashton looked around the crowded, cluttered, little room. It was a big room for the little house, it was probably more than half the floor area of the whole house, but it was small compared to what he was used to.

The kitchen and dining areas were at the end by the backdoor and there was a bed (!) at the opposite end. It was all very full, there wasn’t an empty space anywhere. The floor was covered in a dozen bits of mis-matched carpet pieces.

At first glance, it looked like it had been furnished from a junk shop. However, Ashton had grown up in a house full of objects d’art and he knew quality when he saw it. Some of the bits and pieces here were very high-class stuff. His mother would love to get her hands on them.

There were books everywhere, and they were good books too. There was no sign of a computer, there wasn’t even a TV.

“What are you thinking, Ashton?”

“Eh? Oh. This is a nice room, it looks like a home.”

“It is a home,” Peter grinned. “We live here.”

“Of course you do – you’re lucky. So there’s just your mum and you?”

“And Father, when he’s home. Soon he won’t have to go away for work and he’ll be here all of the time. That will be great.”

“It will? You like your parents, don’t you?”

“I love my parents and they love me too.”

“Really? You don’t know how lucky you are.”

“Oh, but I do. I’m very lucky.”

“Yeah, you are. My parents don’t give a shit about me.”

“I’m sorry, Ashton. Your parents must be blind. You are their greatest treasure.”

“Yeah? I wish they thought so, but they don’t. They think more of their dogs than their kids.”

“They must be mad!”

“Something like that.”

Mrs. de Groot came over, pushing an old-fashioned tea-trolley which was laden with trays of cakes and goodies.

“Here we are, Boys. Eat up, there’s plenty more where that came from.”

Ashton’s eyes popped. “Wow, this looks great, thanks, but there’s way too much here for just the two of us.”

“Nonsense. You eat. We don’t want you going away hungry.’

“Not much chance of that,” Peter grinned. “Eat what you can, Ashton. Mother is a great cook and she likes feeding people.”

“That’s great.” Ashton took a piece of apple crumble. “Did you make all of this, Mrs. de Groot?”

“I did indeed, this and more. I’ve got some savouries heating in the oven, they must be nearly ready. Would you like some vegetable soup, Boys? There’s hot soup on the stove.”

“Well, maybe just a taste would be good, thanks.”

“Wonderful!” she beamed. “You are a good boy. Stay there and I will get it. You will have some too, Peter. You don’t eat enough.”

“Mother, I eat plenty.”

“You are a growing boy. You need more. Are you warm enough, Ashton? Put some more wood on the fire, Peter.”

“Mother, the fire is fine. Don’t fuss.”

“I do not fuss. We don’t want your guest to get cold. I’ll get the soup and savouries, just wait.”

She hurried back to the kitchen and Peter shrugged. “Sorry. Mother can be a bit much sometimes.”

“No she’s not! You’re mother’s great. She’s a nice lady.”

“She is really,” Peter smiled. “There’s never a cross word around here.”

“Never? Wow. You wouldn’t want to see my house.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“Oh, but it is.”

Mrs. de Groot came back. “Here you are, Boys. Nice hot soup and bread fresh out of the oven. Have you eaten some cakes? I’ll get some more.”

“Mother! There’s no need. We’re never going to eat half of what you’ve got here.”

“You must try harder, Peter. The savouries are ready, I’ll get them now.”

She went back and Ashton grinned. “I’m starting to see what you mean. There’s so much food here! You must have a lot of waste?”

“No. Not at all. A load goes to the Old Folks Home, twice a week.”

“That much? I hope she gets a good price for it.”

“No, she just gives it to them.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Mother loves baking, it’s her one extravagance.”

“You’ve got a great mother, Peter.”

“Yes, I have. It’s a shame that they never had any more children. Mother and Father would have been great grandparents.”

Ashton wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but Mrs. de Groot came back and he let it pass.

“Nice hot savouries. Please be careful and do not burn your mouths. Oh, I am a silly old thing – I forgot the tea!”

When she returned with the tea-tray, there was nowhere to put it, so it went on the hearth in front of the fire.

“There now, the fire will keep it warm until you are ready for it. Now, have you got everything you need? Did you see the funeral today? There was a huge turn-out for that poor boy.”

Ashton gulped and turned to look at the fire.

“Sorry, Ashton. Mother, the funeral was for Damian Woods, he was Ashton’s brother.”

“He was your brother? Oh, I am so sorry, you poor lamb! That is so sad. What a terrible, terrible thing to lose your brother. Your parents must be devastated.”

“Well, umm, yeah. Thanks.”

“Awful, just awful.” She went back and got a tray for herself.

“I am going to bed with my book now, and will leave you in peace. Have a nice visit, Boys. It’s lovely to meet you, Ashton and I’m sorry about your brother.”

“Thank you and thanks for the great food. Nice to meet you too. Goodnight, Mrs. de Groot.”

“Goodnight, Boys. Lock the door after Ashton leaves, Peter. Perhaps he’d like to take some food when he goes?”

“No, Mother, he wouldn’t. Thanks anyway. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my Lovely Son.” She went into the other room.

Ashton looked up at the grandmother clock on the mantelpiece above the fire. “It’s early to be going to bed, isn’t it?”

“It’s early, but she’ll read for an hour or two. She’s not really going to bed, she’s just getting out of the way so we can talk.”

“That’s nice of her, but she shouldn’t have worried. We could go to your room, couldn’t we?”

“Ashton, this is my room.”

“Oh.” He looked around. “That explains the bed then. So you sleep in the living-room?”

“Yes, I always have. There’s only one bedroom. Mother and Father sleep in there. I like sleeping by the fire.”

“Yes, that would be pretty cool – or warm really. You have an interesting life, Peter. It’s so different to mine.”

“We are different. We’re two extremes – the richest kid in town and the poorest one.”

“I think you’re right, but it’s not the way people think it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the rich boy is you, Peter, not me.”

“Me? Oh, no. To be rich you’d have to have money and I don’t have any. Look around you, Ashton. You live in a palace, I live in a shack.”

“No you don’t! You live in a warm and comfortable home with parents who love you. I live in a cold art gallery with parents who don’t love anyone but themselves. You’re the rich one, Peter. I’d swap places with you anyday.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“It’s worse. I hate my life. Damian hated it so much. He killed himself to escape from it.”

“That’s so sad, but it’s no escape. Damian was being stupid.”

“He was. He snapped and he lashed out, but the only person he really hurt was himself. They don’t care. Neither of them has shed a single tear. They’re pissed at him for embarrassing them but they don’t care about him. No-one cares about Damian.”

“That’s not true. You care about him.”

“Oh, sure! Now I do – now that it’s too late. Doesn’t do him any good though, does it?” He swung around and sat staring into the fire. “He was my little brother; I should’ve been there for him and I wasn’t!”

“You didn’t know.”

“I should have known! I knew the shit he was going through and I did nothing.”

“Ashton, what could you do? You were in the same place and your life was no better than his.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Well, I’m not going to do it anymore. I’m done with playing their games. Fuck ‘em!”

“Now you’re talking. You’ve got rights, stand up for them.”

“Yeah.” Ashton turned to look at Peter. “You know, that’s the exact same thing that William said.”

“William?”

“William Scott. He was Damian’s best friend – his only friend really. He said that I should demand what I’m entitled to.”

“William knew what your life was like?”

“He knows; he said that Damian showed him. William and his cousin, Dylan, came down to Christchurch to see Damian. They were too late, he died before they got there.”

“So now William is crying for him too?”

“I guess. Yeah, he was crying. He was bloody angry too.”

“That’s understandable, he’s lost his friend, poor kid.”

“Yeah, poor William. At least he’s got Dylan to hold him while he cries. Know who I’ve got? Nobody!” Ashton dropped his head, covered his face in his hands and cried, sobbing and shaking.

Peter cried as he watched him. He wasn’t sure what he should do, but he had to do something. This aching boy was the boy he’d been in love with forever. He dropped out of his chair, knelt on the floor next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Ashton?”

“Oh, Peter!” Ashton grabbed hold of him and slid out of his chair. “Hold me! Please hold me,” he sobbed.

Peter wrapped him in his arms and they knelt together, crying together.

“Okay.” Ashton pushed away as he recovered his composure. “That was so not cool.”

“You don’t have to be cool around me, I never believed it anyway. Of course you need to cry for your brother. You cry all you want to.”

“Thanks, Peter. You’re a good guy, you’d be a great friend.”

“Ashton, I’d be your friend anytime you wanted me to.”

“Oh, I do; I really do. I need a friend.’

“You’ve got one. Please don’t go back to the top of the cliff again.”

“Why not? That’s where I go.’

“I know, and you never look happy when you’re up there. If someone was to jump off there, they’d smash into the rocks and die horribly.”

“I’ve thought about it.”

“I know you have. Please don’t go back there.”

“Would you cry if I did it?”

“You know that I would.”

“Yes, I think you would. I’d better get back to my cold and loveless house now.”

“You don’t have to. Stay the night here if you like.”

“Could I? But where would I sleep?”

“You can have my bed, I’ll go and sleep in the bus.”

“You would do that? But it’s cold and dark out there.”

“I’ll take a candle.”

“No. You can’t do that. I’m not putting you out of your bed. I’ll sleep in the bus.”

“You’re not sleeping in the bus. We haven’t got the power on out there yet.”

“Okay, we’ll both sleep in here then.”

“All right, we’ll sleep in here. You can have the bed and I’ll sleep in a chair.”

“You will not! We’ll both sleep in the bed.”

“There’s not a lot of room in there. It’s only a small bed.”

“So we’ll get close.”

“No, sorry. I can’t do that.”

“You can’t? Why not? I thought you liked me. I thought that we were friends. I’m not putting the moves on you, I’d just like you to hold me some more.”

“Ashton, I’m sorry. I can’t. It’d be too hard – I’d be too hard. I’m gay you know.’

“You’re gay? Really? Peter, I think you’re just about perfect actually. Being gay would not be a problem, believe me.”

“Not a problem? Damm. Ashton, are you saying that there might be a chance?”

“There’s a very good chance, My Friend. Sometime, we’re going to talk about that, but not tonight. Tonight I just want you to hold me. Please?”

“Okay, of course. I’d love to hold you. We’ll do that. Do you want to shower before we go to bed?”

“You’ve got a shower?”

“Yes. Father put one in over the bath. The bathroom is over there, next to the kitchen.”

“I don’t want a shower, I don’t think I’m too smelly. Maybe in the morning? I do need to use the toilet though. Is that in the bathroom?”

“No, it’s outside the back-door. Don’t worry, it’s not a long drop; we’ve got a flush toilet, it’s just outside.”

“Good! I’m pleased about that. I’ll find it then.”

When he came back inside, Peter went to use it as well. “There’s some pjamas on the chair by the fire. They should fit you; you’re taller than me but you’re no bigger.”

“Thanks. I’ll try them.”

Peter went outside, carrying pj’s for himself. When he returned, he was wearing them and carrying his clothes. He locked the door and turned the light off.

The room was still well-lit by the open fire.

“You get into bed, Ashton. I’ll fix the fire.”

Ashton lay in bed and watched the very blond boy load the fire up with big chunks of wood. He put the spark-guard up in front of it. (“So we don’t burn the house down.”)

He came over and climbed into bed with Ashton. It was a small and narrow bed, so they were pressed up against each other, which neither of them minded.

“We are just going to go to sleep, but I have to tell you – I’ve dreamed of this, so many times! I can’t believe that you might be gay too.”

“I don’t know if I am or not. Let’s just say that I’m interested, okay? From now on, I’m going to live my life the way I want to. But, not now. For now all I can think about is Damian.”

“Of course it is.”

“He looked so small and sad lying in that box; and now he’s in the ground!” Ashton cried.

They clung together and cried together until they went to sleep.

He woke once during the night and sat bolt upright, sweating and shaking. Damm! What a weird dream. He was back at the top of the cliffs, in his rental suit, and there was an open, empty, coffin on the rocks below him. Damian appeared, suspended in the air in front of him, swinging on the rope around his neck. He was beckoning and calling to him, telling him to come with him.

It was just a dream. A horrible, vivid dream. Now he was awake.

He hadn’t been asleep long, the fire was still burning brightly, it was crackling softly. The clock on the mantelpiece ticked. This was a nice warm room, so much better than his own.

He looked down at the beautiful blond boy sleeping beside him. Peter was gorgeous and he wasn’t a dream. He was real, warm and alive. Beautiful. He kissed him softly on his sleeping lips, and then lay back down, snuggled into him and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Kaimoana Tales, Ashton 52

(Hey Guys - just a short one. It's way too busy here - school holidays and i live in a mad-house! There's 12 kids here, i think - hard to count heads when they won't keep still.)

They stumbled and slid down the gully to the foot of the hill. Peter was much faster, he reached the bottom long before Ashton did and stood waiting for him to catch up.

“Wow, Peter. I would never have picked you for the athletic type.”

“I’m not really. I just work and play hard. There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“There is, but I’ve got a feeling that I’m going to find out.”

“I hope so.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They made their way along the rocks at the foot of the cliffs. Ashton felt like they’d only been there for a few minutes, but it must have been longer than that, the tide had risen a long way since he arrived. Much longer and they would’ve been getting wet feet.

They didn’t, but it was close in places. Back at the car, he pointed the keys at it and it unlocked with a ‘beep’ and a flash of the lights.

Peter was impressed. “Whoah. Does it have an alarm too?”

“Sure it does. It’s got all the bells and whistles. The alarm’s off when the doors are unlocked. Do you drive, Peter?”

“No, I’ve never learnt. We don’t have a car.”

“None at all?”

“No, we never have.”

“We’ve always had lots. They get them cheap because he’s a car-salesman.”

“The only one in town. Our lives are very different.”

“I think they are, and the more different to mine your life is, the better off you are.”

“Do you not like your life, Ashton?”

“I bloody hate it! Damian did too, that’s why he did it.”

“That is sad. He was a silly boy. I hope that you never do what Damian did.”

“I’ve thought about it. Jump in, Peter, and we’ll get going.”

They got in and buckled-up.

“Are these seats real leather?”

“Yeah, some poor cow had to die so that you could sit there.”

“That’s not nice.”

“It’s not. Especially not for the cow. But they’re all going to die anyway.”

“I suppose so. Whoah! What are you doing?”

“Just adjusting your seat. They go up and down and in and out at the touch of a button.”

“Very cool. Is that a TV screen?”

“No, that’s the GPS. The TV’s down there.”

“I’m so ignorant. What’s a GPS?”

“Global Positioning Satellite, I think. The car’s computer reads where it is from a satellite up there somewhere, and puts it up in a map on the screen. And, you’re not ignorant.”

“Wow. That’s amazing. Your car has a computer in it?”

“Lots of new cars have these days. No big deal.”

“It is a big deal. You have an amazing car, Ashton. What else does it do?”

Ashton took a few minutes to show him all the different features and toys in the Beamer – the TV, the music etc.

“The stereo has even got a remote. Why, I don’t know. It’s not like you can’t reach the buttons on the dash. All that’s lacking really is a big flashing sign on the roof, saying, “Look at me!””

“You’re not in love with your wonderful car then?”

“No, I’m not. It’s just a car. Let’s get you home then.”

He drove back into town and pulled-up outside Peter’s little house.

“Thanks for the ride. That was something I’ll remember. It must be comfortable on long trips.”

“I guess. I wouldn’t know really. I’m only allowed to drive it in the town. The only time I’ve been anywhere in it was to Christchurch, for Damian, and Dad drove then.”

“You don’t drive it out of town?”

“No, never. South Bay is as far as I’m allowed to go.”

“Oh. Are you coming in?”

“Into your house? Are you sure I’m welcome?”

“You’ll always be welcome here, Ashton.”

“Thanks. But, what about your parents? Are you allowed visitors?”

“Yes, of course I am. Father is away, working, but Mother is here. She will make you very welcome. Just don’t tell her that you’re hungry.”

“But I am hungry. I’ve had nothing to eat all day. Still, I can wait; there’ll be plenty of food when I get home. There always is after a party, we get the left-overs.”

“I think that you won’t be wanting any left-overs. Come inside.”

Peter untied and opened the driftwood gate and they walked up the side of the house on the new brick path. Well, the path was new, the bricks were old. They’d re-laid the path after the yard was dug-up to get the old bus up there. Ashton followed Peter’s lead and they stopped at the back-door and took their shoes off, putting them up in the box screwed to the wall.

Peter pushed the door open. “Hello, Mother. I’m home.”

The old lady looked around and her face lit up with a big smile.

“Hello, My Son. It’s about time you came home. You know that I worry.”

“No worries, Mother. This is my friend, Ashton.”

“Another new friend! That is wonderful. Hello Ashton.”

“Hey, Mrs, ah, de Groot. Are you sure that it’s all right for me to be here?”

“Of course it is. Of course it is. Come and sit by the fire and I’ll make us some tea. Are you hungry, Ashton?”

“No, he’s not, Mother!” Peter leapt in. “He’ll have something to eat but he’s definitely not hungry. Please don’t over-feed him.”

“Nonsense, Peter. I don’t over-feed people. Anyway, Ashton is a growing boy. Teenagers are always hungry. Is that not right, Ashton?”

“Well, yeah, I guess I am a little bit hungry.”

“Of course you are! Wonderful.”

Peter grinned and shook his head. “Oh, dear.”

“Sit by the fire and I’ll put some more wood on it.”

“You’ll cook us! I’ll look after the fire, Mother. You could get us that drink.”

“Peter worries me, you know. You do not eat enough, My Son.”

“Mother, I eat plenty. You’d have me as big as a house!”

“I would have you happy and healthy. Boys need their food

KaimoanaTales, Ashton 51

They buried him on Wednesday. It was a long time to wait, the whole town had been talking about nothing else since Sunday morning. No-one knew why he did it, but there were a hundred theories. The general consensus was that the boy was insane. What other reason could there be?

He was only 14 years old, not much more than a child. He had a good home and a good family – one of the leading families in the town. He had all the opportunities any kid could want to build a great life for himself, and he’d thrown it all away. He must’ve been mad!

William was ropeable. When he wasn’t crying, he was practically spitting sparks. He hated those people so much! Dylan, concerned about him, spoke to Emmy and she agreed with him. She totally agreed and, together, they made William sit down and tell his parents everything he knew.

They were disgusted with what they heard of Damian’s parents and his home situation, but they agreed with Dylan. It would do no-one any good for Wills to go sounding off. What was done was done and they hadn’t broken any laws, apart from the laws of common decency.

Paul said, “Wills, that’s a sad and shocking story, the poor kid, but that’s still a stupid thing he did. There were other ways of dealing with it. Killing himself was no answer. It hasn’t fixed anything, all it’s done is to hurt everyone and especially himself.”

Sarah looked at her boy, sitting on the sofa, wrapped in Dylan’s arms and crying into his chest. “I hope you know, Wills, just how much we all love you – all of us and especially Dills. You’ve got a good friend there.”

“I do know that!” William sobbed. “Dills is the greatest. Best friend anyone ever had, and I love you guys too. Thanks. I just wish I could’ve done something, anything, for Damian.”

“You did, Wills,” Dylan said. “You were his best friend and that’s a lot.”

“It wasn’t enough!”

“It was what you had. You didn’t know.”

“I suppose. Thanks, Dills.” William looked at his parents and sister. He stood up, took Dylan’s hand and pulled him to his feet.

“Thanks, Mum, Dad, Emmy. Now you know. Dills, come with me, I’ve got something in my room.”

They left the room with their hands still linked.

“Well!” Paul said. “Wills is right, Damian’s parents were bastards, but what he did didn’t fix anything.”

“At least the poor boy’s out of his misery now. It’s a shame that Wills didn’t bring him to us, but, as Dills says, he didn’t know.’

“No-one did. Sarah, those two, Wills and Dills, they’re very close. Do you think that they’re having sex together?”

“Paul! They’re two teenage boys, full of hormones and testosterone. They obviously love each other, they’ve been sharing a room for 4 months and they spend their days together as well. What do you think?”

“Well, yes. I think they are.”

“Of course they bloody are!”

“And you have no problem with that?”

“Why should I? Do you have a problem?”

“No, I don’t actually. They’re going to do it somewhere and Wills is a very good-looking boy, he’d be a predator’s dream. If they’re together, that’s good.”

“Yes it is, so leave them alone. Dylan’s a good boy. Wills has never been more settled and happy and he’s safe with Dills.”

Emmy smiled at her parents. “Wow. You guys are great. Does that mean I can get a boyfriend and bring him home and do it too?”

“No, it does not! Your situation is completely different and you know it.”

“Dammit!”

“Behave yourself, Emmy.”

They all went to the funeral and Dylan’s parents came with them too. None of the adults knew Damian, they were there to support their boys.

The church was packed, but they managed to get seats near the back. A lot of people didn’t and they stood behind the pews and outside the front doors. It was a huge turn-out for a weekday afternoon. Damian was a quiet, private, boy, but his family were very well known, they had a lot of connections and the crowd was there to support them.

Dylan sat next to William and shushed him when he snorted as the Woods family walked in and up to the front. Ashton and his father wore conservative black suits and ties with white shirts. Suzanne wore a simple black dress and shoes. Mrs. Woods was swathed in black; she even had a broad-brimmed hat with a heavy black veil.

“Who does she think she is? Queen, bloody, Victoria or something?”

“Hush, Wills. You can rant all you like after, but not here.”

Ashton smiled and nodded at them as he passed. At least he appreciated that Damian’s friend was there.

It was a full-blown Catholic ceremony with all the ritual and rigmarole, and it seemed to take forever. When, at last, it was over, the pallbearers went out with the coffin, followed by the family and preceded by the priest. The crowd shuffled out behind them, those from the front pews going first.

When William, and his family, went out the door, Mr. and Mrs. Woods were standing there speaking to the people and receiving their condolences, like it was a bloody debutantes’ ball or something!

William snorted and Dylan kept him walking, straight past them and to the car.

They went to the burial at the hilltop cemetery. There were great views up there, but the residents didn’t appreciate them. Afterwards, they didn’t go to the customary afternoon-tea, which was at the council rooms. That’d just be asking for trouble. They took William home.


Ashton left his parents and joined the long line of people moving past. He took his turn to trickle a handful of dirt onto his brother’s coffin. It looked so sad and pathetic down there at the bottom of the deep hole.

Just 14 years and it was all over. The box, and his young flesh, would rot away and Damian’s bones would lie down there, forever. Too sad.

The line kept moving and he passed the grave. His parents were standing back there, looking sad and pathetic too. Bloody hypocrites! This was all their fault and were they sorry? They were bloody loving it, especially the sadly-bereaved mother. Cow.

He didn’t go back to his place in the reception line. He’d had enough of this bullshit. He walked away, got in his car and left.

Back at the house, he got out of the monkey suit and into casual clothes. The suit was a rental. It’d be more than his life was worth if he got it dirty.

He went out of the house – it was not a home. They’d be partying there all night, he couldn’t be bothered with that. He got back into the Beamer and left.

He knew that no-one would believe it, but he was lonely. He had absolutely nobody who he could really talk to. He was pissed at Damian for doing what he did, but he could kind-of understand it.

Did Damian’s mate, William, understand it? He didn’t know. He’d have to talk to him sometime, but not now. William was, obviously, still angry about it all. He’d be all right, he had his cousin, Dylan, looking after him. Ashton wished that he had a cousin, or anyone, like that. William didn’t know how lucky he was.

He drove the short distance out of town, past Taylor’s Beach and out to the north-end of the Peninsular. He was going to where he always went when he wanted to be alone. He didn’t really want to be alone, but he was. The only other choice was for him to play the game and be the wonderful Ashton Woods, richest kid in town. Hah! If only they knew. He was more like the poorest kid really.

He left the Beamer in the carpark near the seal colony and locked it up. It wouldn’t pay to have it stolen. They’d be burying him too! He started along the Peninsular Track, went around a couple of the small bays, and then veered off and climbed up a steep and narrow little gully up to the top of the cliffs.

It was not easy getting up there, but he’d done it many times before. This was his private place where no-one could see him cry. He hauled himself up on to the ridge near the top and stood looking down the cliffs to the surging sea breaking on the rocks below.

How many times had he stood up there, wishing that he had the guts to just drop off and be done with it? Way too many, but not enough. Even now, he couldn’t do it and he’d never felt lower in his life. Well, not often anyway.

Damian was 2 years younger than him, he was just a kid, but he’d done it – he’d dropped off. And what a way to do it – right in their drunken faces! He hoped he’d hurt them, they deserved it. No, they’d only see it as it affected them. They always did.

He stood there, thinking about Damian. Stupid little shit! He could understand him wanting to lash-out at them, but what did he get out of it? Well, release, he supposed, but at what a cost. It had cost him everything. Nothing was worth that. Was it?

Dumb kid. He wished that he was a better brother for him, like Dylan was with his cousin, William, protecting and caring for him. They weren’t brothers, they were cousins, but that’s pretty close. He wished that he had a cousin like that, or a big brother. Now he had no brothers at all, it was too late.

The long, rubbery strands of the seaweed, swirling in the sea below, were calling to him. It was hypnotic, watching them. They were like mermaid’s hair – giant mermaids. He could just jump and it’d be all over, forever.

“Thinking about your brother, Ashton?”

What? Where? Who?

He swung around and Peter de Groot was sitting there, looking down at him. He was squatting on top of a big rock on the top of the hill, looking like an elf – or, rather, like a little blond, wingless angel. He was back-lit by the late afternoon sun and his fair hair shone like a halo on his head.

What was he doing here? He’d often seen him, going past, collecting seaweed, on the rocks below, but never up here in his place on top of the cliffs.

“I. . yeah, I am. What are you doing up here, Peter? This is where I come to think.”

“I know you do. I thought you might need someone to talk to today. Sorry. I shouldn’t intrude; I’ll go and leave you alone.

I’m really sorry about Damian though, poor kid.”

“Yeah, he was. Thanks. Don’t go, I do need someone to talk to.”

“I’m here for you.” Peter slid down off his rock and came down to Ashton on the narrow ledge. They sat, side by side, looking out to sea.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t know, but I thought you might come here after burying your brother.”

“Did you really?”

“Yeah, I know that this is where you come when you want to get away from everything, and you must be upset today – sad for your brother and angry with him too.”

“I am! Bloody angry with him. But, how did you know that I come here?”

“You always do. I’ve seen you sitting up here for years now, always alone.”

“You’ve never come up and spoken to me before.”

“You’ve never buried your brother before.”

“Too true. You’re always alone too.”

“I was. All my life I was alone, but not now. Since Riley moved to town, I’ve got a friend.”

“Riley Sullivan. You’re lucky, Kid. I wish that I had a friend.”

“You’ve got hundreds of friends.”

“Not really; not real friends. I’ve got hangers-on and fans, they’re not friends, they don’t even know me. It’s all just a game we play.”

“I thought so. I’d be your friend, Ashton, if you wanted me to.”

“You think you know me, do you?”

“I know you’re not happy.”

“Of course I’m not bloody happy, my brother just killed himself.”

“I know. I hope that you never get as miserable as he must have been.”

“How do you know that he was miserable?”

“I just know. Sometimes he used to sit up here too, on his own and looking sad.”

“He did? I didn’t know that. So Damian used to sit here like I do?”

“Yeah, like you do.’

“And looking sad? Not just a pretty face are you?”

“I’m a nothing and a nobody, but I have got eyes.”

“Lots of people have got eyes and they see nothing. You’re not a nobody, Peter. I think you’re a nice guy actually. Riley’s a lucky kid too.”

“Riley is a good guy. He doesn’t need me the same now, he’s got his new brothers.”

“The cave-boys?”

“Jacob and Colin, the ex cave-boys.”

“Fair point. So, do you think you’d have room for me in your life?”

“I’d always have room for you, Ashton.”

“Even if I’m not really Ritchie-Rich?”

“Even if you were the poorest kid in town.”

“I think I am actually.”

To his horror, Ashton found that his eyes were leaking. This was so not cool. Cool kids don’t cry in public. He turned his face away and tried to will himself to bloody stop it. Feeling sorry for himself had never helped before, why would it now?

Maybe it was the occasional sob escaping, something gave him away. Peter knew that he was crying.

He put a hand on his shoulder and said, “Let it out, Ashton. Don’t try to bottle it up, cry it away.”

“Damm, Peter.” He shook him off. “I never cry.”

“Maybe you should. Maybe you need to.”

Ashton looked him in the eye and his face crumpled. “Maybe you’re right.”

He dropped his head and cried. Peter draped an arm around his shaking shoulders.

He turned, clung to Peter and cried over his shoulder. He finally calmed down, pulled away and wiped his eyes.

“Sorry,” he shrugged. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yes you should’ve. You needed to.”

“Thanks, Peter. I guess you don’t think I’m Mr. Cool now?”

“I never did. I think you’re a great person, but I never believed the image. That’s not you.”

“You are so right! How come you see what no-one else does?”

“I just see. Maybe because I’m on the outside, looking in.”

“I wish you weren’t.”

“You wish I wasn’t looking?”

“No, I wish you weren’t on the outside. Riley was right; he said that you’re a great kid, and you are.”

“I’m just me – Dorky de Groot.”

“You’re not at all and the next person who says that to me gets a punch in the face!”

“I’d better not say it again then.”

“Shut up, Dork! I didn’t mean you.”

“Going to punch yourself now?”

“No, I’m not. I’m allowed to say that because you’re my friend.”

“Am I, Ashton?”

“You are. Well, if you want to be, you are.”

“Oh, I do. I never thought it would happen, but I’ve always wanted that.”

“Always?”

“Ever since I can remember.”

“Damm, Peter! I wish I knew that years ago. You should’ve told me.”

“I couldn’t. You’re Ashton Woods, I’m just Peter de Groot. I’ve got nothing to offer you.”

“You know what? I’ve got nothing either, nothing but me.”

“I don’t need any more than that. Thank you, My Friend.”

“My friend. I like the sound of that. I’ll be proud to be your friend, Peter, and thank you.”

“Thank you. The sun’s gone down now and it’ll get cold pretty quick. We should be getting back to town now.”

“You’re right, we should. I’m not going home though. They’ll be partying there and I couldn’t stand it. I’ll park-up somewhere for a few hours.”

“You could come and park-up at our house if you like. It’s nothing flash, but we’ve got a big fire, it will be warm.”

“Sounds good to me, thanks. Our house is as flash as and it’s as cold as ice.”

“Really? Don’t you have heating?”

“Well, yeah. Downstairs they do. I mean it’s cold because there’s no love there.”

“There’s plenty of love in my house and more than enough for you too.”

“You mean that, don’t you? Thanks, Friend. Let’s go then.”

“I’ll take the short-cut back through the farms and I’ll meet you there.”

“No. Come with me, please? My car’s back in the car-park, I’ll drive us from there if you like.”

“In the BMW? Hell yes! I like. I’ve never been in a car like that.”

“It’s about time you did then. C’mon, Peter.”

Kaimoana Tales, Dills & Wills 4 (last one)

They woke in the morning and grinned at each other, which was a bit of a tradition by then.

“Good morning, Gorgeous.”

“Hello, Handsome.”

“Funny what a day brings, Wills. I never thought yesterday morning that we’d be waking up together today.’

“No, me neither, and not in Amberley either! I wish yesterday had never happened.”

“Yeah, me too, but it did.”

“It did. Bloody Damian!”

“You’re still angry with him then?”

“I’ll always be pissed at him and his parents too.”

“But not Ashton?”

“No, not Ashton. He’s in the same shit-heap that Damian was.”

“Be thankful for the parents you’ve got.”

“I am, and you should be too. We’ve got a great family.”

“Yeah, we have. Hope they don’t kick us out.”

“Couldn’t see them doing that. I hope not. They must have some ideas about us by now.”

“You think? No-one’s said anything.”

“Good job too. Don’t ask, don’t tell works for me.”

“Me too – for now. Want to have a shower.”

“Together? Great idea! We can use up all the hot water with no mothers yelling at us.”

They weren’t that long in the shower. Neither of them was interested in sex after the hot and heavy night they’d had, and there’s not a lot else to do in there, apart from washing yourself, (or your mate!) They came out, got dressed, stripped the bed and rolled the sheets up for the laundry, and then went out to find something for breakfast.

“Never thought I’d say this, but I could get sick of takeaways.”

“I know what you mean.”

They bought apple pies and OJ, and then walked back to the motel to hand-in the keys and collect the car.

“There’s no hurry to get home, is there Dills?”

“There’s not. We’ve got all day. We can’t leave yet anyway, the garage is not open and I want to get some petrol before we go.”

“Haven’t we got enough to get home?”

“Well, maybe, but I’m not taking Mum’s car back empty, it’d be more than my life’s worth.”

“What are we going to do then? Park outside the garage until it opens?”

“No. Let’s go and have a look at Amberley Beach. I’ve never been down there and always wondered what it’s like. We usually just shoot straight past on the highway.”

“Fine, we’ll go to the beach then. Don’t you know what’s there?”

“No, but we’ll soon find out. There’s some sort of settlement there. The maps show some streets by the beach.”

“Not a city then?”

“Hardly, it’s just little.”

It wasn’t that little. At the end of the straight road from Amberley to the beach there were several streets of small houses and cottages clustered close together, each on a small, flat section.

They were very individual and brightly coloured, but they were all of the same distinctive style of beach-side buildings that could be found in similar settlements all over the country. Oaro was full of them and the older parts of South Bay were the same.

They were small, low to the ground, mostly flat-roofed and built of the cheapest materials. Obviously not for full-time living, these were owner-built weekend cottages and holiday homes. It was easy to tell the few that were permanently occupied, they tended to be larger and their grounds and gardens were better kept. Most places had nothing more than rough lawns, shrubs and trees.

Most of the surrounding, sheltering, trees were the ubiquitous pine trees, they were everywhere.

“They’re American, you know.”

“What are, Wills? The cottages?”

“No, the pine trees. Pinus Radiata. They originally came from the Monterey Peninsular area in California. Apparently, they’re rare there and you’re not allowed to cut them down.”

“You’re not? Just as well that doesn’t apply here. Pine trees are everywhere.”

“They are, they grow up in the snow-grass in the mountains right down to the beaches with their feet in the sea. Nine out of ten trees planted in New Zealand are Pinus Radiata.”

“Really? That’s a lot. Why don’t people plant native trees?”

“Some do, but not a lot. They’re too slow growing and pines are fast and easy. There’s more money in Pinus Radiata; they grow in any sort of ground and it’s only 25 years to maturity. Fast turnaround means more profit.

It’s a soft-wood, useless it’s treated to stop it rotting. Builders call it ‘long grass’. The original tree was a slow-growing hardwood, but ours are about 30 generations of development away from them.

The timber is easy to build with, if it’s treated. It’s light and it doesn’t split. It makes good firewood, when it’s dry, but most of them finish-up getting pulped to make paper. You’ll hardly ever see a plantation in NZ that’s not pines, apart from orchards. The Kaiangaroa Forest, up in the central North Island, is the largest man-made forest in the world.”

“In little New Zealand? Wow. How do you know all this stuff, Wills?”

“I’ve got a head full of useless information. Probably comes from growing up with a teacher for a father.”

“Yeah, probably. Is that what you want to be – a teacher?”

“Maybe. I’m thinking about it. What are you going to do, Dills?”

“I’m going to be a rich and famous rock-star.”

“Yeah, right! Good luck with that. I’ve heard your music.”

“Hey! Some people like my sort of music.”

“You think? I don’t, I think it’s bloody awful. You’re lucky that I love you.”

“I am, very lucky.”

“Yeah, so am I. Don’t worry, Dills. Teachers make pretty good money. I’ll be a teacher and support you while you try to make music.”

“Thanks, I think, but I’d rather be a rock-star and you can be my groupie.”

“I already am! I love you, Dills.”

“Cool. I love you too, bigtime!”

Dylan drove slowly up and down the flat streets. There was nothing but cottages and a few overgrown empty sections. There were no shops, hotels or motels, no parks and not even a community hall. This was obviously a quiet place for family holidays. The boys thought it was all a bit boring really. He stopped the car at the end of one of the sandy tracks going up and over the sand-dunes.

“Let’s go and have a look at the beach.”

“Okay. I’m not swimming though, it’s too damm cold for that.”

“You got that right.”

Over the low sand-dunes, they walked out on to the long, long, gray beach. Wide, flat and sandy, it stretched off in either direction as far as the eye could see, fading into the haze in the distance. It was an overcast day, so the sky was grey and so was the sea, except for the white-capped waves.

“Boring!”

“Yeah. Looks good for surfing though, there’s good waves and no rocks anywhere.”

“Maybe. Do you surf, Dills? I’ve never tried.”

“I surf, sometimes. I’ll have to teach you. There’s some good beaches up north of Kaimoana.”

“Okay, let’s do that, but I’m waiting ‘til the summer. It’s cold here.”

“The sea is always cold, but, yeah, that wind’s got a definite chill in it. Always seems to be windy on beaches around Christchurch.”

“Bummer! I hate cold winds.”

“That’s rich, coming from a Wellington boy.”

“Shut up, Dills. It’s not always windy there. It’s not as bad as people think.”

“Just as well too. Want to go for a walk?”

“Yeah, straight back to the car. I’m friggin’ freezing!”

“Toughen-up, Wills. No wonder they say that youth today are getting soft.”

“I can get hard too. Come back to the car and I’ll show you.”

“Randy little bugger. Do you ever go 5 minutes without thinking about sex?”

“Sometimes, when I’m sleeping.”

“That’s probably the only time too. Let’s go back to the car.”

“Yes!” William took off, running back to the track.

Dylan followed at a slower pace. He stopped for a pee in the bushes, and when he came around a corner, William was standing there facing 2 rough-looking characters who were blocking the track.

One of them leered, “Aren’t you the pretty little thing? What’s the big hurry, Darling?”

“Oh, yeah,” the other one said and held up his tray of cans. “We’re going to party in the dunes. Why don’t you come back there with us?”

“Why don’t you fuck off?” Dylan walked up to them.

“Think you can make us, do you?”

“If I have to, yes.” Dylan stood tall. They looked him up and down, one of them stepped aside.

Dylan took hold of William’s arm. “Come on, Wills.” He led him past them and down to the car.

“Dirty bastards!” William hissed.

“Just keep quiet and keep walking, Kid.”

They got to the car and looked back up the track. The others had gone. Dylan got in. William got in the other side, and then climbed over to sit on him. He snuggled in.

“Thanks, Dills. You’re my hero.”

“Any time, My Love. I’ll avoid a fight if I can, but I’ll fight if I have to. While I’m around, no-one touches you unless you want them to.”

“No-one touches me – no-one but you, always.”

“Always.”

They kissed.

“Maybe I should’ve though, with Damian. He wanted me to love him.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. You can’t think like that. It was not your fault.”

“I can’t help feeling that I should’ve done more for him.”

“Wills, you didn’t know. You’re not a mind-reader. All you knew was what he told you.”

“He told me plenty. I should’ve known.”

“When Brodie came and told us, it was a surprise, wasn’t it?”

“It was a total surprise. No-one expects that.”

“Well, then. You didn’t know.”

“You’re right, I didn’t Thanks, Dills. I really need you, you know. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I hope you never find out.”

“So do I.”

They kissed again.

“Okay, my Beautiful Boy – time we got this show on the road.”

William climbed back into his own seat and they went back to the bigger village on the highway. The Service station was open for business, so they pulled in there to fill the car up. They bought some munchies and cans of coke as well.

Dylan pulled out on to the highway and started towards home.

“Don’t go too fast, Dills.”

“What? Are you worried about my driving?”

“No, your driving’s fine, I just don’t want to go home.”

“Yeah, but we have to. Besides, I’d like to see the family now.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

At Waipara, they passed the turn-off to State Highway 7 – the Lewis Pass road to the West Coast.

“You ever been over there, to the Coast, Dills?”

“No, never. Have you?”

“Nope, but I’d like to. They say it’s very different.”

“We should go and have a look sometime, just you and I.”

“Yeah, let’s do that. How about next weekend?”

“Next weekend? Why not? We could do that, as long as Mum will give us the car, and as long as the funeral and everything’s out of the way by then.”

“Damian’s funeral? Damm. Do you think we should go? I think I’d be sick if I had to watch his parents make a big fuss about him.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that, but I think we should be there. You definitely should, you were his best mate and I should be there to make sure that you’re all right.”

“I’ll be all right if you’re with me. Yes, we’ll go. It’d be good for Ashton to see us there too. He knows that we know what Damian’s life was really like.”

“Good Boy. He could do with friends at the moment. Never thought I’d be saying that about Ashton Woods!”

Over the hills, they came down to the coast at Oaro. There was a blond boy there, hitch-hiking, but he was going the wrong way, so all he got was a friendly wave.

“He’s a dork!”

“He is? Do you know him, Dills?”

“Nope, never seen him before.”

“How do you know he’s a dork then?”

“Because he is – he’s hitching on his own. Only a dork would do that.”

“You think?”

“I do. Who knows who’s going to pick him up? It could be someone like those creeps you ran into this morning. Don’t you ever do that, Wills. If you want to hitch anywhere, I’ll come with you.”

“I love you too. I won’t do it on my own.”

“Good! We’re getting close to home. We’ll be there by lunchtime at this rate. Do you want to stop and park for a while?”

“No, I don’t think so, unless you really want to. I think I want to go home to my family.”

“So do I. We’ll go home then.”

Kaimoana Tales, Dills & Wills 3

It was late afternoon when they arrived; they drove into the center of the city, stopping for take-aways from a Burger King on the way, and arrived at the hospital on the edge of Hagley Park. Dylan found a parking space and left the car. They walked around to the main entrance and Ashton was there, sitting on the steps outside. Red eyes looked up as they approached and Dylan spoke.

“Hey Ashton. How are you?”

“Not good, Dylan. No bloody good at all.”

“How’s Damian?” William asked.

“He’s dead.”

“Dead? No!” He sank down to sit next to him.

“He died half an hour ago. They’re taking him to the morgue. There has to be an autopsy because it was suicide.”

“It wasn’t. It wasn’t fucking suicide – it was murder!”

“It was suicide, he did it himself, everyone saw him do it.”

“Yeah, but why did he do it?”

“I know why he did it. I wish I had the guts to do it myself. Oh, Damian!”

William sat looking at him, his face white, his fists clenched and his mouth shut tight.

Dylan sat down and put an arm around his shoulders. “Wills, don’t.”

“Yeah, I won’t,” he sighed.

He turned, hugged Dylan and cried into his chest. Dylan rubbed his back. The three of them sat in a row, William crying, the other two looking glum. William lifted his face off Dylan and looked at Ashton. He wanted to lash-out, but he couldn’t. Ashton didn’t look like the cool kid now, he looked like a boy grieving for his brother. “I know why too.”

“You do?”

“I know, he showed me, I saw his room. I’m sorry, Ashton, really sorry for him and for you too.”

“Thanks, William, and thanks for coming. You’re a good friend.”

“Damian was my friend. He was my best friend, apart from Dills.”

“And you were his. You were all he had.”

“Damm, I wish . . . I just wish.”

“Yeah, so do I. Wish I had a friend like you.”

“You’ve got hundreds of friends.”

“You think? I don’t see anybody here, do you?”

“No, but it’s a long way to come.”

“You and Dylan came.”

“Well, I had to. Dills came because he brought me here.”

“He’s a good friend too.”

“He is. Dills is the best ever.”

Ashton looked from one to the other. “Yeah, that’s good,” he nodded.

“Is there any chance that we could see Damian?” Dylan asked.

“You can’t now, they’ve taken him away. I suppose that the funeral will be back at home, you might see him then.”

“You think there’ll be a funeral?” William asked.

“I guess so. There’ll have to be, won’t there?”

“Not sure. But then, it’d be a chance for a public show, wouldn’t it? Lots of weeping and wailing and being all sad and everything to make people sorry for you.”

“Probably right. I could see some people getting right into that.”

“Your parents are bastards, Ashton.”

“Yes, they are.”

“I don’t know why you put up with it. Why don’t you walk out on them? I would.”

“I can’t. Don’t think I haven’t thought about it, but I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

“Nowhere at all?”

“Nowhere. Well, except for our grandmother’s and that’d be worse. I’m not going there. One thing I do know, I’m not playing their games anymore – fuck ‘em!”

“Good for you. You’ve got rights, bloody stand up for them. Be strong for Damian, and for yourself too.”

“Yeah, I will, and for Suzanne too. She gets the same crap that we did.”

Dylan nodded. “Now you’re talking, Ashton. Do you know Riley Sullivan’s mother? She’s actually a lawyer, and a good one. She sorted Colin and Jacob’s lives out, maybe she’ll do the same for you. You should go and talk to her, she’ll know what you can do.”

“Thanks, Dylan. I might do that. Do you guys want to come up and see Dad and Suzanne? They’re still up there somewhere.”

“No,” said William. “We’re not. We don’t know your sister, but tell her we’re sorry. You can tell your father to get stuffed. I don’t want to see him. We’re going home; do you want to come with us?”

“No, thanks but I’d better not. We came down in my car, I’ll have to go back with them.”

“If I was you, I’d throw the bloody keys at him and tell him to shove the car.”

“Maybe I will, one day, but not yet. I’ve got to think of Suzanne.”

“Well, okay. That’s what I’d do, but you’re not me.” William got to his feet. “Dills, I want to go home now please.”

“Yeah, we’ll go home. I’m really sorry, Ashton, and if you ever want to talk, we’ll be there.”

“Thanks, Dylan and thank you, William. Umm, tell me something, are you two a couple? I mean, I know that you’re cousins, but is it more than that?”

Dylan and William looked at each other and William grinned. “Oh yes! It’s much more than that.”

“I thought so. Good luck to you. So you weren’t like that with Damian?”

“No, it was never like that. I did love him, but we were just mates.”

“I’m glad you were. Silly little bugger needed a friend.”

“He had me. Didn’t do him a lot of good though, did it?”

“I’m sure it didn’t do him any harm. Shame he never reached out to you.”

Dylan said, “Don’t you make that mistake, Ashton. You’ve got friends, us and others.”

“I won’t. Thanks Guys.”

They all stood, hugged and said goodbye. Ashton went inside, Dylan and William went back to the car.

“Thanks, Wills. You did good and I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. I still want to hit someone, but not Ashton. He’s not the enemy.”

“He’s not. He’s a boy crying for his brother. I hope he sorts his own life out.”

“Yeah, me too. Get us out of here, Dills. I want to go somewhere and fuck.”

“You what? Are you sure about that?”

“Totally sure. I want to love you and I want to feel your life in me. I need it.”

“Oh, my Beautiful Boy! Yes, I think I need that too.”

Dylan drove the car out of the city, turned down a side-road and parked on the bank by the Waimakariri River. William was totally naked and climbing over to the back seat before the car stopped.

“Come on, My Dills. Get your gear off and get over here!”

He wasted no time in doing that. He stripped off in record time and climbed back into his boy’s welcoming arms. There wasn’t a lot of room in the back of the small car, but they found a way and they managed.

William was always an enthusiastic and gleeful lover, but this time it was different. This time he was hungry and desperate, like he needed to confirm the life in himself and his lover.

Dylan was on top, but he didn’t feel at all in control. It was over and done in a short time, but when he came he flopped, drained and exhausted.

William kissed him hard. “Thank you, My Dills. I so needed that and I love you very much..”

“Likewise, My Love.”

They lay quietly, cuddling. William kept an ear against Dylan’s bare chest. “Dills? Know who I’d really like to hit? Damian! I’d punch his lights out if I could. Bloody stupid shit. He let the bastards win.”

“Nobody won, Wills. Everybody lost, especially him.”

“Yeah, I’ll never lose as long as you love me.”

“You’ll never lose then. I’ll always love you.”

“Good! Dylan, I don’t want to go home. Can we get a motel somewhere and spend the night together?”

“Sooner or later, we’re going to have to sleep alone you know.”

“Yeah, I know, but not tonight. Please, Dills?”

“Yes, of course we can. I don’t want to be alone either.”

They went on up the highway as far as Amberley, stopped there and booked into a motel. It was a cheap place, there was only one room in their unit, but it had a big bed and that was all they wanted.

They walked up the road, bought takeaways for dinner and sat and ate them in a small roadside park. While they were there, they both phoned their respective mothers to tell them the news and that they were staying the night in a motel.

They carefully didn’t say where the motel was, because if they knew that they’d come as far as Amberley, the mothers would, for sure, want them to come home. They grinned at each other, across the table, when they both said at the same time, “Yeah, of course I’ll be all right, I’m with Dills.” (“I’m with Wills.”)

The day was getting on, the sun was setting behind the mountains, so they went back to the motel, shut the door, closed the drapes and shut the world out.